"The Surreal Life" Cast: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO..?
After all the joy these fine, upstanding celebs brought us over the course of a few weeks on the WB's "The Surreal Life", America now can't help but ask, "Whatever happened to?" them.
Here's an update, detailing what occurred after the "surreal life" ended and the real-life began.
EMMANUEL LEWIS: Opted for elective surgery, to have that annoying laugh removed once and for all. Put together a vaudeville-style song and dance touring show with TV's Dr. Phil. Manny danced, Dr. Phil talked. Boy, did he talk. They made their way across America, healing the hearts and minds of people everywhere they went.
VINCE NEIL: Guest starred on another WB series, a role he won during "The Surreal Life" talent show. He was pissed off that the show turned out to be "Reba". Neil had his heart set on playing a supervillian on "Smallville". He reformed Motley Crue and, along with Whitesnake and Ratt, mounted a "Big Hair Metal Bands of the 80s" reunion package tour. The tour was cancelled, however, due to poor ticket sales. As it turns out, one-time fans stayed away in droves because, quite frankly, they were embarrassed to admit they liked these bands in the first place. Never mind going to a reunion concert.
Neil took a class, "Grocery Shopping 101", at the local community college. He got a passing grade, but only after seducing the 55-year old former heavy metal chick that taught the class.
His teacher was quoted, in the 'National Enquirer', as saying, "I grew up with Black Sabbath and Aerosmith, but, boy did that Vince have a huge set of pipes on him. I was smitten with the Motley Crue bad boy. Let me tell you, the women that say, ??its not the size of the pipes that count, but how a man can sing with them'' are lying."
Just last week, Neil was spotted in Safeway. He successfully found a gallon of milk and loaf of bread. Amazingly, he didn't go over his food budget either, proving that taking the class was a good idea after all.
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