Ah, January. The first month of the year. A winter month. A month where millions of families in America gather in the living room to spend quality time with each other, playing board games while eating cookies.
Oh, who am I kidding? Families gather in the living room in mid-January because of one thing: the world's most popular, overblown karaoke contest.
Yes my friends, American Idol 6 is debuting this Tuesday at 8 PM.
Once again we'll see our gaggle of hopefuls as they try to sing their way to super-stardom. And of course, there's the peanut gallery: host Ryan "My Highlights are Sooo Pretty" Seacrest; and judges Randy "I Used to be in Journey, Dawg" Jackson, Paula "I Swear- the Coke Isn't Spiked" Abdul, and of course, Simon "I Make More Money Than God Because I'm a Jackass" Cowell.
Like past seasons, the first couple of weeks will feature the humiliation episodes. There'll be lots and lots of people who should never speak again, let alone sing- and Simon will naturally be there to rip their dreams to shreds and piss all over them.
We will see cute, tone deaf teens from the midwest who'll get their hearts broken because this will be the first time someone has told them that they suck. There'll be really weird people who think that they can pass a singing audition by doing everything but sing (juggle, dress in costume, rap, dance, display their inventions). We'll have to sit through all the Whitney/Mariah/Celine wannabes, and groan at the lame Stevie Wonder impersonators. Some idiot is going to flirt with/sing to Paula and will pass to the next round. Simon will call someone fat, and Randy will contribute nothing whatsoever. Good times are ahead of us my friends—good times.
Then the elimination game begins. People are sent packing, picking up the pieces of their shattered dreams. This process continues until the group is eventually whittled down to the sacred Top 12. These contestants become celebrities overnight. Fan sites are created, forums discuss every single detail of each contestant's looks, attitude, personality—and of course, performance. The Top 12 enjoys this newfound fame until they get booted off the show. Each week a contestant is systematically eliminated until there's one person left standing—the winner.
To be perfectly honest, I never watched the first season of American Idol. It didn't interest me. I'd see my parents watching this show that seemed like a televised karaoke contest and think, "Didn't they cancel Star Search years ago?"
I just thought it was odd, watching a bunch of nobodies perform old songs. Then again, I was never really a fan of reality TV. I just didn't get the point about getting excited over a bunch of people who, before entering some TV contest and agreeing to expose their lives to millions, were just like me and you.
But one fateful night my boyfriend was at my house and noticed that my parents were watching the season finale. He'd never seen the show either and wanted to at least catch the last show of the season. Since I had nothing better to do, I reluctantly plopped down on the couch next to him. That night, I was introduced to the contestants' energy and devotion to their craft, Simon's nasty remarks, and the audience's excitement. I then witnessed a Texas cocktail waitress named Kelly Clarkson totally OWN some curly-haired dork named Justin Guarini. After seeing all that, I was hooked.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Doreen
I disagree that Bo Bice is a failure. His first album went Gold. Maybe he hasn't done as well as Carrie, but country is country and much easier genre. Just my opinion.
2 - Ms Albright
"Sadly, Bice has yet to really succeed in the music industry. His debut album was a failure, most likely because most of the music was more generic pop rock, a departure from what fans (like me) expected from Bice."
I think fans of Bo Bice know he has had a very successful year. Yes his CD did not sell like the winner, but remember their CD's were two different genre. Country welcomed Carrie with open arms, where the pop world was a little cold to Bo. But when it was all over, Bo's CD was in the top 100 for Billboard for the year and his single is still being played on the radio one year after it's release.
Where Bo Bice shines is in his live performances. His concerts rock. You cannot sit still and listen to him sing, his performance demands that you get on your feet. Bo's working on his next CD, let's see what's ahead for him, I don't think the jury is out yet.
3 - Kaonashi
Doreen- His album may have gone gold, but I don't think it hit platinum. I can't comment on country music since I'm not a fan, so I don't know if it's truly an "easier" genre.
Ms. Albright- I think that the pop world was indifferent to Bo because he wasn't meant to be a pop star. I wanted to buy his album when it first came out, but when I heard samples of the music, I decided against it because it didn't sound like the Bo I was familiar with. It's not his fault. Kelly Clarkson's first album wasn't the greatest either. I think that (like Kelly) it's part of his contract with 19 Entertainment (which produces American Idol), to make some mainstream pop/rock CD.
I hope that Bo's next CD will be better. I'm looking forward to it.
4 - Lisa
Bo's CD went gold. A gold record can by no means be called a failure. IMO, its better to start out slowly then to sell so many of your debut CD that it is going to be hard to top with your second.
5 - Joyce
I enjoyed your article and agree with most of it. The problem I'm having is calling Bo Bice a failure. He sold somewhere around 700 thousand copies of his CD. Maybe it wasn't what alot of people expected but it was made in 45 days after having very serious surgery. If you give it a try you might really like. His first single is still getting air play after a year. I'm sorry but Bo Bice is anything but a failure in my book.
6 - Doreen
Thanks for commenting back. You may want to give Bo's album a try. There are some really catchy songs on it. It happens to be one of my favorites.
I too am looking forward to his 2nd CD. I'm sure it will be wonderful.
7 - Cathy
Bo Bice is no faliure in my book. His cd went gold and his single The Real Thing ended up number 32 on Amercia's Top 40 for 2006. In my opinion that is not bad at all. His live concerts Rock. I can't wait until his second CD comes out and he is back on tour.
8 - Tanja
Bo Bice a failure???? I think not. A gold record is not failing. You need to rethink your words.
9 - Robin
I don't understand how you can make the statement that Bo's CD was a failure. How can you call a gold record a failure. I think you should listen to the flip side of his dual disc which has his songs. He is an outstanding performer!
10 - DBLISS
Bo Bice got married, had a baby, had 3 serious health scares that sidelined him and still managed to get an album out tho tied to the AI machine. I was not a huge fan but lets face it --the guy can rock the house!
11 - CarMay7
I do not agree with any of your article. It is obvious that you didn't watch AI, but you write an article about it. How funny. Bo Bice is not a failure and AI5 was not unmemorable, at least to the people that cast 63 million votes. Where were you? Both of the final two contestants were very memorable if you bother to keep up with their careers. Taylor Hicks CD has gone platinum in 1 month and there is no doubt Katherine's will also. The final night with the two of them is very memorable. Also Taylor's tour is selling out all over the country. Just because they don't sing typical pop or rock doesn't mean they are not memorable.
12 - Kaonashi
Thank you for all your comments so far. I'm glad that you all read my article, even if you don't agree with what I say :)
First of all, I have watched every single episode of American Idol since season 2, so I know what I'm talking about. The last commenter was right though about one thing- I haven't kept up with Taylor Hicks or Katharine McPhee's careers. Both are fine singers, but we have yet to see whether they'll make it.
Second, I like Bo Bice. I consider myself a fan, and really wanted him to win that year. He's an amazing and talented performer, and I looked forward to his performance every week. When he lost to Carrie, I was disappointed like you all were, but I had hoped that he would be a successful runner-up like Clay Aiken.
To be fair, "failure" is too strong of a word to describe Bo's debut CD. A true failure would be Justin Guarini's CD. I don't have the exact numbers, but I don't think his album even sold 100,000 copies. Bo's CD did hit gold, but let's get serious- it wasn't as successful compared to Clay, Carrie, or Kelly's CDs. Clay's CD hit double platinum within TWO WEEKS of its release! However, this definitely doesn't mean that this is it for Bo. Kelly's debut CD wasn't great either, but her second CD earned her two Grammy Awards. We have yet to see what's in store for Bo.
13 - carrie
Selling nearly 700,000 cd's, and having a legitimate hit single is hardly considered a failure, especially for a runner up. Bo Bice is no failure. The only true failure that AI has ever really had is runner-up Justin G. I don't think he even sold 100,000 cd's. And I suppose you could argue that there are no real failures coming from AI. I doubt Justin would have sold 1 record had it not been for AI.
14 - The Truth
Wow what a pack of lies, warped views and just plain crap. If you don't like someone they are a failure, disappeared, or had to milk a sob story to win. The real failure is you for not being able to accept that others are talented, successful and worthy of having fans even if you don't like them. Maybe some day when you grow up you'll learn the true meaning of success.
15 - Kaonashi
"Wow what a pack of lies, warped views and just plain crap."
I guess the last commenter didn't understand that the little label above that says, "Opinion" means that I'm offering my personal, subjective thoughts in this article. It's not meant to be taken as pure fact. Of course I had my favorites and my dislikes.
Like commenter carrie said, one can argue that just being on the show is a success for any contestant. After all, these people came from nowhere and become famous in practically the blink of an eye.
For the record, let me emphasize that I never said that Bo himself was a failure- I was referring to his album.
16 - Dan
I can't wait to see the new season of American Idol! I've been a big fan since the first season, because I love seeing all the undiscovered talent that America has to offer. There have been some really good singers that appeared on the show. Most notably Kelly Clarkson. She has one of the best voices I've ever heard! I've watched American Idol for years now, and I always love catching it. Especially the beginning episodes because they are so funny! Did you know American Idol won favorite competition/reality show for The People's Choice Awards?! Did you guys check out the awards show? Did anyone enjoy it? You can view highlights and behind the scene footage of the show at http://www.pcavote.com . They also have message boards and blogs. I work with the People's Choice Community, so check out the site and get the latest entertainment news!
17 - Jewels
Hello Kaonashi, welcome to the fierce fray that is the deal with covering American Idol. I can tell by your comeback commentaries you are an intelligent individual and ably prepared for what may come. Glad to hear you are, deep down a Bo Bice fan. He is so fine, and got so screwed.
I'll be reading.
18 - duane
Your all just jelos of bow brice stop dising him listen to him he is da best.
Hi, Jewels. How was that? A little pre-emptive 'jealousy' comment for Kaonashi.
19 - Kaonashi
Dan- No, I didn't catch the People's Choice Awards, but I did watch the Golden Globes tonight.
Jewels- Thanks for the welcome. Actually, as a veteran of an AI forum with some viciously defensive fans *cough*Claymates*cough*, I'm used to the insanity :)
Duane- Heheh, for a minute you had me going there! "Bow Brice" was a nice touch.
20 - supernova_kitten
Dwayne, why don't u go on American Idol and play your geetar...someone might throw panties at choo. Maybe u can sing and dance 2.
21 - Christy
It's nice to see you correct your use of "failure" in reference to Bo Bice. Hold on to your pen and opinion--he will be rockin the world again! Bo is so under-rated, but his true fans know who he is...and where he is going! If he never made another album...his inspiration would carry through to most of us! Bo Bice is more than a Rock Star--the world will know it someday! God Willing.
Don't take my word for it...visit bobice.com or see his "myspace page". If you don't...you are missing the boat folks! ;-)
22 - BikerChick
Thank you for mostly kind words about Bo Bice. However, the comment about Bo Bice's CD being a failure is way too harsh. There are so many artists out there right now who would give their right arm for a gold record and the exposure and opportunities that Mr. Bice has had in the past two years. Just ask has fans about all of his accomplishments during that time which are too numerous to mention. His fans are anxiously awaiting CD #2 as it is only going to get better!
23 - shelley
I strongly disagree with the word "failure" associated with Bo Bice. Considering all he has gone through health wise, I think gold is okay. He had to stop touring to promote himself and his cd because of necessary, complicated surgery. Gee, give the guy a break! Now that he's recovering, he will soon be back out rocking our world once again...
24 - Kathy
If you watched the CMT with Bo you'll know TRT was not what he wanted to do. Please go out and buy the cd. There is some real good songs on the cd. Bo's not a failure. The music world for some reason just will not give this guy a chance. There is no doubt the man can sing. Giving the right songs he's going to sing the hell out of them. And, if you ever get a chance to see him live run don't walk. He puts on one hell of a show. Failure not by a long shot.
25 - Rebecca
I can see that you've retracted the statement that Bo's album was a failure (obviously a bit of an overstatement at 700,000 copies sold), so hopefully people won't keep going on and on about it.
I agree that Bo should have done far better however; if the record company had made an album that actually sounded like Bo, I have no doubt that he would have. I don't think Jewel's description of the whole affair that he was "screwed" is stating it too strongly. I really hope the company can demonstrate the ability and creativity to make the Bo album most of his fans were really hoping for next time around.
I don't think his health problems were the major issue - though that might have affected his ability to fight for more appropriate material. I think the main problem lies with the label.