Watch this trailer (Quicktime) for Vin's new family comedy The Pacifier, and tell me that you have still have a shred of respect for Vin Diesel. I dare ya. I double dog dare ya. I would sooner pay money to see that "divine" freakin' sandwich than I would to see Vin Diesel whore out his last shred of dignity in this cinematic crime against humanity. Boy, having a "tough guy" do a family comedy with children is such a brand new concept! And it's directed by the guy who did Bringing Down The House, so you just know it's going to be incredibly subtle!
In about two minutes of trailer, there are three, count 'em, three different baby fart/crap gags, culminating in Mr. Diesel pulling out a poopy diaper right as the narrator says "duty calls."
Duty calls. Vin with diaper con doody.
If I had a sharp object on my person at that particular moment, your beloved Drew probably wouldn't be writing this right now. But I learned long ago never to watch trailers while in the vicinity of any potentially lethal weapons. I call it my Soul Man rule.
Maybe I'm just being an elitist snob. There must be some sort of market for action guys doing the PG kiddie fare, or else they wouldn't keep making 'em. Somebody's gotta be buying Kindergarten Cop and Disney's The Kid, right? I have a sneaking suspicion they're the same people who send me e-mail forwards swearing that if I forward their e-mail to nine other people, I'll get a $50 gift certificate to Applebee's.
But hey, watching these types of movies or sending out forwards for financial gain do share a common end result - excruciating pain followed by the eventual ponderance of "What the hell was I thinking?"
Drew can be found kvetching about movies and pop culture at Drew's Blog-O-Rama as well as providing the universe with free movie and television scripts online at Drew's Script-O-Rama since 1995. Because really, what the world was lacking was another whiny bastard who fancies himself a witster, and how could society truly function without free access to scripts like Analyze That and Biker Mice From Mars?
Article comments
1 - albanesse
Wow.. from man that brought us stiff acting as an art form and get paid for it! I am amazed that he works as a lead at all. Such a shame. he had the potential to be a good background actor. you know... do a couple of lines that stuck out and he could have been doing 3-6 movies a year, now he does one every couple of years and as a leading man.. well, he can never top Iron Giant
2 - Jim Carruthers
Well, now he's got this out of his system, he can focus on the first true expression of his craft. Gay porn loops with Van Damme on pay-per-view in Hilton and Holiday Inn digital channels.
3 - Eric Olsen
thanks Drew, outrage well-expressed! I think the theory behind these is the "inherent humor" of playing against type, but material is everything
4 - Mike
Vin Diseal my ass! What a lame-o piece of shit...
5 - drew
I'm flattered that Vin Diesel's mother takes time out of her day to read my stuff!
6 - Duane
It's usually a bad omen when an action type actor or a leading man type actor shows up in a movie centered around kids or animals. I'm reminded of Antonio Banderas in the Spy Kids movies, for example. I just feel sorry for Mr. Diesel. He'll end up like Mr. T. These guys never take lessons from history. Their egos get in the way every time.
7 - Eric Olsen
egos and cash
8 - Yolie
Well I see that this is an all male-no-balls site here. Damn Vin does a movie that shows a little humor and you guys so- called maleness goes into a uproar. So Vin has more to his acting skills than muscles and he wants to explore that. Good for you Vin!!! And don't worry guys, the male status quo still stands as is. Btw, none of you guys are fathers huh, cause the baby poo scenes are funny as hell!!!
9 - Baldtoughguy
As a shaved head "tough guy" stereo-typed aspiring actor such as myself, I must carefully follow the career of Vin Diesel, as his success directly affects my chances of making it on the big screen. Vin has been in almost nothing but good movies (save The Fast and the Furious) and I somewhat trust his judgement in script selection. But I also agree that it was a bad career move. How can you follow Chronicles of Riddick with this seemingly ridiculous fluffball comedy? True, Riddick didn't do well in theatres, but does that justify him selling out to make a Disney film? I think he plays a great "tough guy" and hopefully his upcoming role as Hannibal will repair any damage done by this flick. Vin Diesel as Hannibal just seems right. Anyway, I have faith the man will rebound and not go the way of Ahnold (read K-Cop to Last Action Hero to - nobody cares anymore). Don't let me down Vin. Aspiring actors like myself will take your place and fill the void you'll create by doing crap movies.
10 - Nikki
I don't know what the problem with vin Diesel that you have. He is a great actor and I can't wait to see the pacifier. I think it looks really funny and that he does a great job. I think most guys are just jealous of him because he is hot, has muscles, can act and most women want him. He definately is someone to be jealous of. He has many talents as you can tell in his variety of movies he has done. Plus I hear he can sing too! Not many men you find have all of the great qualities, I guess he just got lucky.
11 - Jami
I really don't understand what your problem is, but you're entitled to your own opinion. But in my opinion "The Pacifier" was one of Vin's best movies. He is a very talented actor who plays any role to perfection. I think you might just be jealous because he made it big and is doing an awesome job and you're not. Just remember, "It's easy to put people down, especially ones we don't know, when we don't like the life we are living or the way our life is going." Feel free to qoute me on this one. Jami
12 - Sammi
I love Vin diesel hes the best!!!
So dont you say nuffin bout him,Hes tryin new movies GOOD for him.It shows he aint all action & muscles hes a genuine guy & i think he rocks!!!
13 - LEA
VIN IS A MADJOR CUTIE. I'VE GOT 6 OR 7 OF HIS MOVIES.
14 - SE - JG
VIN DIESEL IS JUST A PLAIN, STRAIGHT OUT LEGEND!!!!!!!! HIS SHAPE IS MY MAIN GOAL!!! KEEP IT UP!!!
15 - carey
these guys are jealous they cant look that good