It makes sense, of course, that the horror cinema of the seventies is proving so appealing to filmmakers of the nowadays. American horror was, for much of that decade, loaded to the bell-end bindings with political commentary and subversive attack. Those pictures were cynical, questioning, paranoid and frightened by the direction we were headed, and so aye, if any set of flicks is going to be relevant to the nowadays, it's going to be those numbers about how we're all fucking fucked.
But I digress.
This new fangled Hills Have Eyes, you'll be well aware, was something I had very much been looking forward to. You may recall that, in my letter of January of this year, I expressed sentiments along the lines of how yes, I am overjoyed it is to be Alexandre Aja who will tackle an update of that most wonderfully sun-bleached, dust-caked and dry-throated of survival horrors. Aja, I noted, was surely the man for the job. His Haute Tension, you'll remember, was stunning for at least twenty of its first twenty-three minutes, after which it shocked us all by way of a twist in which it turned out the whole thing was actually fucking, well, abysmal.
There was, however, a hint of something magical straining to free itself from the shackles of that wretched mess. Whilst my yap tossed many's a cunt and fuck and shitty-shite t'wards the whole sorry debacle, I reserved judgement on Aja himself. I sensed something altogether marvelous might be in store, if ever he found himself with a worthwhile project for to garnish with giddy glory.
I must tell you, my friend, Aja's Hills Have Eyes is a gods-cursed masterpiece, a nasty, filthy, beautifully deranged orgy of face-smashing and nose-butting and leg-chomping and head-melting. It feels rather removed in tone from Craven's original, and so one would have a bastard of a time attempting to weigh the two in pursuit of a line about "This one's better", but rest assured this re-jigged rendition is as near to perfect as anyone would ever dare to travel for fear of being set upon by a buncha raggle-yapped mutants hell-bent on eating us asunder in the Moroccan desert we went ahead and pretended was New Mexico.
The tale is as it ever was and ever shall be. A vacationing family takes a detour through the desert on their way to California only to be attacked and molested and defiled and killed to death by the cannibal tribe inhabits the nooks in those crannies round about.
Article comments
1 - Mat Brewster
Duelling Aarons, I love it.
Reading this I am either all wet in orgasmic glee, or I just shat myself. Either way twas a glorious few minutes.
2 - Duke De Mondo
"duelling aarons!" haha, shit, that shoulda been the title!
glad you enjoyed it, Sir Brewster. I can only assume there will be many's a grand tale to come.
3 - duane
You guys need to write your novels. You're both gushing style and wit. I volunteer to be part of your test audience.
4 - Duke De Mondo
I'm working on it Duane, and thank you!
5 - Mary K. Williams
"duelling aarons!" haha, shit, that shoulda been the title!
Or, on alternate Tuesdays, title your screeds, "The Gushing Aarons".
Because - like the man said, you do. Gush, that is.
Good Glorious Gushing of Gore, Goodwill, and oft times Gratuitous, but Giggleworthy Grammatical Gems.
6 - Mary K. Williams
yeah, and I liked it too! Good work!
7 - Steve C.
First review I've seen to point out the debt that Aja owes Bruno Dumont. That's awesome.
8 - Duke De Mondo
Mary - The Gushing Aarons is just far too rude to even consider. heh. And thank you.
Steve C - it was a fairly significant debt, i thought. although nothing in this matches the horrific finale of Dumont's number. And thankfully none of that truly distressing agony / ecstasy filthing.
9 - Steve C.
Not much of anything matches the finale of Dumont's crazed exercise in nihilistic ennui, something for which I suppose we should all be grateful. If every film made me feel as emptied-out and exhausted as that film, I'd never get anything done. The last shot, in particular, haunts me to this day (to the point where, if I ever get my screenplay written, I'm gonna steal that shot).
10 - Iloz Zoc
I could write like this, if only Zombos would let me. Damn you Duke. By the way, are you related to the De Mondos on Zimba's side? I think they were all hanged for cannibalism, but aside from that, they were a fun bunch at parties.
11 - Duke De Mondo
iloz zoc, a damn honour to have you pop up here, considering the marvels you yourself have crafted. The ol' family history gets decidedly muddy round about the turn of the 19th century, but i do have a cousin Jimmy De Mondo who was tried for antics similar to cannibalism, and, indeed, found guilty.
12 - Aaron Fleming
Thanks for the comments all you, um, commentors.
Isn't Jimmy Hart also a cousin of yours Duke?