The MILFtrix Re-boner'd - Page 2

And why did everybody act so surprised that Agent Smith could make copies of himself? He's a piece of software. Why wouldn't he be able to? Just right-click, dude. He can probably even rename them if he wants. Or they could just be Agent_Smith(1), Agent_Smith(2), etc. But anyway, don't they have file-sharing in the future? Or maybe that's the point, maybe the Wachowskis are sick of everybody downloading their movies for free, and that's their big "fuck you guys" gesture. Every time a Smith gets kicked in the teeth, it's a blow against Kazaa. Neo's like, "Whoa... I know copy-protection fu!"

Speaking of the totally insane special effects battles, they were okay, although you could always tell when it was all-CGI. Even with the realistic flapping cloaks and wrinkled clothing and facial mapping and whatnot, the CGI characters all had a sort of plastic look to them. Although the programmers did do a pretty good job of giving them weight and mass, unlike the CGI in stuff like Spider-Man and all the trailers for The Hulk. And I liked the deal toward the end where they recreated the Millennium Falcon escaping the Death Star II from The Empire Strikes Back, except with Ted "Theodore" Logan gone all goth and zooming around like Superman.

And in defense of Laurence "Larry" Fishburne and his extra poundage... Yeah, he's fat, but he was the only one who really made me feel it when he was doing the kung fu shit. He wasn't just going, "Punch, punch, punch, then dodge, then you kick me, then I jump," like you could see all the other actors thinking. He was into it. Even though you could tell the speeding semi he was jumping around on was fake, he made you believe that he was fighting for his life.

Oh, and the two other good things about it: Monica Bellucci. Holy shit. Just show a couple hours of her walking around in that dress and call it The MILFtrix Re-boner'd!

Article Author: Jim Treacher

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