It's taken me a bit longer than I'd planned to get around to writing this review, but here it is. Yay for me. So... The Matrix: Reloaded. If you need any further information to be brought up to speed, please return to your ice cave for a few minutes.
My short review borrows one of Drannor's favorite phrases: Big ball of suck! I went in to the theater with intentionally lowered expectations, but even if my expectations had been stuck plumbing the depths of the sewage collection facility three sub-basements below the subterrene Zion, busily mucking out a clog of coppertop-shit rather than preparing to watch the sequel to the Matrix, they could not have been low enough.
The Matrix did not succeed, for me, because of deep philosophy, existential angst, or any other tripe. It worked because, from the first few minutes, it managed to evoke a feeling of mystery and foreboding, managed to make you think that it could very possibly be true that you were naught but a wall-wart for some homo-tropic machine. Neo was an everyman, and we awakened to the wider world with him. Adding a veneer of cyberpunk grittiness, chicks in tight pleather, and bitchin' wraparound sunglasses was just icing on an already yummy cake.
I should have known I was in for a let down when the now-familiar phosphorescent green Kanji started scrolling down the screen at the beginning and my pulse rate quickened in anticipation. The first few minutes seemed good enough, here we are, back in the Nebuchadnezzar, familiar faces, ok... oh goodie, we're actually returning to Zion. Wait... what the... oh no.
Zion. Where to start? Take the classic rust-and-steam factory which has been the scene of the climactic fight scene of a nearly infinite number of action movies, transplant it to the claustrophic environment of a submarine, and then expand it to a scale on par with the alien mothership in Independence Day, and you'll have a good idea of Zion. Oh, yes, and stock it with an endless supply of unwashed hippies — but I repeat myself — wearing stained, moth-holed cardigans. There. That's Zion in a nutshell.
Article comments
1 - Phillip Winn
"simply cutting it off five minutes earlier would have made a much better break point."
When, exactly? Concidering the major bombshell dropped within the last 10 seconds of the film, and the mind-bending scene a minute before that, when exactly should the film have ended?
2 - Robert Jones
"When, exactly? Concidering the major bombshell dropped within the last 10 seconds of the film, and the mind-bending scene a minute before that, when exactly should the film have ended?"
SPOILERS FOLLOW
I would have ended it just after Neo went comatose after dealing with the Squiddies. That was a high-point of drama, and would have rung much more true to me than where the break point actuall was -- which seemed to be trying to hard to say, "Look! It's this guy! You know him!... tune in next week to see what he's up to!"
3 - Phillip Winn
I remember less than a minute after that point, during which we learn that the ambush has failed (raising tension) and that Bane/Smith was responsible (raising many questions). To end it without that cliffhanger seems like it would be less appealing to me, not more. And it would shave less than a minute (rough estimate from memory) off the film, so why?
4 - Jim Treacher
"Major bombshell?" Oh no, Agent Smith is in some guy's brain! Hope he doesn't start cutting his own hand again!
5 - Pedrobrown
Ok... I admit it... the movie sucks. I went to see it the third time and, man, it´s the example of how to turn a great story into a great parody of it´s self.
Even though the dialogues are worthless, nobody buys the CGI Keanus, Zion is an unoriginal melting pot of Star Wars and Terminator, the editting is crap, the music is crap, and some carachters are just bane and irrelevant (the twins, the councilor, the agents) I guess I´ll wait up for Revolutions just to see the only thing that seems to save this whole damn matrix "ball of crap"... the storyline. That is getting better. Hopefully, it´ll make up for all the other screw-ups...
6 - jadester48
the worst thing is, i can see the overall story (excluding the animatrix series) becoming an extended ripoff of the story to Dark City.
It's not an immediately obvious comparison (not to me neway) bcos they do seem quite different - it's only when you think of the stories in a general sense that you get it: (WARNING: imminent spoilers, don't read if you don't like spoilers ok)
Dark City was about a group of beings having control over a whole city which they built, which was populated with humans. The beings had almost complete control over the city, by being able to pause the whole thing. However throughout its history there had been one or two humans born that were unnaffected by the pause thing and were able to have almost the same amount of control as the beings. One day, one of these people discovers what's going on in the city. He fights the beings and, right at the end, discovers that the whole city is it....they are on a ship travelling through space. Rather than expose everyone to this horrifying fact, he decides to reshape the city to his liking then go back to living a normal life with a woman he loves.
The matrix plot is about a group of beings (machines) having complete control over a world populated by real people. Every so often a person is born that can manipulate the world just like the machines. So far they have failed in their fight against the controllers BUT now there is Neo. However at the end of The Matrix Reloaded there is the hint that they are actually still inside the matrix when they think they are in the real world - Neo says something is different, he can sense the sentinals...
It will be a damn shame if it does turn out to follow the Dark City plot. OK it's not a big ripoff but adding loads of technological stuff to a copied story framework does not an original film (or film series) make.
Also is the depressing fact that Dark City gorssed so much less than The Matrix or Reloaded, even though it is a superior film.
7 - Phillip Winn
I enjoyed Dark City, and thought it was underrated, partly because it was released so near to the superior Matrix, though that wasn't the only factor, obviously.
However, the comparisons are extremely superficial.
8 - John Doe
Ya lady your a nut case as millions of other people are thinking.I havent takled to a person yet who hasnt liked the movie (matrix reloaded). I think your parents were the ones who shot the blank.