It is later, at dinner at a nice restaurant, that he tells her he could never marry her. “We have done it,” he tells her. It would be a dishonor for his family. This is one of the very few times during which politics or social mores are directly addressed.
Finally, she is confronted by her mother – who finds out she wasn’t at the boarding school. Her brother says she looks like a whore. Her mother seems to take a rather twisted satisfaction in bullying and degrading her daughter abut the clothes she wears, the places she has been sleeping (certainly not at the boarding school were she was supposed to be) and blaming her haggard, rundown state on the daughter. It’s the classic maternal guilt trip. Between the mother and the one abusive brother who insists on treating her like and calling his sister a whore, it’s no wonder she wants so much to escape, and what greater escape than orgasm. It may be temporary, and logically we may even know that this state of absolute bliss and freedom cannot last, but the fact remains that for those few minutes (or if you’re lucky, even longer…) it is as though the world and its problems and your problems cease to exist. We also know that it will happen again most likely.
Our character loses herself in love – or rather, she loses her old self in love and finds a new self. A self that abandons control of her body to another. A child who takes care of her family so much, finally allows someone to take care of her. Over and over again. Maybe it’s an optimistic point of view, but I like it nonetheless.
When the lover meets the mother and brothers, he takes them to yet another upscale restaurant, where the mother blubbers on about something and the daughter dances extremely provocatively with her brother – really too incestuous. Later, the lover and she return to his dark rum where he hits her hard across the face, pulls her down on the bed and rapes her.
This time, her eyes are open, she picks at them. Her expression is one of pain and humiliation and at the same time, pleasure. It’s too awful to think that any woman could receive pleasure from rape, or wants to be raped – that would be to glamorize, but too often I’ve heard accounts of incest survivors who felt guilt because they wanted love, and this was the only way it was shown. No matter how wrong it may be, if a child is unloved, they will take love any way they can get it, even if it’s ultimately incredibly abusive.
Article comments
1 - Eric Olsen
very nuanced and exceptional review - life can be very complicated and pretending it isn't so doesn't change it
2 - srp
Eric - absolutely right. it's all shades of grey, really. Part of me wants so much to believe in Absolutes - you know, Right/Wrong - but it's never so simple, tho' i wish it were so. Interesting and that's a whole article|blog in itself - shades of grey are the hardest things to negotiate in this life -- for me anyway.
~~~srp
3 - Eric Olsen
another lesson from this: perky breasts are dangerous
4 - srp
eric eric
true true true
*
*~}
5 - ryan
thanks for restating everything you could learn from just reading the book.
6 - sadi
yeah, well, you know some people hadn't read the book, and since i published Duras's LAST BOOK before she died when i was a book publisher, i felt i had something to say. Thing is, nobody made you read it, and if you know so much, then go write your own review. I never said this was my best, but then, perhaps you hadn't seen other work and even if you had, you'd have some pithy comment about that too.
Since you seem to know so much, how about you sign up and educate all of us, because really, we are all just hanging on your every word and awaiting your wisdom, and fuck, just because i corresponded with Duras and she allowe dme to publish her book and my husband published her first (uh, that would be this one reviewed here), you're right. What the hell would i know. That said, i could have done a much better job but it was an off day,
but as i said; i'm assuming you never have off days since you so freely attack the work of others, so i'm waiting, practically shaking with anticipation, to read your forthcoming reviews.
Line 'em up. Send us the links. I'm sure all of us here at Blogcritics have a great deal to learn from a brain like you.
Really -- . Not kidding. Educate us. After all, we're all stupid here.
Just ask Eric - i'm sure he'll agree. Right?
Thanks though, for such a clever, thoughtful, and very brave comment!
Aren't you too clever by half.
7 - Mark Saleski
wow! sadi channels dawn olsen!!
who woulda thunk it?
;-)
8 - sadi
mark, you crack me up...
love,
s.
9 - kbee
The presentation of a 15 year old child having "sexual power" dovetails perfectly with the delusions of pedaphiles. The rapist's "she really wanted it" argument shows up again and again, regardless of whether the victim is 5 years old, or 15, or 95. Look at the cover photo for the film. How can you look at a pathetic, deranged adult man checking out a child's ass and not want to stop him?
10 - Cerulean
The Lover was a very powerful book. There's a line either from the book or from the movie saying, "In the dessert that was the rest of their lives." I was was particularly moved by that. It's in the movie. I looked for it in the book but couldn't find it. Is it there, Sadi? Where?
When the book came out, a friend gave me a copy and said that I reminded her of the girl in the book. Not that I was some guy's mistress, but I dressed kind of like that and I grew up in an exotic place where whites were a minority . . .
Sadi, if you were Margarite Duras's publisher, would you please tell us about that. I want to know about it.
11 - anna
hey sadi,
thanks for the review it was really good. i havent actually seen the movie but it seems pretty close to the novel. i have to do a presentation on it (the novel) for uni and needed some background cos im pretty slack and havent thought 2 much about it. anyway, very thought provoking. the theme of my unit is 'difference and desire' and your review really helped me realise how that plays in the novel. top stuff,
thanks again, Anna
12 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
hi there:
I"m not sure where the exact line you speak of is, probably toward the end of the book would be my guess, but you can, i believe, search the book on Amazon for specific phrases, so try that.
AS for publishing Duras: Yes, i published her very last book (i believe this was her last according to the agent who represented it, a very reputable agent) and the book is entitled simply "Writing" or "Ecrire" in French. It was translated by Mark Polizzotti (my husband) and published by Lumen Editions, which was my publishing imprint that i ran for years when i worked in book publishing (he still does: i'm in IT but still on the fringe of books, since i've done it for so long...)
Mark suggested that Random House publish The Lover when he read it in France and he saved all of his notes back and forth with the editors. They "did not think an American audience would accept this book" or something like that (not a direct quote, but i do have the correspondence back and forth just for a lark).
How funny, then, that we both, as editors, published Duras, wound up getting married and were both told that Duras would not sell in America. And here we are... her books have done very well and The Lover is a classic among a certain group of people anyway ~~ I could go on, but don't wish to bore others w/ this history of mine etc etc. Maybe one day i'll write it all up in a memoir no one will buy, lol...
Be well,
Sadi
13 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
the earlier points about pedophelia, that i did not see until now are well-taken. You make a valid point andI can't address it really because The Lover was based, as I understand it, on Duras's life experience, which she often drew on for her fiction - so it's likely partially anyway, a true story of her youth. It's hard to know with her. So this doesn't make it okay but if she wants to write about her life then what can i say about that other than to review the work and that's that.... but i get your point.
thanks,
s.r.p.
14 - shees
now that this page has gone necro...
15 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
quoi?