The future that wasn't

Remember I Dream of Jeannie? In one episode, Major Nelson offers to give Major Healey one wish. While Major Healey is contemplating what to wish for, he spills coffee on Major Nelson and blurts out "I wish I hadn't done that." Jeannie blinks and the spill is gone.

Now, this being a sitcom and all, it turns out that the fabric of Major Nelson's uniform jacket (which Dr. Bellows calls a blouse much to my annoyance) is now impervious to spills. Usual Jeannie hilarity ensues while Dr. Bellows tries to show this to General Peterson and wrecks all of the General's uniforms.

Then, in his usual Tony Nelson way, our hero explains to Jeannie just why this is bad. No one will have to by new clothes and then the cotton growers, railroads, and retail stores will all go under and the entire economy will collapse.

Now here we are in 2003. We have the fabric impervious to stains. You've seen the commercials. In one, two businessmen are having breakfast and the one with the miracle shirt is irritated because his friend keeps pouring coffee over the sleeve just to watch it roll off. In another, a man wears the pants to a Vegas bachelor weekend and returns home all disheveled with perfect pants. (If you haven't seen them, you don't watch enough TV and why are you reading an I Dream of Jeannie post?)

Lo and behold, the economy hasn't collapsed — well at least not because of perfect clothes.

Article Author: Justene Adamec

Justene practices law in downtown LA. To chat about this or other topics, IM Justene.

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