The Problem With Kids Today #345675
What the hell, man.
The Duke sighs and shakes his head, is what.
Obviously, since I'm sitting here in County Antrim and you're maybe a million miles away in Alabama or Newcastle, you'll have to take my honest to God word that I am shaking my head like my life depended on it.
If you didn't know any better, you'd think a motherfucker with a balaclava and a thirst for blood was standing behind me with a gun pointed at my skull, and the only way he'll let me live is if I shake my head like when a St Bernard comes in from the rain.
I'm shaking my head like Beethoven post-tidal wave, is what I would say for to illustrate the degree of my skull movements.
But why, you are no doubt thinking, might you be shaking your head in such a manner, oh Duke? Are you perchance listening to a rock music song, maybe by The Blink 162's or Avril Ravine?
No, man, I'm shaking my head on account of "the youth", and the fucked-up shenanigans they been getting up to.
Used to be a twelve-year old wanted nothing more than some computer game about shoot a man in the head when he goes to the toilet. Nowadays, they ain't content unless they have so many AK-47's down their trousers that metal detectors go off like polyphonic ringtones if they get within a ten-mile radius.
These kids, man. These motherfucking youngsters is what.
I was 13 once. Did I have a lesbian sex encounter? Did I snort cocaine cracks? Did I drink a beer and then punch a girl on the face and then she punches me and then we fall about laughing?
Did I fuck, is the gratuitously vulgar answer.
That's all these kids wanna do nowadays, though. They wanna shoot stuff, snort stuff, sex stuff, swear about fuck and so on.
And the reason I know all this is because of a film by the name of Thirteen, what concerns itself with being about a thirteen year old.
You may remember a film from 1987 called Can't Buy Me Love, about Patrick Dempsey wants to buy a telescope or something, and also cuts grass for to make a bit of money, but what he really wants is to sex the cool girl, and then when he gets her, he changes, man. He used to be geeky but sweet, and now he's hip, but he's a motherfucker also.
![Thirteen - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack [CD on Demand]](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/519Pj1T0pUL._SL120_.jpg)
Article comments
1 - RJ Elliott
I enjoyed this movie. Some teenage girls are really this fucked up. I think this is more of a documentary than anything Michael Moore puts out.
2 - Chris Kent
El Senor Duke,
Had this here flick in my hand to watch the other day, but decided a double feature of Wonderland and Thirteen would be just too much to bare.....
So pulled down a copy of Manitou because when watching a film about porn star murders, one must follow with a film about midget Native Americans trying to take over the world.....
Long story short, I am going to rent this after your post....Nice job.
3 - Jim Carruthers
"Thirteen" is the cure for those who have pervy idle thoughts about cruising young hotties down the mall. And when you have full frontal from Holly Hunter, and your immediate thought is to get her a bathrobe and a cup of tea, that's some heavy shit.
4 - Chris Kent
Jim,
When discussing disturbing "full frontal," we should always start with Harvey Keitel in The Piano.
The horror, the horror.....
cruising young hotties down the mall
I want comment on this as a lot of people have seen Thirteen and I doubt seriously they are doing it as a cure for perv tendencies.....However, I was not aware they had malls in Canada.