There's also the love interest of sorts, Liz Sherman, played by the understated Selma Blair, afflicted with the unfortunate condition of being prone to burst into flames when she gets a little too emotional. It's like the girl in The Adventures Of The X-Men who can't do any sexing with her boyfriend on account of he can't handle her weird mutant carry-ons.
Similarly, Liz can't really get it on with any normal folks on account of they tend to burn to death. Which is good news for Hellboy, since he can withstand that sort of malarkey, as evidenced in a particularly pleasant bout of CGI romanticism.
The most striking character, however, even more than the head honcho himself, is Kroenen, a psychotic Nazi fella with an addiction to self-mutilation and unnecessary surgical tomfoolery, and also a fondness for S&M accessories. He looks like something from the inlay to The Golden Age Of Grotesque by The Marilyn Manson Family, and is just as striking when the gimp-mask is briefly removed and we see his mutilated fizog, shorn of lips and eyelids. He's also fairly mean with a blade or two.
Again, it's hard to swallow on a moral level, how this Nazi fuck is undoubtedly the coolest looking villain to appear onscreen in years. His henchwoman, the somewhat predictably named Ilsa, is not, however, a She-Wolf Of The SS, but is in-fact a fairly dull lass who does little more than bark orders now and again.
And the lead baddie, none other than gargantuan-dick himself, Rasputin, is fairly poor to be honest.
The narrative rests heavily on Mignola's Seed Of Destruction story-line, but there's not much plot to speak of, other than there's Rastafarian demon things running around that Hellboy needs to stop, and Rasputin and company are looking for Hellboy on account of he is the key to some kind of apocalyptic chaos, but really we're just invited to relax and take in some astounding imagery, and great set-pieces such as a rumble in a subway train that brings to mind that other Rastafarian-Baddie classic, Predator 2, and concludes with a bout of fire-extinguisher to the face which is at least 94% less disturbing than the similar antics in Irreversible.
That imagery reaches a horrifying crescendo in the finale, when Del Toro flexes the old Horror muscles to paint a truly terrifying landscape, complete with tentacle-Gods floating about in the sky and our lead fella taking on a truly diabolical appearance.
Article comments
1 - Jim Carruthers
I was looking forward to "Hellboy", though I hadn't read any of the comix (I've been in a "meh" phase the last while), but had reasonably enjoyed Del Toro's stuff (Especially The Giant Cucharachas Who Ride the Toronto Transit Commission Subway).
I saw a screener, and it was okay, but at the end, well, at least I don't feel cheated. But the characters are shallow, and the villains don't make any sense. They have no motivation other than they are eeevvvviiiilllllll!!!!!! And that makes for a piss-poor villain.
And on the other side, well, they're the good guys, and you don't get much more than that.
"Hellboy" was better than most comic book movies, but almost any two episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel would kick his big red ass.
For a good take on the Cthulhu mythos as applied to post-WW II, check Charlie Stross' "A Colder War".
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Jim, thanks for the comments and for the recommendation there. I'll be clicking once i finish here.
I agree with most of what you just said, about how the "evil" characters seem to have very little motivation, or if they do, it's not really related in much of a way other than yacking on about some "Eden" or other, but i dunno, i couldn't see an apple anywhere, and i don't remember the bible having a scene with giant octopi.
Overall though, i thought it was a lot of fun, and it'll probably end up like X-Men 1 is now, an above-average warm-up for a much more involving sequel.
Hopefully, anyroad.
3 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Oh, and totally agree with the Buffy thing. In fact, at various points in the film i was thinking how such a meagre storyline would be better served in a double-part Angel or something.
4 - Jim Carruthers
Actually Joss Whedon already did the treatment for a better story, but instead of calling it "Hellboy", he called it "Fray".
Mysterious gurl with special powers? Check
Horned demon from hell who aides her in fighting some sort of world-ending evil? Check
A fish-like guy who lives in an apartment sized aquarium? Check
Really long-lived evil bugger who wants to bring about the end of said world by bringing back an Elder Ghod? Check
Basket full of kittens? Shit, no way. (Time, Mr. Spike is what turns kittens into tabbies).
"Fray" is also from Dark-horse, and it has an ending which doesn't require "To Be Continued, honestly the next one will be better".
5 - Vic
That was a helluva review. :-)
Vic
6 - Vic
That was a helluva review. :-)
Vic
7 - Shark
And now for something completely different...
Shark watched Hellboy in early April
8 - Shark
"...Incidentally, this final showdown is directly preceded by a scene which climaxes with 45 seconds of silent black-screen."
...meaning "we didn't have a fucking clue what to do here, but figured a theater full of retarded window-lickin' comix and action figure fans won't notice..."
9 - Jim Carruthers
Or the 45 second clip could be the actual work-print (where they leave blank leader while waiting for the CGI to be done) which on release resulted in a hearty round of "I thought you were taking care of _that_" and much ass-kicking.
10 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Jim, its possible. But it does give the impression of much time having passed, meaning the transition from the explosion to the tied-up carry-ons makes slightly more sense.
Shark, thats a tad harsh, dont you think? I don't think i like being classed as a "retarded window-lickin' comix and action figure fan". although i do like comics and action figures, and am probably retarded, but i havent licked a window in at least two months.
11 - Shark
Duke, that wasn't necessarily aimed at you, but um... you did kinda like the movie:
"...It's a bit shallow, a tad overlong, and really, lose the motherfucking Nazi's, but it's still a superior blockbuster with enough heart to justify the occasional lapses in taste or narrative."
Shallow? Overlong? Lose the main drive of the 'plot'?
But it's a superior blockbuster?
Jeesus. What does it take for you to NOT like a movie? What's your friggin' criteria, man?
Oh, wait -- "jawdropping" effects.
No plot.
No characters.
Just jawdropping effects.
hell, you can get that with any commercial on TV.
For free!
Shark's
12 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Shark, PMSL
I guess it just won me over is all, it had a lot of heart, and it didn't feel cynical or calculated to me. It just seemed like a hell of a lot of fun, and really, it was the imagery that won me over in the end. I still say that final scene has some of the most arresting fantasy imagery in a mainstream film in a long time.
I guess its like spiderman. It didn't have much plot going on besides Pete tryin to find himself and what not, and the villain was fairly crud (not to take anything away from willem dafoes energetic gurning) but overall the thing was so much damn fun that you came away with a smile on your face, or at least i did, anyhow.
I just liked the damn thing, man, but that don't mean its flawless. I mean, shit, i think Amytiville II is amazing. What the hell do i know?