Well, Hellboy came and went at the cinemas in the USA Of America with little fuss outside of the faithful. It goes on general release in the UK later this year, which is why The Duke will relate to you if it is in fact worth seeing.
The answer to the question about is it worth seeing is yes, it is very worth seeing indeed.
We open on a desolate, gothic, fog-shrouded graveyard of some kind, where a few fellas are trying to stop some Nazi Motherfuckers from getting up to all sorts of black-magic shenanigans. Amongst the good guys is Professor Trevor Bruttenholm, played by John Hurt, who is none other than personal paranormal advisor or some such to President Roosevelt. What this job entails we can only speculate. Maybe he tells him where to put his incense for maximum spirit-conjuring effect, or if his furniture is just laughable with regards the Feng-Shui.
Anyway, these Nazi types open a portal of some sort, and things whirl around a while and lots of dust and wind flies about the place, but nothing terribly threatening seems to occur.
The scene goes on to illustrate how one of the Nazi types throws something or other into this vortex, and then one of them gets impaled via carelessly-flung debris, and at the end of it all there's a little red imp fella with horns and a tail scooting around the place.
I have to say, though, The Duke is a little tired of all this supernatural-Nazi gumpf. By creating a subconscious thought in the skull of Popular Culture that these Nazis were some kind of alchemical geniuses fit to command all Hades to do their bidding, are we not in some way supporting the theory that these scum-chewing wretched fucks were in some way superior? Like all this crud about how they had UFO's and so on, on account of the vast technological knowledge they were in possession of.
Sorry folks, they weren't in league with Satan or Aliens or anyone else. They were rampaging barbarian bullying fucks. That's all, man.
I mean fuck, is 6 million dead not enough? You want them to open the gates of hell as well, since they can only be really evil if, y'know, they have the resurrected Rasputin alongside.
Even Steven Spielberg felt he had to go ahead and make up for his zany-comedy-Nazi's in Raiders Of The Lost Ark by crafting Schindler's List.
Article comments
1 - Jim Carruthers
I was looking forward to "Hellboy", though I hadn't read any of the comix (I've been in a "meh" phase the last while), but had reasonably enjoyed Del Toro's stuff (Especially The Giant Cucharachas Who Ride the Toronto Transit Commission Subway).
I saw a screener, and it was okay, but at the end, well, at least I don't feel cheated. But the characters are shallow, and the villains don't make any sense. They have no motivation other than they are eeevvvviiiilllllll!!!!!! And that makes for a piss-poor villain.
And on the other side, well, they're the good guys, and you don't get much more than that.
"Hellboy" was better than most comic book movies, but almost any two episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel would kick his big red ass.
For a good take on the Cthulhu mythos as applied to post-WW II, check Charlie Stross' "A Colder War".
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Jim, thanks for the comments and for the recommendation there. I'll be clicking once i finish here.
I agree with most of what you just said, about how the "evil" characters seem to have very little motivation, or if they do, it's not really related in much of a way other than yacking on about some "Eden" or other, but i dunno, i couldn't see an apple anywhere, and i don't remember the bible having a scene with giant octopi.
Overall though, i thought it was a lot of fun, and it'll probably end up like X-Men 1 is now, an above-average warm-up for a much more involving sequel.
Hopefully, anyroad.
3 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Oh, and totally agree with the Buffy thing. In fact, at various points in the film i was thinking how such a meagre storyline would be better served in a double-part Angel or something.
4 - Jim Carruthers
Actually Joss Whedon already did the treatment for a better story, but instead of calling it "Hellboy", he called it "Fray".
Mysterious gurl with special powers? Check
Horned demon from hell who aides her in fighting some sort of world-ending evil? Check
A fish-like guy who lives in an apartment sized aquarium? Check
Really long-lived evil bugger who wants to bring about the end of said world by bringing back an Elder Ghod? Check
Basket full of kittens? Shit, no way. (Time, Mr. Spike is what turns kittens into tabbies).
"Fray" is also from Dark-horse, and it has an ending which doesn't require "To Be Continued, honestly the next one will be better".
5 - Vic
That was a helluva review. :-)
Vic
6 - Vic
That was a helluva review. :-)
Vic
7 - Shark
And now for something completely different...
Shark watched Hellboy in early April
8 - Shark
"...Incidentally, this final showdown is directly preceded by a scene which climaxes with 45 seconds of silent black-screen."
...meaning "we didn't have a fucking clue what to do here, but figured a theater full of retarded window-lickin' comix and action figure fans won't notice..."
9 - Jim Carruthers
Or the 45 second clip could be the actual work-print (where they leave blank leader while waiting for the CGI to be done) which on release resulted in a hearty round of "I thought you were taking care of _that_" and much ass-kicking.
10 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Jim, its possible. But it does give the impression of much time having passed, meaning the transition from the explosion to the tied-up carry-ons makes slightly more sense.
Shark, thats a tad harsh, dont you think? I don't think i like being classed as a "retarded window-lickin' comix and action figure fan". although i do like comics and action figures, and am probably retarded, but i havent licked a window in at least two months.
11 - Shark
Duke, that wasn't necessarily aimed at you, but um... you did kinda like the movie:
"...It's a bit shallow, a tad overlong, and really, lose the motherfucking Nazi's, but it's still a superior blockbuster with enough heart to justify the occasional lapses in taste or narrative."
Shallow? Overlong? Lose the main drive of the 'plot'?
But it's a superior blockbuster?
Jeesus. What does it take for you to NOT like a movie? What's your friggin' criteria, man?
Oh, wait -- "jawdropping" effects.
No plot.
No characters.
Just jawdropping effects.
hell, you can get that with any commercial on TV.
For free!
Shark's
12 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Shark, PMSL
I guess it just won me over is all, it had a lot of heart, and it didn't feel cynical or calculated to me. It just seemed like a hell of a lot of fun, and really, it was the imagery that won me over in the end. I still say that final scene has some of the most arresting fantasy imagery in a mainstream film in a long time.
I guess its like spiderman. It didn't have much plot going on besides Pete tryin to find himself and what not, and the villain was fairly crud (not to take anything away from willem dafoes energetic gurning) but overall the thing was so much damn fun that you came away with a smile on your face, or at least i did, anyhow.
I just liked the damn thing, man, but that don't mean its flawless. I mean, shit, i think Amytiville II is amazing. What the hell do i know?