I would've roared and clapped and hollered, but I heard the fella a bit behind me attempt to start some applause, and I could feel the cynical patronizing sneers scourging his guts out, so I didn't. But I felt it too, man. I wanted to cheer right alongside you. Was it because I really thought the flick was more cheer-worthy than, say, The Woodsman, or was it because folks don't cheer at The Woodsman regardless of its quality, they cheer at Star Wars? Didn't you see the documentaries with the fucker out Happy Days yacking about "Wow, gee howdy, first time I saw Star Wars I cheered myself blue in the balls alright"?
But know that I would've cheered, had I been in a roomful of similar cheerers, and not just one cheerer a bit behind me who, it must be said, offered only a half-hearted kinda apologetic slap of the palms, and not really much of a cheer at all.
But regardless of their outward apathy, I knew everybody here was as enraptured as me, even the fellas outside who were yacking about "He should've had someone better than General Grievous. Maybe the black and white one from The Clone Wars" and the other fella said "The woman?" and the first fella said "No, no, the black and white one". I suppressed the desire to scream "She was a fucking woman! Just accept that the coolest Sith motherfucker in The Clone Wars was a woman, you chauvinist hound! Your patriarchal fantasies are crashing around your feet at this very minute, I dare say!" Even those fellas, I knew, adored every second.
And I had a big grin on my face like the grin a man might grin when leaving a brothel at four in the morning high on the whiskey-cracks and shagged delirious, except even better, since, most likely, I wouldn't wake up with a headful of suicidal torment and a void to the south of the soul.
Episode VI - Attack Of Insomnia
Thing is, I didn't wake up at all, since I didn't sleep, since my head decided I'd had plenty sleep these past few years, so fuck it, I'll just do a whole shit-load of really noisy thinking while you toss an turn in some sleep-starved fever.
Before this though, text messages had to be sent.
"General Grievous was amazing!" I announced to some folks. "I coulda watched that bouncy cunt all night!"
Thoughts were forming in all sortsa weird shapes and sizes. Thoughts that needed some sort of perspective, and so I immediately read the spoiler-heavy reviews I'd avoided until now. The thoughts of Kevin Smith, for example, or Harry and Moriarty from off Ain't It Cool. The thoughts of the legions of Blogcritics who've reviewed the flick. All sortsa thoughts and feelings, and, with a few exceptions flung screaming to the fires of Fuck You, everyone seemed to be saying shit like "This is the best of the prequel trilogy, no messing."
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Article comments
1 - Bennett
Stunned silence, like at the end of a great Cyrano.
"Skinny arsehole I see. Bumping around, it is. Not long it took."
:-]
Thanks, for all of it, Duke.
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
heh, thanks Bennet. god, this is very long-winded.
3 - Bennett
Yeah, you really let the fingers fly, hell, they damn near migrated south!
Did you catch my post on Simple Tasteful Nudes? I ask because, even in your abruptly single state of mind, a bit more torture won't kill you.
A gal they had up three days ago damn near broke my heart, so pretty she was.
Enjoy!
4 - Eric Olsen
Duker, a novel in "review" form, a walk through our very civilization at the near-beginning of the 21st century; a series of guffaws, chortles, belly-laughs, and snickers, interspersed a with slight welling of moisture in empathy with the profound sadness and death-grief without the satisfaction of death to support it.
I swear to God you will get over this woman, and she never appreciated you anyway.
I think I WILL go see the flick this weekend.
5 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
EO, thank you. I'm glad you dug it. I was a bit unsure about posting it to be honest, it is really very long-winded and self-absorbed.
And you MUST go see it this weekend. Society would stand for nothing less, i'd wager.
And Bennett, i can scarsely thank you enough for alerting me to said post. Excellently written, it was, too. And obviously welcome in these trying times...
6 - Mark Saleski
i will balance out society by not seeing this movie this weekend.
or ever.
oh, and duke, we count on you to be long-winded and self-absorbed.
7 - Mat
My lord, Duke, the length. The Length!
I've had sex in less time than it took me to read that.
I've read Tolstoy in less time.
Ok, so there were a good number of chuckles, a lot of big smiles, and a couple of hearty guffaws too.
Truth be known I just skimmed the cliff notes on Tolstoy. And I've had sex in less time than it takes to read a haiku.
8 - Eric Berlin
Duke, I've been holding off on reading this sure masterpiece as I've not yet seen the latest S Wars. I actually sat through the entirety of Attack of the Clones on network TV, no less, in prep... but it looks like it will be at least several days.
Anyway, just glancing through the comments makes me want to see the damned thing so I can get to the main course right here at the old BC stomping grounds...
9 - Temple Stark
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