The last one I accidentally said out loud, but no fucker paid attention, or if they did hear, they pretended they didn't, terrified out their very skulls no doubt.
Above all, though, I just kept thinking how much fun this was. I went to see Phantom Menace more times than enough, but after one and a half viewings, it became more of a chore than anything borne out a desire to see the flick. You had to see it a million times, man, and if your mate's brother saw it a million and one, then nothing less than three billion would suffice.
This here, though, I'll come back to plenty, I decided. And cause I want to. Cause despite the shitty banter, there's just too much great, great stuff here, too many bursts of glorious eye-watering wackiness, too many brilliant characters, brilliant designs, brilliant set-pieces, brilliant moments of silence followed by brilliant screeches of cacophonous abandon.
And look how much plot's packed in here, would you ever for a damn second? The Phantom Menace tried to convince folks it was complicated just by having loads a scenes where folks talk for hours about a loada half-arsed balls. How much story was there? About a page, and it fucking sucked, I might add.
Here, you can't move for story. Don't turn that corner, you Sith bastard, there's gonna be more story waiting round there than I could hope to deal with in this state. Every road these bastards take, story story story. Folks trip over the damn story. Where'd all this damn story come from alla damn sudden, they're saying. Last six hours there ain't been nothing resembling a story, suddenly I can't raise my right nut without hitting a story the size a Canada.
All sortsa shit's goin' on - Political scheming, rebellions, war (or "War!" as the opening scrawl has it), Order 66, pregnancies, temptation, violence every which motherfucking way.
And it's sad, too. There's a bit where Anakin and Padme are just sitting in silence, contemplating the enormity of some shit or other, and a fella couldn't help but feel moved by it all. Plus, the longer he kept his face shut, the less chance there'd be that he'd find time to start comparing her to sand.
"You're not like sand, Padme. I hate that gosh-darn sand."
""Fuck the sand, bastard. You're supposed to be seducing me. Sand talk don't do a damn thing, 'cept make me dryer than the fucking desert it came from."
And that's without mentioning all these motifs and themes and visual asides that bring it that bit closer to A New Hope. Certain sets, certain costumes, certain characters.
Article comments
1 - Bennett
Stunned silence, like at the end of a great Cyrano.
"Skinny arsehole I see. Bumping around, it is. Not long it took."
:-]
Thanks, for all of it, Duke.
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
heh, thanks Bennet. god, this is very long-winded.
3 - Bennett
Yeah, you really let the fingers fly, hell, they damn near migrated south!
Did you catch my post on Simple Tasteful Nudes? I ask because, even in your abruptly single state of mind, a bit more torture won't kill you.
A gal they had up three days ago damn near broke my heart, so pretty she was.
Enjoy!
4 - Eric Olsen
Duker, a novel in "review" form, a walk through our very civilization at the near-beginning of the 21st century; a series of guffaws, chortles, belly-laughs, and snickers, interspersed a with slight welling of moisture in empathy with the profound sadness and death-grief without the satisfaction of death to support it.
I swear to God you will get over this woman, and she never appreciated you anyway.
I think I WILL go see the flick this weekend.
5 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
EO, thank you. I'm glad you dug it. I was a bit unsure about posting it to be honest, it is really very long-winded and self-absorbed.
And you MUST go see it this weekend. Society would stand for nothing less, i'd wager.
And Bennett, i can scarsely thank you enough for alerting me to said post. Excellently written, it was, too. And obviously welcome in these trying times...
6 - Mark Saleski
i will balance out society by not seeing this movie this weekend.
or ever.
oh, and duke, we count on you to be long-winded and self-absorbed.
7 - Mat
My lord, Duke, the length. The Length!
I've had sex in less time than it took me to read that.
I've read Tolstoy in less time.
Ok, so there were a good number of chuckles, a lot of big smiles, and a couple of hearty guffaws too.
Truth be known I just skimmed the cliff notes on Tolstoy. And I've had sex in less time than it takes to read a haiku.
8 - Eric Berlin
Duke, I've been holding off on reading this sure masterpiece as I've not yet seen the latest S Wars. I actually sat through the entirety of Attack of the Clones on network TV, no less, in prep... but it looks like it will be at least several days.
Anyway, just glancing through the comments makes me want to see the damned thing so I can get to the main course right here at the old BC stomping grounds...
9 - Temple Stark
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