Whatever the fuck it is, you can be sure it delivers no kind of kick to the adrenaline pipes that's in any way comparable to the sheer fucking delight that drips from a fella's hairline as the Sacred Threesome batters the screen for a couple minutes of unbridled wondrous wonder.
1 - "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…"
2 - Boom! Williams' score, big yellow Star Wars. Fucking hell!
3 - Episode Whatever - Some Kooky Title. A scrawl all about "The trade federation" and "Rebellion" and "Silly pony-tails".
These three events, springing gainst the eyes a couple seconds after one another, they instil in the heart the kinda warmth that even two hours-worth of gungans and bastard mop-headed pod-racers can't entirely destroy.
Seeing it in this damn cinema, knowing it's the last time I'll see it for the first time, knowing that there probably won't be any mop-headed "Yippee!" fuckers or much Jar-Jar to worry about, the thrill is close to the kinda thing that has a fella smiling the kinda smile that stretches four faces on either side.
Episode III, it says. Revenge Of The Sith.
I would've grabbed the hand of the fella sitting next to me but most likely he'd have stabbed me in the face with a fountain pen.
Around this point, y'see, a momentary melancholy descended 'pon my form. Here it is, man, the last Star Wars flick of all ever, or at least till they realize how much money they'd make from an Episode VII, here it is right here, look, just in front there, you can't miss it. Here it is, and here's The Duke, sat with folks he not only doesn't know, but probably would have trouble even devising some filthy fantasy about, with no hand for to hold or shoulder for to navigate in sneaky pursuit of The Chestal Area. Sat here lovelorn and lust-crazed and yet very obviously alone. You pathetic wretch, I could hear folks thinking about saying, except they couldn't, cause look, "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…"
But fuck it. Who can think about the soul-crushing nature of mandatory masturbation when Episode III's busy introducing itself to the room?
Those words up there have a power, is the truth of the matter. For a certain type, in a certain situation, with certain hopes and notions and dreams, those words soon sweep any amount of mental hubris out the damn road.
"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…"
Article comments
1 - Bennett
Stunned silence, like at the end of a great Cyrano.
"Skinny arsehole I see. Bumping around, it is. Not long it took."
:-]
Thanks, for all of it, Duke.
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
heh, thanks Bennet. god, this is very long-winded.
3 - Bennett
Yeah, you really let the fingers fly, hell, they damn near migrated south!
Did you catch my post on Simple Tasteful Nudes? I ask because, even in your abruptly single state of mind, a bit more torture won't kill you.
A gal they had up three days ago damn near broke my heart, so pretty she was.
Enjoy!
4 - Eric Olsen
Duker, a novel in "review" form, a walk through our very civilization at the near-beginning of the 21st century; a series of guffaws, chortles, belly-laughs, and snickers, interspersed a with slight welling of moisture in empathy with the profound sadness and death-grief without the satisfaction of death to support it.
I swear to God you will get over this woman, and she never appreciated you anyway.
I think I WILL go see the flick this weekend.
5 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
EO, thank you. I'm glad you dug it. I was a bit unsure about posting it to be honest, it is really very long-winded and self-absorbed.
And you MUST go see it this weekend. Society would stand for nothing less, i'd wager.
And Bennett, i can scarsely thank you enough for alerting me to said post. Excellently written, it was, too. And obviously welcome in these trying times...
6 - Mark Saleski
i will balance out society by not seeing this movie this weekend.
or ever.
oh, and duke, we count on you to be long-winded and self-absorbed.
7 - Mat
My lord, Duke, the length. The Length!
I've had sex in less time than it took me to read that.
I've read Tolstoy in less time.
Ok, so there were a good number of chuckles, a lot of big smiles, and a couple of hearty guffaws too.
Truth be known I just skimmed the cliff notes on Tolstoy. And I've had sex in less time than it takes to read a haiku.
8 - Eric Berlin
Duke, I've been holding off on reading this sure masterpiece as I've not yet seen the latest S Wars. I actually sat through the entirety of Attack of the Clones on network TV, no less, in prep... but it looks like it will be at least several days.
Anyway, just glancing through the comments makes me want to see the damned thing so I can get to the main course right here at the old BC stomping grounds...
9 - Temple Stark
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