All a man needs is a night's sleep, and then tomorrow I'll go catch that Star Wars by the hair of the arse and demand that it pleasure me in ways unimaginable to even the most depraved of civil servants. Penetrate orifices I didn't even know I had, I'll be demanding.
Still, 3 am turns to 4 am, like that bit in Phantom Of Liberty when the fella's seeing ducks and emus and postmen walking through the bedroom, and every time he looks over at the clock, an hour has miraculously passed.
I found myself wishing I lived near a cathedral, one of the cathedrals that still batter the fuck out the bells on the hour every hour, adding some sort of grandeur to this depressing scene. Or maybe a flat just off Princes Street in Edinburgh, so I could hear the cannons being fired from the castle.
Maybe I could go investigate those winding alleys in the late-night fog, maybe even get murdered by a motherfucker with a handlebar moustache and a top hat?
What it says on the box of sleep-enhancers I end up fondling for the second time, is One A Night. Do Not Exceed Stated Dose You Junkie Bastard. Go Get A Real Habit, Would You Ever? I've already swallowed two and a half, and a handful of useless herbal offerings for variety, and now I'm poking through the leaflets and foil trying to find the other half.
Fuck knows where it's gone, so I just take another full one.
Might as well have shoved my nuts in a pint of buttermilk, for all the sleep enhancing these fuckers did.
Having slept not an ounce, but feeling slightly re-energized on account of Billy Bragg singing about "You're a dedicated follower of fascism!" and a bit of Ryan Adams talking about "Tennessee's a brother to my sister Carolina, where they're gonna bury me" I end up standing in line at Burger King with Sir Fleming, head of Mondo Guerrilla Marketing, listening to a couple Scottish bikers who had obviously just seen Star Wars Episode III.
"I have them all at home", one of them announces, "But I don't like the episodes."
He means the prequels. Who the fuck calls them "The episodes"? Who, barring this man-mountain etched in leather and steel, this motorcycle maniac who no-one would ever dream of contradicting?
"Fuck those episodes!" I shouted, just in case he thought maybe I had thoughts along the lines of "Fuck your episode talk."
Turned out Sir Fleming was attending a screening of Star Wars on this very eve, being the Thursday. He was psyched. He had the look of a man who knew he was gonna be seeing some Jedi sonsabitches get slaughtered the fuck up.
Article comments
1 - Bennett
Stunned silence, like at the end of a great Cyrano.
"Skinny arsehole I see. Bumping around, it is. Not long it took."
:-]
Thanks, for all of it, Duke.
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
heh, thanks Bennet. god, this is very long-winded.
3 - Bennett
Yeah, you really let the fingers fly, hell, they damn near migrated south!
Did you catch my post on Simple Tasteful Nudes? I ask because, even in your abruptly single state of mind, a bit more torture won't kill you.
A gal they had up three days ago damn near broke my heart, so pretty she was.
Enjoy!
4 - Eric Olsen
Duker, a novel in "review" form, a walk through our very civilization at the near-beginning of the 21st century; a series of guffaws, chortles, belly-laughs, and snickers, interspersed a with slight welling of moisture in empathy with the profound sadness and death-grief without the satisfaction of death to support it.
I swear to God you will get over this woman, and she never appreciated you anyway.
I think I WILL go see the flick this weekend.
5 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
EO, thank you. I'm glad you dug it. I was a bit unsure about posting it to be honest, it is really very long-winded and self-absorbed.
And you MUST go see it this weekend. Society would stand for nothing less, i'd wager.
And Bennett, i can scarsely thank you enough for alerting me to said post. Excellently written, it was, too. And obviously welcome in these trying times...
6 - Mark Saleski
i will balance out society by not seeing this movie this weekend.
or ever.
oh, and duke, we count on you to be long-winded and self-absorbed.
7 - Mat
My lord, Duke, the length. The Length!
I've had sex in less time than it took me to read that.
I've read Tolstoy in less time.
Ok, so there were a good number of chuckles, a lot of big smiles, and a couple of hearty guffaws too.
Truth be known I just skimmed the cliff notes on Tolstoy. And I've had sex in less time than it takes to read a haiku.
8 - Eric Berlin
Duke, I've been holding off on reading this sure masterpiece as I've not yet seen the latest S Wars. I actually sat through the entirety of Attack of the Clones on network TV, no less, in prep... but it looks like it will be at least several days.
Anyway, just glancing through the comments makes me want to see the damned thing so I can get to the main course right here at the old BC stomping grounds...
9 - Temple Stark
Blogcritics' editors liked this one. It's a pick of the week. Congrats. Put the news up proudly on your site.
Here's a link to the rest of this week's picks