For a fella keen on the wonders of Star Wars, Episode III was just the tonic for a head hung low with the weight of unrequited love and mental unraveling and crushing monotony.
I lay there for ages, till at least 11:15 in the AM, looking at the ceiling, until those two suns or moons showed up right the fuck there, although it might've been a couple spiders I couldn't help but destroy a few nights ago.
Freud said spiders were vaginal creatures. I couldn't have two vaginas crawling about the roof, not at that hour of the night, not with a fella already deranged with frantic lust.
I think I slept for an hour or two shortly after noon.
Episode I - Cute Noses And A Lack Of Purpose
Burnt out, man. The Duke was feelin' burnt out as a Volkswagen hotwired by a buncha skag-riddled teenagers, driven out to a country lane and doused in petrol, and maybe they even burned themselves rotten whilst fumbling with the lighters in their heroin stupor. That blackened cage in the middle of that shitty field, I identified some with the metaphorical fucker, no doubt.
I tried opening Microsoft Word no end of times, tried for to wax some sort of hilarious fuck-laced rant of some kind about maybe Sin City or The Long Weekend, but that white screen, it grabbed a fella by the ears every time and pounded my head into the monitor until I passed out slavering all over the keyboard.
I woke up with QWERTY printed cross my head, like the time I fell asleep drunk in Technical College and woke up with half the front-page of The Sun peering from my jaw.
The only thing a fella could do was witter endlessly to a lass in the unfortunate position of having snared The Duke's affections somewhat.
"Sweet fuckery", I'd announce, "It would appear to me, at this hour, that I can no longer function in any way shape or form, not one word will leave my fingers, not one paragraph about a flick I maybe saw but fuck that, here's a buncha self-obsessed wank for to think about instead, and also, here's a motherfucker or twenty."
But dig this, would you ever. Star Wars would be out shortly, the last ever Star Wars flick, would you believe, the last of these prequels everyone harps on about, this series of flicks that get folks in all sortsa tizzies about "You're raping my childhood, cunt-beard" and so on in the message boards and the forums.
Article comments
1 - Bennett
Stunned silence, like at the end of a great Cyrano.
"Skinny arsehole I see. Bumping around, it is. Not long it took."
:-]
Thanks, for all of it, Duke.
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
heh, thanks Bennet. god, this is very long-winded.
3 - Bennett
Yeah, you really let the fingers fly, hell, they damn near migrated south!
Did you catch my post on Simple Tasteful Nudes? I ask because, even in your abruptly single state of mind, a bit more torture won't kill you.
A gal they had up three days ago damn near broke my heart, so pretty she was.
Enjoy!
4 - Eric Olsen
Duker, a novel in "review" form, a walk through our very civilization at the near-beginning of the 21st century; a series of guffaws, chortles, belly-laughs, and snickers, interspersed a with slight welling of moisture in empathy with the profound sadness and death-grief without the satisfaction of death to support it.
I swear to God you will get over this woman, and she never appreciated you anyway.
I think I WILL go see the flick this weekend.
5 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
EO, thank you. I'm glad you dug it. I was a bit unsure about posting it to be honest, it is really very long-winded and self-absorbed.
And you MUST go see it this weekend. Society would stand for nothing less, i'd wager.
And Bennett, i can scarsely thank you enough for alerting me to said post. Excellently written, it was, too. And obviously welcome in these trying times...
6 - Mark Saleski
i will balance out society by not seeing this movie this weekend.
or ever.
oh, and duke, we count on you to be long-winded and self-absorbed.
7 - Mat
My lord, Duke, the length. The Length!
I've had sex in less time than it took me to read that.
I've read Tolstoy in less time.
Ok, so there were a good number of chuckles, a lot of big smiles, and a couple of hearty guffaws too.
Truth be known I just skimmed the cliff notes on Tolstoy. And I've had sex in less time than it takes to read a haiku.
8 - Eric Berlin
Duke, I've been holding off on reading this sure masterpiece as I've not yet seen the latest S Wars. I actually sat through the entirety of Attack of the Clones on network TV, no less, in prep... but it looks like it will be at least several days.
Anyway, just glancing through the comments makes me want to see the damned thing so I can get to the main course right here at the old BC stomping grounds...
9 - Temple Stark
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