Episode IV - Holy Shit, It's Bucky O' Hare
Let me tell you this nonsense right the hell here for the price of nothing more than a second of your time. The idea that it would take almost two days of general release before The Duke done got sat in front a cinema screen showing Star Wars Episode III is so far beyond the realms of the unthinkable that it almost becomes thinkable again, but in a kind of weird fever-dream parallel universe sorta way. It's the sorta thing you would put down on a list that has, at numbers 1 and 3 respectively, Having Sex With A Yak Without Realizing and Sawing My Head Off For The Hilarity Of It All.
It's the kinda shit ain't in no way or no how ever gonna be occurring in a fella's day-to-day, that's for damn sure.
If you asked me if I'd be sat in a theater seeing Star Wars Episode III at 8:25 PM on the Friday, knowing that I could've seen it at midnight on the Wednesday of the same week, if you'd have said "So what's the chances you'll be at that Friday screening?" I'd have cut your eyes out with a witty retort along the lines of "The fuck would I be there for? I'd already have seen it seven times, no sense being there on a Friday evening, the most wretched of all cinema-going evenings, when there ain't no school the next morning, so anything vaguely "kiddie-friendly" is privy to any number of vanloads of sugar-doped pre-adolescents, straight from the bowling alley and the McBurger King and whacked to fuck on giddy mania."
Not that I'm one a these sour sonsabitches who wanna moan about kids seeing flicks. Let them eat their popcorn, man. Let them point when something spectacular appears onscreen. Let them scream at the bits where maybe the cannibals eat the fellas ribs, and let the parents argue about "It wasn't my fucking idea, I hadn't even seen the poster!" Let them chortle and point and go "wow!"
Just that sometimes a man's mood doesn't quite welcome this kinda tomfoolery.
Mind you, there are times when a man's mood can, in fact, be lifted immeasurably by such antics, and he finds himself getting swept up in the kiddie dementia sweeping across the audience like some caffeine an' chocolate coated veil of insanity.
But for something along the lines of Star Wars Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith, a man needs a contemplative air, for the first 12-15 viewings, anyway. He needs folks stroking their chins, not mad possessed youngsters screaming and puking and raising all sortsa hellish bastardry.
"Get the fuck off my forehead", you find yourself having to holler. "He's turning, sweet Jesus, he's turning, and there's a ten-year-old with Satan in his smile tearing my motherfucking eyes out!"
But anyway, owing to a buncha balls, I ended up seeing Star Wars Episode III for the first time on just such a Friday evening, almost two days after it had gone on general release. The fuck kinda voodoo leads to this sorta bullshit, you're thinking? All sortsa voodoo, to be related via a hotly debated prequel trilogy of some kind.
Article comments
1 - Bennett
Stunned silence, like at the end of a great Cyrano.
"Skinny arsehole I see. Bumping around, it is. Not long it took."
:-]
Thanks, for all of it, Duke.
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
heh, thanks Bennet. god, this is very long-winded.
3 - Bennett
Yeah, you really let the fingers fly, hell, they damn near migrated south!
Did you catch my post on Simple Tasteful Nudes? I ask because, even in your abruptly single state of mind, a bit more torture won't kill you.
A gal they had up three days ago damn near broke my heart, so pretty she was.
Enjoy!
4 - Eric Olsen
Duker, a novel in "review" form, a walk through our very civilization at the near-beginning of the 21st century; a series of guffaws, chortles, belly-laughs, and snickers, interspersed a with slight welling of moisture in empathy with the profound sadness and death-grief without the satisfaction of death to support it.
I swear to God you will get over this woman, and she never appreciated you anyway.
I think I WILL go see the flick this weekend.
5 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
EO, thank you. I'm glad you dug it. I was a bit unsure about posting it to be honest, it is really very long-winded and self-absorbed.
And you MUST go see it this weekend. Society would stand for nothing less, i'd wager.
And Bennett, i can scarsely thank you enough for alerting me to said post. Excellently written, it was, too. And obviously welcome in these trying times...
6 - Mark Saleski
i will balance out society by not seeing this movie this weekend.
or ever.
oh, and duke, we count on you to be long-winded and self-absorbed.
7 - Mat
My lord, Duke, the length. The Length!
I've had sex in less time than it took me to read that.
I've read Tolstoy in less time.
Ok, so there were a good number of chuckles, a lot of big smiles, and a couple of hearty guffaws too.
Truth be known I just skimmed the cliff notes on Tolstoy. And I've had sex in less time than it takes to read a haiku.
8 - Eric Berlin
Duke, I've been holding off on reading this sure masterpiece as I've not yet seen the latest S Wars. I actually sat through the entirety of Attack of the Clones on network TV, no less, in prep... but it looks like it will be at least several days.
Anyway, just glancing through the comments makes me want to see the damned thing so I can get to the main course right here at the old BC stomping grounds...
9 - Temple Stark
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