The Dating Experiment Experiment

(shameless plug for me)

ABC—the people who brought you such favorites as "The Bachelor" and "Extreme Makeover"—just aired the first episode of its new reality dating show: "The Dating Experiment."

Based on the successful Japanese reality series "The Future Diary," originally produced and developed by the Tokyo Broadcasting System, Inc., the premise of the show is not simple. Two strangers volunteer to be whisked away from their homes, friends and credit cards to "an exotic locale" (in this case, far-off, foreign San Francisco), where their lives will effectively be run by a mysterious red journal (and a hidden director, a trailing camera crew, craft services, hair and make-up people). They will be put in awkward situations to see if love can withstand the forces that only seem to affect Harrison Ford and Anne Heche when they are stranded on a desert island.

Still following?

Remarkably, it's exactly this strategy that makes the first episode almost charming. It almost redeems the evilness that is reality television. Almost. More on that later.

Our two contestants—ahem, I mean participants—are Morgan, a clean-cut, all-American-type bartender from Seattle; and Shy, a misnomered, guarded, tough-girl bartender from the mean streets of Houston. Think Catherine Keener in "Full Frontal." In fact, she looks quite a lot like her. Deliberate? Maybe, maybe not.

Their first meeting starts on the romantic island of...hold your breath now...Alcatraz. That's right, Alcatraz. Where they end up missing the last ferry after making bad first impressions and now have to spend the night. And then they are forced to be separated. After much whining and crankiness, the camera crew catches Morgan spooning Shy protectively as they catch a few hours of sleep on the prison floor.

The next day, presumably to make up for the really bad first date nightmare in jail, the "couple" are treated to a day of luxury. But what's a reality show without a few crowbars in the wheels? Whilst getting massaged, pedicured and hot-tubbed, a handsome "concierge" continues to interupt their attempts at heating things up. Shy ultimately figures out that this guy is a ploy, but only after her and Morgan are abruptly parted by the mysterious red diary.

Let me just point out that the mysterious red diary is actually just a series of red vinyl bound notebooks delivered to the pair, with detailed instructions on their every next move.

Date number three finds Shy and Morgan doing what they know best: bartending. After getting past the initial shock of a girl that actually talks about things besides shoes, Morgan is starting to warm up to the hot but mildly unpleasant Shy. He is forced to tell her on stage, in front of dozens of strangers, that he likes her big lips and big teeth and nice rack. It's an attempt to be sweet, but in retrospect, Shy assumes he's only interested in her big...teeth. Their snogging on the dance-floor doesn't seem to bother her too much. And then...a journal arrives, separating them again. Not before Morgan comes back for a little more tongue action.

Date number four: Skydiving. That's right. What's more romantic than being flown a few miles up and jumping out of a plane, tied to a complete stranger? I can't think of anything.

Back on the ground, they pair discover that their ride has been towed and they will have to bike it if they want to get back to The Bay. Only, there's just one bike with a big ol' wooden hitch attached to it. Morgan valiantly agrees to peddle, while Shy waxes philosophical on the fine line between Chivalry and Chauvenism. Remarkably, she comes up with the completely original idea that Chivalry is only Chauvenism that works in her favor. Ok then, give the lady a prize. Or would that be condescending and chauvenistic?

Article Author: Amber Grapestain

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