2004 Oscar Diary
To start, a few ground rules: We will keep a running tally of how many awards Lord of the Rings wins; on my ballot, it's got nine.
Also, I will continue my long-running policy of not talking about what people wear, except for two exceptions: to point out females who look uncommonly hot, and to point out people of either gender who look laughably ridiculous.
And what's the over/under on Janet's boob jokes, and/or lesbian kiss jokes?
Here we go:
8:30: We start with Sean Connery. "Suck It, Trebek."
8:32: Time for the Billy Crystal-in-the-movies montage- he's a lot better at these than Steve Martin or Whoopi would've been. Billy as Golem, that's cute - and Weinsteins-as-Orcs, that's even better. Crystal dragging out his Sammy Davis, Jr. after two decades is enough to make me forgive the appearance by Michael Moore.
Still, it would've been nice if they'd gone with my idea of letting Bill Kristol host, or at least given him and Crystal a song-and-dance number together.
8:37: The musical monologue. Does Crystal look any different today than he did in City Slickers? LOTR had "11 nominations- one for each ending" - hah.
I don't know how Crystal resisted the urge to set the Mystic River song to "Moon River." And the Seabiscuit's-head-in-someone's-bed joke sort of wrote itself, didn't it?
8:48: The orchestra this evening is conducted by Marc Shaiman who wrote, among other songs, "Blame Canada," "Uncle Fucka," and "What Would Brian Boitano Do?"
8:49: Best Supporting Actor time - and it's Tim Robbins. After a clip was shown of the most nonsensical scene of the movie, in which his previously dumb-as-rocks character suddenly becomes smart and calculating. In the speech, Robbins reaches out to victims of child molestation, rather than bash Bush; Robbins may practice cockamamie politics, but he's a very talented actor and director, and I'm proud of him for finally winning.
9:00: LOTR wins Best Art Direction (1)
9:03: Crystal starts into "Quien Es Mas Macho," providing further grist for those nostalgiac for the Saturday Night Live of 1982. Then Robin Williams appears and makes the second Janet joke of the evening; there was one in Crystal's song.
9:06: Finding Nemo wins Best Animated Feature. I liked the beginning and end, though the middle dragged a bit, and Ellen bugged me.
Article comments
1 - Al Barger
Mitch and Mickey and "A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow" were ROBBED!
I'd like to SMACK the academy for giving the best song award to that crappy Annie Lennox thing. It was the worst excuse for a song all night. Just anything attached to LOTR got the nod. Hell, I'd give an Oscar to Billy Crystal's parody of Ol' Man River before that.
2 - Jonathan
Good, there will be no nerd riots this year.
Hurray for LOTR!
3 - Eric Olsen
Thanks Steve, we needed this.
A few thoughts: Billy Crystal was a good host and kept things very loose, but he looks like shit - he's fat and his face is falling apart.
LOTR swept as recognition of the series as a whole: coordinating such a momumental task and having it hang together at worst, and be inspired for long stretches (though not much in TROTK) is something all of Hollywood can appreciate and marvel at. That and the popularity.
I agree the Mighty Wind tune was both a dead-on parody and a great song - very Spinal Tap in its ability to do both.
I want to see Lost in Translation and A Mighty Wind - DVD purchases await.
The broadcast was entertaining although not very exciting with the LOTR juggernaut.
The running joke of the evening was all of the LOTR winners thanking New Zealanders, where there are more sheep than people.
The clothing was very traditional and elegant - it looks like Joan Rivers really has had an effect.
4 - Craig Lyndall
I thought the song from A Mighty Wind was good, but I am a sucker for Annie Lennox. I really love pretty much anything she does.
Although I was critical of Billy Crystal he really did pull it off.
Also, Jack Black and Will Ferrell were a complete riot with their song parody of the bump music when speeches go on too long. I was really surprised that they did that at one of the more uptight events of the year.
5 - Tom
I discussed my thoughts on LOTR here
Basically I didn't play Magic: The Gathering, and I actually had a prom date, so I didn't get LOTR.
6 - chelseagirl
Enjoyed your rundown v. much. I agree that t was a bit weird of Bill to recycle old SNL material.
But I believe Elvis Costello and T-Bone Burnett wrote Scarlett Tide. Sting wrote the _other_ Cold Mountain song -- "My Ain True LOve". Allison Krauss sang both so fabulously.