Star Wars Attack of the Clones

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I liken this movie to viewing 2 ½ hours of C-Span. There was something about clones, but since I wasn’t paying much attention I couldn’t tell ya whose side they were on. Yoda insisted on talking like a dyslexic. There was a love interest plot. Bless Natalie Portman’s heart; she tried her best at salvaging this flop. Ewan McGregor seemed rather sullen over starring in a movie that won’t allow him to show his penis. Samuel L. Jackson constantly had his head in his hands realizing his shame over agreeing to this movie. The bad guy also happened to be the bad guy from the Lord of the Rings and he had to hop in a transport to finish filming the trilogy.

The good news about this movie? JarJar Binks had much less air time – if you closed yours eyes, plugged your ears and ignored him, he’d eventually go away. It would seem George Lucas actually made a wise decision in switching the comic relief back to the gay robots.

Still if you must watch this movie I recommend Xanax coupled with copious amounts of tequila.

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Article comments

  • 1 - TylerNewton

    May 26, 2005 at 4:12 am

    Yes, the movie stinks.

    BUT WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING WATCHING THE FULL SCREEN VERSION?

    At least watch it OAR (original aspect ratio).

    Last sunday FOX had it on in HD. Looked and sounded WONDERFUL, even though the movie is still sux.

    Get a clue: STOP WATCHING FULL SCREEN CROPPED "PAN AND SCAN" GARBAGE. Watch it OAR (original aspect ratio). THAT'S THE WAY IT IS INTENDED TO BE SEEN.

  • 2 - Brooke Lee

    May 26, 2005 at 8:03 am

    I did watch it on Fox; doesn't that make sense as this opinion coincides with its first network television airing?

    This sites needs one of them lil number thingies from Amazon for each post and this was the first one I saw.

    Not sure what crawled up your ass, but I bet it tickles.

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