For the first time in nearly 20 years, we are living in a time without Star Trek. No movies are planned and no series are currently in production. Some Trek fans are still fighting to bring Enterprise back but honestly, Star Trek has been slowly dying since The Next Generation went off the air in ’94 and Enterprise was like seeing TNG after it had suffered a stroke. We should be glad it’s out of its misery and hope that one day it will be resurrected. Until that day comes though, we should honor the good days we had with Star Trek. Do that on your own time though, because right now I am here to piss on its grave. Join me as I explain, series-by-series, the inevitable downfall of Star Trek.
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Let me start at the highest point in Trek’s life. The Next Generation was the Golden Age of Star Trek. Some will argue that the original series is better. Those people, however, cannot debate me because their loyalty to their first generation IBM computers prevents them from logging on to the Internet. TNG took everything good about the original series, improved upon it, and delivered it in a sleeker package.
Those who would argue that the clunky charm of the original is what makes it better, I have to advise you to call your doctor. Chances are that your cell phone from 1985, that’s the size of a small dog, has probably given you a brain tumor. Here you can borrow my RAZR phone. Okay, I’m just kidding…I can’t afford a RAZR. Seriously though, call your doctor.
I love the original series. I just can’t stand it when people argue something is better simply because they are loyal to what came first.
Now what made TNG so good? If I had to give a one-sentence answer I would say that it struck the perfect balance between the exploration-of-the-unknown plots and galactic politics to create an engaging universe that was both exciting and wholly immersive. If I had to give a thirty-seven sentence answer I’d say the show’s success was due in large part to…
The Crew
Cap’n Picard – It has nothing to do with my man-crush for him. Picard was a shiny dome of wisdom and charisma. He commanded his crew with strength and understanding and a strong English brogue. He shows that while his resolve is strong, he is also very vulnerable and you want to be the one to cradle his head in your lap and show him that you won’t take advantage of that vulnerability. Hang on; I need to take my medication.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Nick, you left one name out of this whole mess of a review - Roddenberry. When Gene Roddenbery died, so did the series. The creative vision behind the concept was gone. You could have saved yourself a whole load of paragraphs by writing that one sentence. The more I read your review, the more obvious it became to me.
I do not have any trouble blaming Berman for the fate of the series - though my family left the States before the last forgettable series hit the airwaves.
That was one long piss you took on the Star Trek mausoleum. I hope your kidneys felt relieved afterwards.
2 - Chris Beaumont
I hven't read the whole thing, but I will say that the last 3-4 years of DS9 were excellent, and the last season of Enterprise is stands as one of the finest of any Trek series.
There have been rumblings of another film early in the concept phase....
3 - Nicholas Bowman
I agree Chris. I did give props to DS9. And I believe the few positive episodes from Enterprise I mentioned were from the last season, so I think we are on the same page.
4 - Stephen V Funk
I don't have a cell phone. I also don't have a brain tumor, as far as I know.
I do have a computer, however, and I can log onto the internet... so I'm taking this opportunity to say that the Star Trek original series is better than The Next Generation. Much better.
Bye.
5 - Nicholas Bowman
Stephen..Stevie...Steve...Aren't you at least going to tell me why you think the original is better? Is it the camp factor? I like it too but when I try to be objective about it, I don't see how it can be considered better than TNG in quality.
6 - B J
Watching Star Trek's various versions, I can't help that as I got older I became more critical of TV in general or merely tired of seeing the same old characters get out of the same problems time and again. Kirk talks down a galactic doomsday machine (a role made for Shatner, who leaves me rolling on the floor every time he lets you in on the joke; Picard is ingested by the baddest force in the universe, outwits them, returns to the Enterprise (perhaps he never knew the difference given character development) hardly worse for the wear; Hawk shaved his head and had potential to be the one member of Starfleet who's willing to tell any and all potential enemies to bring it on. And so on.
While sci-fi was growing up (Bab 5, Gallactica), Star Trek stayed true to a future that, if you look around yourself today in the real world, seems as out of date as flower power.
7 - Victor Lana
Nicholas, as you point out how important the "captain" is, there was never anyone like James Tiberius Kirk in the franchise.
Either the actor wanted to be like Kirk (Bakula as Archer seemed to be trying) or you get the other end and he/she tried to be the anti-Kirk (Stewart's Picard is most obvious).
Either way, despite the clunky sets, poor special effects, and Spock's plastic ears, I still believe that nothing else in the franchise came close to the original.
Live long and prosper!
8 - RogerMDillon
"For the first time in nearly 20 years, we are living in a time without Star Trek."
Amazing that a high-tech guy like yourself doesn't have cable. TNG & DS9 are on Spike, TOS is on G4 and Enterprise is syndicated. Although you proably get too tired from always having to get off the couch to change stations.
This extensive write-up could have been better served without the cool, conceited attitude that missteps with lame jokes as often as it succeeds.
9 - Nicholas Bowman
Victor: I watched a number of original series episodes on DVD and I felt I was looking past the special effects and clucky sets, but still through TNG had better, more complex plots for the most part.
Roger: I actually watch the reruns on all the cable networks. I was implying that we are without any "new" Star Trek. Also, I'm glad you liked half my jokes! ;)
10 - Tan The Man
Roddenberry's wife contributed a lot after Gene's death.
I think Star Trek is more about the human condition and DS9 was able to capture one section of the human condition that neither the OS or TNG explored too much: war. In current times, we might have needed that.
11 - Yar Fan
The one thing that Enterprise did well was Season Three, with the all-season-long story arc.
I came in half-way through Season Three -- essentially gave up on Enterprise in Year One 'cos I missed the 23rd Century -- and then simply had to know "what had gone before" - so downloaded the preceding episodes via BitTorrent. Even got my 11 year old son interested in watching it.
'Course, to make an extended story arc really work, you do need to offer past eps (legally) via Video On Demand. Hurry up, Paramount.
12 - Purple Tigress
What I liked about the original series was it had a sense of humor. It was sexist, but that was true for most series at that time.
Now, TNG had no excuse. The only active, thinking woman was killed off. She was also humorless as the captain. I did like Jordie and Data.
Didn't see much of Voyager, but at least they had a strong female figure, Janeway, and a central one at that. She was much more human and interesting than the asexual Picard.
13 - Lisa McKay
I was very fond of DS9 and was really sorry to see it end. The characters were much more nuanced than most other characters in the Trek-verse - more shades of grey to them, I think. The characters in the other series all seemed to wear black hats or white hats, but in DS9 they seemed much more like fully-realized people.
14 - Nicholas Bowman
Purple Tigress: Asexual like a fox!
15 - Jon Sobel
I really enjoyed this article. I don't agree with all your opinions, but it was entertaining to read and cracked me up in spots. (The repeated smokin'-Picard pic for example). You have to expect criticism - people are crazy-passionate about their Trek.
Anyone checked out New Voyages?
http://newvoyages.com/
16 - David Ellis
Enterprise was the first Star Trek series to do multiple episode story arcs? What about the whole six episode arc where the Dominion took over Deep Space Nine? And the what was it? 9 episode arc that finished the series, I believe the standing still aspect made DS9 the most dramatically satisfying Star Trek series and will remain my favourite, though I do hold a soft spot for Data, even if he was a Spock rip-off.
17 - Victor Lana
I know I liked the original Star Trek the best for its interaction between characters. I feel we got to know them well. Personally, I felt a distance to some of the cast members in the other incarnations. Maybe this is very telling, but I think Data was probably the character I cared about most from any other version.
Still, the original holds for me and I still love:
1. The Kirk leer (looking at a woman)
2. Kirk calling McCoy "Bones"
3. Kirk when he had a chance to be bad Kirk
4. Spock when he was happy to see Kirk alive and called him "Jim"
5. Bones when he was drunk on love on the fantasy planet
6. Scotty when he outdrank the alien
7. Sulu when he went nutso with a sword
8. Checkov when he was defending mother Russia
9. All the sexy alien girls who went for Kirk
And my favorite all time moment:
When Kirk kissed Uhura (that took *&^%$ in the 1960s). God bless Gene Roddenberry!
18 - Nicholas Bowman
Yeah the original does deserve praise. The main point of the article though was to show the declining quality from when it was most popular, and that was during The Next Generation. I can understand if some are disappointed that I paid no tribute to the original but my piece was long as it is, and the original series was disconnected from the rest of them, which all ran one right after the other.
Also, I am glad I gave people an opportunity to reminisce.
19 - Nicholas Bowman
Haha, I love how the news of a JJ Abrams directed Star Trek 11 is released the DAY after I write this. Its like Star Trek saw me pissing on its grave, rose like a zombie, and kicked my ass! We shall see if audiences can stomach younger actors portraying the sacred Spock and Kirk.
20 - Josh
Nicholas, I really enjoyed your article. When it all comes down to it, you hit the nail right on the head. What ever happened to Nicholas Meyer directing Trek movies? He was good. And I don't think that avid Trekkies will be able to take new people portraying Spock and Kirk.
21 - Purple Tigress
I agree with Victor.
And I won't even pretend to understand Bowman's comment.
Personally, I thought it was a shame that they covered up the eyes of the sexiest male crew member. But he was a two-fer--handicapped AND ethnic.
22 - Stephen V Funk
Star Trek XI... I thought maybe you were kidding, but then I found the info below online... I can't see how this movie could be anything but a total disaster... the fact that it's being directed by the guy who created "Lost" and "Alias" sure doesn't give me much hope... but who knows...
"J.J. Abrams has signed up to direct the next film in the Star Trek franchise.
The eleventh film in the series will focus on the formative years of James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock at Starfleet Academy, according to Variety. There is currently no word on who might play the characters made famous by William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy.
With his hugely popular creations Lost and Alias gathering a cult following and Mission: Impossible III receiving high praise from critics prior to its release, it may be that Abrams will breathe new life into the franchise. However, some fans may be unenthusiastic about the storyline exploring old ground.
Abrams will be joined by fellow Lost producers Damon Lindelof and Bryan Burk on the project, whilst his M:i:III writers Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci will pen the script with him.
Paramount are aiming for a 2008 release."
23 - Purple Tigress
They did it with Star Wars. It was only a matter of time before it happened with Star Trek.
24 - Stephen V Funk
As long as it's going to be a disaster anyway, they should let Shatner write and direct it instead. At least it would be more entertaining...
25 - Brent
"Enterprise" and "DS9" are the major illustration of what went wrong with the "Star Trek" franchise. Rick Berman & Brannon Braga had nothing to do with the day to day production of "DS9" and I'm prepared to contend that it was the best of the Trek series even if it didn't have the qualities you liked. Berman and Braga were in control of the first two and a half season of "Enterprise" and if the show had been cancelled after the second season no one would have been disappointed. The last half of the thrid season and the entire fourth season except for the series finally were run by Manny Cotto. Those episodes are regarded as the best of the series. But the series finale - the one with Troi and Riker - was one of the worst episodes of any version of Star Trek ever and it was written by Berman and Braga. Draw your own conclusions.