For the first time in nearly 20 years, we are living in a time without Star Trek. No movies are planned and no series are currently in production. Some Trek fans are still fighting to bring Enterprise back but honestly, Star Trek has been slowly dying since The Next Generation went off the air in ’94 and Enterprise was like seeing TNG after it had suffered a stroke. We should be glad it’s out of its misery and hope that one day it will be resurrected. Until that day comes though, we should honor the good days we had with Star Trek. Do that on your own time though, because right now I am here to piss on its grave. Join me as I explain, series-by-series, the inevitable downfall of Star Trek.
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Let me start at the highest point in Trek’s life. The Next Generation was the Golden Age of Star Trek. Some will argue that the original series is better. Those people, however, cannot debate me because their loyalty to their first generation IBM computers prevents them from logging on to the Internet. TNG took everything good about the original series, improved upon it, and delivered it in a sleeker package.
Those who would argue that the clunky charm of the original is what makes it better, I have to advise you to call your doctor. Chances are that your cell phone from 1985, that’s the size of a small dog, has probably given you a brain tumor. Here you can borrow my RAZR phone. Okay, I’m just kidding…I can’t afford a RAZR. Seriously though, call your doctor.
I love the original series. I just can’t stand it when people argue something is better simply because they are loyal to what came first.
Now what made TNG so good? If I had to give a one-sentence answer I would say that it struck the perfect balance between the exploration-of-the-unknown plots and galactic politics to create an engaging universe that was both exciting and wholly immersive. If I had to give a thirty-seven sentence answer I’d say the show’s success was due in large part to…
Cap’n Picard – It has nothing to do with my man-crush for him. Picard was a shiny dome of wisdom and charisma. He commanded his crew with strength and understanding and a strong English brogue. He shows that while his resolve is strong, he is also very vulnerable and you want to be the one to cradle his head in your lap and show him that you won’t take advantage of that vulnerability. Hang on; I need to take my medication.