Sports, it's all about balls

Two movies, two balls, right here, go!

Bob, we're seeing a faceoff between two low-brow sports movies: "Shaolin Soccer" vs "Dodgeball", both feature sad-sack losers, a rubber ball, and lowest common denominator jokes. One is from the East, one is from the West. Which will triumph?

Jim, you have in both movies the archetypical sports formula, an apparently loser team against an apparently superior team for high stakes, plus winning the heart of a gorgeous girl. And wrenches. Both have wrenches.

Bob, what about the gross-out gags?

Jim, oddly enough, both movies have a crippled guru coach to their sport, both have wrenches, and both have women with moustaches. Though, "Shaolin Soccer" wins points for having her pick her nose during her scene.

Bob, both movies have heart, both have contests against little girls, both have gross-out gags, which one would you give the edge since the underdog team winds up winning the prize at the end?

Jim, I'd have to give the points to "Shaolin Soccer" because it has the kung-fu, and "Dodgeball" only has Stephen Root. Plus the DVD of "Shaolin Soccer" includes both the dubbed cropped version and the longer Cantonese original version. "Dodgeball" isn't out until December, and we only seem to get Ben Stiller in a fat suit. Though Rip Torn swearing and throwing stuff is always funny. In case you're confused, "Dodgeball" is about an underdog team winning a dodgeball tournament using the wisdom they've been taught by their master. "Shaolin Soccer" is about an underdog team using their kung fu powers and the soccer wisdom they've been taught by their master to win a tournament.

Article Author: Jim Carruthers

Visit Jim Carruthers's author page