Sci-Fi Channel Original Review: Heatstroke

Part of: Sci-Fi TV Films

Ah, global warming. Not only is it going to destroy us all in some ozone-inspired heat ray of death, it’s also soon to be the new catalyst for creature features. Creature exposed to radiation because of dumb calls by humans, creatures get big, creatures munch on humans. Heatstroke comes close to bringing this into the limelight, but there’s only a small mention of giant bugs. In actuality, it’s aliens that caused global warming.

Duh.

Intelligent alien life who act anything but on screen have invaded Hawaii. See, one of those special ops teams that only exist in movies has been sent there to investigate the possibility of aliens in the area. Apparently, these alien beings give off some goofy radiation that’s never really explained. Oh, and they’re making Hawaii hot… as if it wasn’t already.

Anyway, off our intrepid group of "slowly killed off" adventurers goes into the jungles to search for these beings. When they’re found, they look almost exactly like the Covenant horde from the Halo games. If you can’t spend the money to make decent special effects, do you really think you can afford a lawsuit from Microsoft?

Seriously, these are some truly insipid effects. These alien beings walk around without ever matching the background plate and spitting red smoke stuff that burns your face off. Must be all of that radiation in their bellies, but why explain that to your audience?

In-between the alien attacks, loaded with excessive and routinely cheap gore, we’re given minute bits of character development and some hilariously awful choreographed fights. The camera bobs and weaves to throw off the viewer from realizing how slow and miserable they are.

If Heatstroke teaches us anything, it’s that parasailing over Hawaii will always crash land you in the middle of a bikini-model shoot. Oddly, in the face of this little disaster of a film, it all makes sense. An actual heatstroke might actually be a more pleasant experience.

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Article Author: Matt Paprocki

Matt Paprocki is a 12-year movie and game critic. He currently freelances for Blu-ray review site DoBlu.com and video game site MultiPlayerGames.com.

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