We’ve been taught throughout the years that William Parker Foulke discovered the past existence of dinosaurs in 1858. Well, you’re wrong if you believe that. It was actually Cortes in one of his earlier missions before conquering Spain. Movies never lie you know.
See, it was the Aztecs who held the key. They worshipped a couple of T-Rexes who inexplicably survived a few extra million years longer than their predecessors. The male and female beasties munched on the tribes through sacrifices, and must have for quite some time if the story of Aztec Rex is supposed to be believed. These are some full grown monsters here, willing to scarf down any living thing in their path even though they apparently managed to survive for centuries eating only the occasional sacrifice.
The Aztecs worship the dual T-Rexes as gods, giving them a purpose to slaughter their own kind before giving them up as food. Maybe someone should have told them that the dinosaurs are just really freakin’ hungry after only being fed every couple of weeks for a few thousand years. Who wouldn’t be ticked off at that kind of treatment?
The Aztec altar in the film looks like something a couple of high school kids tossed together over a weekend for a school play and is placed in some uncharted land which looks awfully similar to the place that Lost show is filmed. Maybe the movie and series are filmed on some sacred ground? No, wait. It’s just Hawaii.
The grating dialogue in Aztec Rex that comes from both the invading Spaniards and the small Aztec tribe is hilarious. It’s also impressive how the Aztecs can speak fluent English without skipping a beat. Less impressive are the special effects, though that’s really no surprise. The creatures here look like stock footage pulled from a low budget after school special made in 1995.
Let this be the starting point for all to rebel against their old history teachers. The teachers were wrong, and Aztec Rex is all the proof we need. Let history be rewritten to show that some guy in a bad wig playing Cortes was the founder of the dinosaur. It’s only fair.
Article comments
1 - Scott Deitche
I usually immensely enjoy Sci-Fi network's grade Z monster movies, but this one was just bland.
2 - Rey
Too bland? Well, Cortes and his men should have brought along a roll of toilet paper.
Such toilet paper brings much variety to the movies. With a roll at your side, you may suddenly wish to go potty in a remote corner of the woods where it's just you and T. Rex. You can also use toilet paper to vandalize a five foot tall Aztec pyramid. Or, if you are about to die, you can use the last square of toilet paper to draw a cryptic map leading to buried treasure.
Just think of the surprising subplots our heroes would get into if only they had toilet paper in their midst.
(By the way, I like this lively review...it was somehow more entertaining than the actual movie!)
3 - adrian germishuizen
the trash that people make with money. the sad thing is tthat other people with go and see the trash.
i saw 10 000AC and i thought that was low but AZTEC REX is in the mud
4 - eliza
For the record Hawai'i is sacred ground. respect the people and the land!!
5 - C J Patterson
Don't you mean fluent Spanish?