Ridonkulous DVD Picks of the Week
from a lowly video store employee
Every week our UPS man, like a scheisser (or "scat") porn-loving Santa Claus, delivers us a bundle of joy. No, not a baby, that only happened once and it wasn't nearly as wacky as "Three Men and a Baby" (but far wackier than "Three Men and a Little Lady"). I am refering of course to the shipment of new DVD's every week which contains some of the most ridiculous, nay, ridonkulous DVDs ever made. It's my job to bring these otherwise overlooked gems to the adoring, ignorant public.
This week's addition comes about 1 week(or more) late, but since there were almost no good bad movies for 11/15, I don't think it hurts to weigh quality over promtness.
My Baby Is Black!
Perhaps the only thing more shameful to a white woman than having a torrid affair with a negro is bearing his hellspawn...
If I can tell anything about this film based on the cover, it's about a sexy black man being seduced by a cartoon white woman... and the product of this bond of the flesh world and the ink world is a cartoon baby born totally in black ink. And it all takes place in France. Fucked up.
And as if that wasn't enough racial tension, you get "Checkerboard", another subtly titled french art film depicting racial hatred fueled by the love of two crazy french youngsters. There is obviously a colorful cast of characters in this one: 2 passionate lovers, an angry man with a shotgun, a wise old black man, a wise fat oriental stereotype (including Fu Manchu mustache), a buxom blonde vixen and maybe a priest? (click the picture if you have trouble seeing the picture) All equally essential to tales of hatred and forbidden love. Apparently there is at least one wooden-limp beating in this film, making true it's clain of "a tour of violence!".
Once again, the French get it right.
Boys Town
Not to be confused with the other classic "Boys Town 90069", although equally as gay in my opinion.
The banner on the bottom reads:
"The Life Story of a Boy Who Was Born to be Hung"
Surely this was not meant to be as blatantly homosexual as it is... or was it? The picture looks like a court illustrator's rendition of an older man, perhaps a teacher who just couldn't help his raw lust, and the school boy who just needed that extra push to find his path in life. Lets face it, that little boy is giving a mighty seductive look, you might say it's a "come hither" stare. He's got his shirt collar loosened and he's ready for... whatever.
It also includes "Men Of Boys Town", another clue to the homosexual underbelly of hollywood in this time period.
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