The first new show of the broadcast networks' Fall season premiered Monday, and the most praise I can muster is, it could've been worse. Prison Break is just ridiculous. It's just mind-jarringly, staggeringly ridiculous. But if you can kind of squint and pretend you don't see all the malarkey, it's not that bad.
Lincoln Burrows has been sentenced to death for killing the Vice President's brother. Linc's half-brother, Michael Scofield, believes he's innocent, so he robs a bank and gets thrown in prison. The same prison as Linc! (Because he gets to choose which prison he goes to!) So he can bust them both out! Because it just so happens he helped design the prison! And he's got the blueprints hidden in tattoos on his body!! And he smuggled in a helicopter up his ass!!!
Okay, not that last bit, but he might as well have. He planned everything else out, helped in no small part by extreme coincidence. Everyone Michael meets figures into his plans in some way, whether it's the prison doctor, who happens to be the governor's daughter, or the incarcerated Mob boss, who can hide them once they escape, or fellow inmate D.B. freakin' Cooper, who has money stashed on the outside they can use. Or then there's the warden (a surprisingly low-key Stacy Keach), who, in the most eye-rolling of coinky-dinks, just happens to be building a scale model of the Taj Mahal for his wife's anniversary present — which structural engineer Michael just happens to be able to help him with, in exchange for favors.
It's silly, and it's going to get even sillier, it looks like. Lincoln is scheduled for execution in one month, according to Monday's back-to-back premiere episodes, yet according to the coming attractions, it's already been pushed back to 60 days. How will Lincoln keep getting a stay of execution long enough for Michael to carry out his plan? (Via very silly means, I have to assume.) And what if the show's a success? How tedious will it become, as week after week Lincoln somehow avoids execution, and Michael keeps failing to actually break them out of prison? "Well, you've been here two years now, dude. How's that brilliant escape plan of yours going?" "Shut up!!" And if they do escape, what happens to the "prison" part of the show? I guess they can always change the name to Prison Already Broken.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - schofield
sick show ey>?
2 - John
Well, I am a fan of prison break and I am waiting for the day when you will write another review after the show has finished, prehaps with a more convincing opinion. Ever heard of oceans 11? Put that togethor with the exciting un-known mysteries behind prison walls and you have Prison Break. I rate it 5/5.
3 - Shane Warne
Oh, you bloody beauty, you gotta love this show its a little ripper, prob the only thing better then a double wickad maiden on an indian dusty pitch.
4 - matiya mouralithiran (chucker)
Look warne ure and old man now ill be getting hatricks while ure getting ure pension. catchya later buddy
(sms me) ure good at that
5 - Warne
I wont have to get a pension buddy, ill be earning millions, everytime i do it with ur wife she pays me a doller
6 - schofield
On a serious note this show is the best ive seen since the 24 series (1,2,3 and 4). I give it 9.9 out of 10. I take a .1 mark of only because of that little point of hair that schofield has on his forehead, it shits me to tears, other than that its awesome.
7 - tomthedog
What the hell just happened?
8 - Holly Fryer
Wow. I completely dissagree with everthing you just said. Prison Break is a wonderful show! Even better when you compare it to all the crap on TV now. This is a show that actualy challenges it's audiances, unlike The O.C, a show that is almost insulting to me and my generation.
But it is your opinion and this is mine, so let's leave it at that.
9 - Norman
The star, "Wentworth" Miller, shows emotional range from A to B. What is this, a total vanity vehicle for his mugging? As to masculine sex appeal, he looks like he was dressed by nuns. I can't even tell if the guy is male, if you know what I mean. The plot is stretched too far. Implausible would be a kind thing to say.
10 - John
Prison Break is such a great show. Yah there are some unbelievable parts but hey, everything else is great.
11 - TomHater
who the hell is Tom the Dog? Im sorry its no queer eye for the straight guy. maybe they will stop by and remodel the cells for them. what the hell! this tom guy just pisses me off. What else would you rather be watching, this is one of the better shows on tv right now. Freakin homo! jeeez i love how these people who have nothing better to do make a whole story about how a tv show sucks! after one episode! move out of your moms basement! get a job like the rest of us and tell us what tv shows are really good. "silly" who says silly?
12 - Dave
"Prison Break" has to be one of the best tv shows I've ever watched; superb script writing and suspensful drama. "Silly" you say? I must ask... have you seen "The OC"? WOW. What moron thought of that fine piece of crap? I will rip my eyes out before i watch that show.
I must say, this review is poorly written. You state the problems of the show but have no supporting arguments. It's like a child whining to its mother... sad.
13 - Stizzler
This show rules - its so intense, a total nail biter. Not to mention that Schofield is effin HOT. I just wish they'd show him in the shower some time soon. And as for buddy complaing about what he wears...since when did people have a choice in prison?
14 - Bob
I also disagree with this review. I love this show, which I haven't been able to do since maybe oz. It's not a reality based show, or pretend reality show. I hate those shows so much........Ok, so i wont vent about my utter hatered for those shows. Hopefully that discusting fad is over. I'm sure people will eventually be embarrased they ever watched them, like they are embarrased about mullets. Now look, i vented a little. Prison break is a great show and the "plotholes" don't bother me at all. This show is refreshing and actually makes me want to turn on the tv. I don't know of very many things that do that for me.
15 - -E
I keep trying to watch this show (I missed the pilot). But I seem to have fallen asleep during the second and third eps. It just doesn't do anything for me. Plus, how would they be able to have a second season?
16 - Grube
Orison Brea is the greatest show ever!!!!!!!!! It totally rox sox. It's the best show on tv in years. Plus Michael is sooooo sexy. Wow I would totally do him if I knew him. I love tatoos they are hott. So what the hell are you talking about the show is silly you're silly you gay fag.
17 - rebelde406fan
I disagree with your opinion. Prison Break is the best show out there. It is doing extremely well and it is only in its first season. I'll admit that the producers sometimes don't seem to know what is going to come next, but the mystery aspect adds allure to the show. So, i think that you and everyone who doesn't like the show, are judging it too quickly. See it until the end of the season and decide if you like it. If you still don't like it, then i think all of prison break's fans will know that your opinion sucks and doesn't mean s.h.i.t.
18 - Muse Watson
I play Charles Westmoreland ( DB Cooper ) in Prison Break. I find the story exciting, the writing intelligent, and my character fun to work on. I enjoy my work and appreciate the fact that there seems to be alot of folks who enjoy watching it.
Thanks.
Muse Watson
19 - enzik,jasen
you guys do understand its just a freakin TV show right? ever heard of a little thing called suspension of disbelief. if we based it tall on facts we wouldnt have a little thing called fiction! heck look at MTV's "the real world" none of that stuff happens in real life...
lighten up!
20 - charinko punk
I shy away from most TV serials, but the prison theme is so seductive. Combine that with a labyrinth occultism of tattooed signs and sensational conspiratorial paranoia backed by shivs and the Secret Service, its enough to make any Freemason or Idaho militaman weep.
I'm especially struck by the name Scofield, shared with the infamous "Cyrus I. Scofield" who authored the premilleninarial version of the Bible that has his name. A robust predispensationalist, this historical Scofield believed that an "invisible" church would emerge from the corrupt structures of contemporary Christianity on the eve of the Tribulation. His elaborately cross-referenced Bible had a great effect in shifting American Christianity towards an apocalyptic worldview. So our favorite convict-hero has the same last name and his skin seems to render an invisible truth out of his tattoo patterns. Is this a wry nod to the circular and obsessive labor of footnoting and indexing the apparent "self-evident" Biblical prophesies carried out by the historical "Dr." Scofield of Kansas? If the body is a text, then it would seem there is some clever little jokes being made here by those ironic scriptwriters in Burbank. But then, it could all just be a coincidence like the rest of the show's painstaking and painful twists.
21 - The Theory
>>is a show that actualy challenges it's audiances
Actually, the only tv show on these days that actually challenges it's audience would be Arrested Development. But thanks for trying to make a valid point.
22 - Tom the Dog
I'm sorry, charinko punk. Maybe you didn't get the memo about leaving comments on this entry. You're required to misspell every other word (at least), and refer to me with homophobic slurs because I disagree with you about a TV show, while ignoring the fact that I actually said I enjoyed the show. There are very few intelligent, insightful comments allowed here! (Actual actors from the show are excepted -- we've got Muse Watson, now let's get one from Sarah Wayne Callies, or as I like to think of her, "Hot Doctor".)
In the future, you should use "Grube"'s comment above as a template. Start with getting the name of the show wrong, and you're halfway there!
23 - Tom the Dog
I see The Theory also did not get the memo.
Thanks for making an actual valid point.
24 - Paul
All I can say about this show is that I'm glad so many people are responding well to a show that isn't a reality show.
Personally, I can find better ways to spend my time. And since a review is technically about opinions, the people who posted before should respect the reviewer's. He didn't make frivolous insults or unfounded claims, he gave his opinion, which is what you asked for by coming to this website.
It's funny that so many people get so defensive about a show they like seemingly only because it has moving pictures and an attractive lead actor. How many 15 year old girls just posted comments?
25 - Casandra
I found this entire thing very funny. first of all. all the insults to the poor guy who wrote the review. And then there is the review in it’s self. All of which cracked me up like an egg. And the comment about the fifteen year old girls. Priceless all of it. Though I disagree with Tom The Dog. I think everyone whom actually made a point (didn’t just say, you suck cause you don’t like the show) made farley valid points. But in the end, I’m a die hard fan of prison break. And to all of you whom have never heard of a limited series, I feel very sorry for you