As if a man hasn't enough to worry about.
As if the uncovering, not ten minutes ago, of a hive of mutant spider bastards in the back garden wasn't enough, as if the spindly legged fuckers gallivanting across my walls wasn't quite plenty for to keep me disturbed beyond all reason, I find that I'm woefully out of pocket during one of the sweetest weeks for Region 1 DVD Releases in as long as anyone would bother to ever care about thinking of.
In addition, I went for a dander into Tescos supermarket earlier, only to face the kind of obstacle a man never in his wildest dreams would wish to dream about wildly.
Star Wars - Clone Wars Volume One has just been released over here in the Region 2, and not only this, but both Ewok pictures, the Ewok animated adventures, and two feature length helpings of Droids.
And the Napoleon Dynamite DVD a couple cases down that a fella knows he can't ignore for much longer.
What the hell to do?
I ended up purchasing Clone Wars, but those other bastards will have their day in the sun, I dare say.
But anyhow.
Look at this shit right here. Each and every one of these is Must Own. Usually I have trouble finding five picks for to be puck. This week I had trouble confining myself to anything less than nine thousand.
Sell your face, I would advise, and use the money to purchase these wonders, that you might gaze loving upon them with the eyes staring unsettlingly from your faceless head.
12 Monkeys - Special Edition
Chris Marker's La Jetee is a brilliant, brilliant piece of work, with one of the most unsettling shots of someone blinking that you'll ever find in a motion picture made up of still images. Obviously Terry Gilliam dug it too, since he went and remade it except making it all full-motion and with more Bruce Willis and something about demented monkey-activists.
That Gilliam's effort is so brilliant is amazing in itself. Seems like the worst remake idea in all history, and yet there it is, being totally brilliant before your very eyes.
It appears that this is the same as the previous DVD, except with a spruced-up transfer. But if you don't own it, now's the time. It has a Gilliam commentary, plus the brilliant The Hamster Factory making-of, too, one of the making of's that count as Proper Films as opposed to promotional pish. See also the Making Of Willard number on Willard, fittingly enough. If you find it on Garden State, probably best take it back to the store and demand to know why Crispin Glover is starring as Natalie Portman.
Article comments
1 - Chris Beaumont
Hey!
The remade Assault is surprisngly good and worth checking out.
Alone in the Dark, what a mess, I saw it in the theater....
I thought the Dune disk got delayed?
2 - HW Saxton
"The Sopranos" - Season 5 is finally out
in the stores. I'm surprised it did not
make this list. Or did I miss it in some
previous new release post ???
3 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
chris and HW, both of you could be right. i would love to have these up the saturday before the tuesday release, as opposed to the day after, but the schedules are so distressingly unreliable i can't.
one second the lucinda Williams was down for tuesday, for example, and by the time i'm about to hit "post" it has changed.
the terrors of DVD schedules, man.
sopranos would've definately been on here, if i had known. this is the complete list, as far as any decision i make, its all in the top picks bit., the rest is just the schedule as i get it.
4 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
oh, and chris, i intend to check out said remake. and also Alone In The Dark for hilarity value.
and also, how fucking amazing is clone wars volume 1???? very, is the answer. i just watched the DVD. outstanding.
5 - Phillip Winn
I ordered Appleseed from Amazon today. The version without the figure, sadly.
6 - Eric Berlin
Man, I can not WAIT for Sopranos to come out...
Duke, I always love reading your annotations and imagine they're better than the actual films in many cases.
Love the reference to Quills and mustaches here... great stuff.
7 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
phil, i imagine the flick will be plenty for to amuse you. maybe i should get an action figure made. pull the string and i say about "fuck you, The Ring Two" or "Kirsten, the fragmented light on the arc of existence". Something action-figurey.
Eric, much as any thoughts of Quills are to be encouraged, i have been this past month tryin to find a copy on DVD, to no avail. I wanna see it again, and it seems the lord forbids it.
and also - is it tommorow star wars opens, or next week?
8 - Eric Berlin
Looks like there's some premieres happening next week and then a worldwide opening on the 19th.
I liked Quills, Duke, but I have zero desire to ever see the thing again.
9 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
ha, but he's such a loveable rogue!
in fact, beside my bed at this minute in time are both The 120 Days Of Sodom and Incest by that rogueish bastard. i don't "enjoy" the things in the slightest, but a fellas head is a more colourful place with his demented ranting running around in there.
10 - Eric Berlin
Oh for sure -- but I don't need to see G Rush writing on himself in blood and smearing his waste all over the walls (for the second time) to get in the spirit of the writer!
11 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
hahah. yes. but what a spirit?
i came to the conclusion recently, with Sir Fleming of Mondo Guerilla Marketing, that i have in my head constructed a series of characters who bear no relation to their actual personalities. i.e., the giddy, childish, loadsa fun GG Allin, and also the smirking mischevious scallywag who is the marquis de sade.
in real life, these people where deeply disturbed psychopaths and deeply distubed misogynist bastards, respectively, but yet, in my mind, there's GG dancing around in the nude, and there's Marquis, looking like G. Rush, sniggering as he takes a crap or nine and writes about it in great detail.
in the intro to 120 Days..., which is three times longer than the book i might add, a fella says that the marquis used to buy certain boiled sweets, and give them to hookers hoping they would "make them do a little burp", i.e, fart.
this was all he would ask at this time. if they didn't "do a little burp", he was very dissapointed.
this is lighthearted scampery, surely.
then there's the stuff about him being buggered whilst he does some buggering. again, impish mischief.
12 - Eric Berlin
then there's the stuff about him being buggered whilst he does some buggering. again, impish mischief.
I had no idea the American university fraternities had so much to thank the Marquis for!
Anyway: yeah, I've done the same imagining, like hanging out with Jim Morrison or Jack Kerouac or Ernest Hemingway and having the time of your life, getting drunk, telling and receiving the strangest deepest philosphical mind-bending thought patterns one could ever hope for...
When in reality you'd be lucky if they managed not to piss on your back after knocking your (read=my) ass out of the way on the next drink/bottle/pill/groupie, or so on.
13 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
then there's the stuff about him being buggered whilst he does some buggering. again, impish mischief.
tut tut Eric. always bring the subject to buggery.
heh, great line, man. who knew indeed!
and i agree. much better to hang out with the romantacised (or in the case of GG and De Sade, rapscallionised) versions of these people. reality is such a pain in the nuts sometimes.
14 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
and i do believe thats the first time i ever succesful used HTML to italicise something in the comments.
15 - Eric Berlin
I wonder what podcast I got those strange and subversive ideas from ?