(Tense music.)
With the resignation of Supreme Court justice Sandra Day O'Donnor, President George W. Bush was faced with the decision of nominating a new justice. His dilemma was solved with the nomination of John Roberts. (Roll footage of John Roberts smiling slight to the right of the camera)
But it didn't stop there. (Abrupt music pause.)
(Footage of Chief Justice William Rehnquist's funeral, somber music follows)
The death of William Rehnquist left another void in America's Hall of Justice. And President Bush will again have to make ...
... the SUPREME DECISION. (Cue graphic of fiery logo) (Cue Van Halen's Right Now)
President Bush will nominate another Supreme Court Justice out of these 11 contestants:
("Whoosh" sound) A lawyer from New York City (56-year-old white man turns to camera with a stern face, arms crossed).
("Whoosh" sound) An appellate judge from Cincinnati Ohio (47-year-old woman turns to camera with a stern face, arms crossed).
("Whoosh" sound) A bartender from San Francisco, California (26-year-old metrosexual man turns to camera with a cocky smile)
("Whoosh" sound) A homemaker from Erie, Pennsylvania (41-year-old woman turns to camera with a plate of oatmeal cookies)
("Whoosh" sound) A police officer from Dallas, Texas (36-year-old black man turns to camera, proudly representing the show's minority quota)
("Whoosh" sound) An aspiring model from Chicago, Illinois (21-year-old blond woman turns to camera, strikes a pose and winks)
("Whoosh" sound) A retired foreman from Phoenix, Arizona (62-year-old man turns to camera with a stern face and a bottle of Jim Beam in his right hand)
("Whoosh" sound) A security guard from Hollywood (camera sees nothing, waits a few seconds, pans downward to find Gary Coleman)
("Whoosh" sound) A truck driver from Evansville, Indiana (45-year-old man turns to camera, hocks a loogie)
("Whoosh" sound) A principal from Denver, Colorado (43-year-old woman turns to camera with a stern face, arms crossed and a sign taped to her back that says "LESBIAN"
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Article comments
1 - El Bicho
We would probaly learn more about the nominees than we do act the hearings.
I'm all for it, but they have to be sequestered in a house the entire time.
2 - Matthew T. Sussman
I didn't even get into the challenges they'd face involving hearing cases from the ACLU.
Challenges have two meanings in this instance.
3 - DrPat
I'd watch that, but only if they have to room together in arbitrary pairs, and eat something icky for one of their challenges...
4 - Joanie
Thanks for the giggle! I'd pick a different theme song, but I'm with ya on all the rest.
5 - Matthew T. Sussman
Everyone's a critic.
I was also contemplating:
I'm open minded on the theme song. I figured with using "Right Now" there could be a corporate tie-in with Crystal Pepsi.
6 - Ruben
I saw the similar in Russia when I was there. I found it very funny show.