Prison Break Fun! with teletart: another review for the pile

I've never really been one for prison drama. The shifting alliances. The scary shower rooms. The lack of costume changes.

I didn't watch Oz, Bad Girls, or Prisoner Cellblock H. I wasn't transfixed by Brubaker. I never saw Escape from Alcatraz, I have only vague memories of Papillon and Midnight Express. The Rock was... well, it was a Michael Bay film. Though wait - can I count Chicago? And yes, okay, I'll admit to having seen the girly, sentimental favourites: Jailhouse Rock, The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile. (They came from a kinder, gentler prison time.)

So why have I been so excited about Fox's Prison Break? Was it the intense, slightly maniacal stare of Wentworth Miller, who plays inmate Michael Scofield? Was it the Monday night timeslot, rich with all those lovely Jack Bauer memories? Was it my fondness for drama with a time-sensitive premise?

Whatever it was, my excitement was justified. Sure, Monday's two hour premiere (repeated last night - or 'encored' as they like to say) was occasionally ludicrous. For example, I did find it a little odd that a man with Type 1 diabetes was perplexed by a blood glucose monitor. Nor did he seem to need insulin daily - just every now and then, for a little top-up. Hmm. Of course, Michael didn't really have diabetes. It was all part of his cunning plan. Still - if you're going to obsess over details like the serial numbers of bolts, you think you might have checked out some diabetic accoutrements.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's back up to the premise.

Michael Scofield is a very attractive man who specialises in piercing stares. Seriously, he's good at them. So good that he hardly needs to move the rest of his face. Even his vocal chords are in on it, keeping his voice steady and flat so that his eyes can do more acting. Michael's brother Lincoln is also attractive, in an older, more eyebrow-acting way. Lincoln is on death row for killing the vice-president's brother. He says he's innocent, and Michael believes him. So does Lincoln's ex-girlfriend, lawyer Veronica Donovan. Sort of. She's started to do some digging into the case, a fact which has been noticed by two evil Secret Service agents. Said evil agents have been squiring themselves around town, dispatching anyone who might get close to what is obviously some kind of conspiracy. The head of the conspiracy seems to be a woman who chops garlic in Montana. I wouldn't worry about that bit so much for now.

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  • 1 - Richard

    Sep 02, 2005 at 2:48 pm

    You forgot about prison inmate D.B. Cooper, who seemily from his affection for Michael will give him his hidden money, since he can't use it in prison. The bolt is supposedly going to allow Michael and his brother to exit the prison by way of the sewer, A LA "The Shawshank Redemption". The Mafia boss will show them a way to escape detection, once outside the prison walls.

  • 2 - Bob A. Booey

    Sep 02, 2005 at 2:55 pm

    I didn't watch this (2 hours is too much to ask of BABsie's time), but I missed you, my dear.

    Your sunshine shines too infrequently on this dark, dank corner of the world.

    That is all.

  • 3 - Eric Berlin

    Sep 02, 2005 at 2:59 pm

    Very cool, teletart. I just added your piece to the growing ranks of Prison Break reviews.

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