What’s easier to mend – a broken heart, a decapitated head, or a really f-ed up TV show?
Has your epic television show completely lost its focus due to a pregnancy and a contract dispute? Do you want to fix things after regretfully killing off one essential character too many? Can we have Bobby Ewing come out of the shower again?
Let's erase that ugly season three of Prison Break in ten minutes.
Gretchen admits that she never killed Michael Scofield’s true love Sara Tancredi. Apparently Sara escaped and having lost her leverage, Gretchen went into damage control and sent Lincoln Burrows a generic head in a box, proving that the show will never stop relying on the fact that Michael’s brother is just as boneheaded as Michael is brilliant. I can’t really blame Lincoln — who wants to look at a decapitated head for longer than ten seconds? I’d just assume it was whoever the sender said it was, too.
Welcome back, Dr. Sara; your so-called death nearly ruined our favorite show.
We all hate Gretchen’s guts, let’s kill her. The big bad company has a huge African American named Wyatt do the dirty work; sadly we couldn’t see it, apparently because Wyatt works nasty!
We all hated Sona. Let’s burn it to the ground. Like Gretchen’s goodbye, I wish we could have seen it burn, but that probably would have been too expensive.
Whistler? We don’t like him either. Voila! Someone, likely Wyatt, shot him in the back of the head.
Can we get everyone together again? After all, we’ve become fond of the cast.
After three years of trying to hunt these guys down, the Federal government finally became competent and nabbed Michael, Lincoln, Sucre, Bellick, Sara, and Mahone in about 15 minutes. Thank god for the Patriot Act.
Let’s have those crazy, star-crossed lovers hug. Yes, Sara is truly back! 40 minutes in, Michael’s giving her a big fat hug and for a second all seems well. Time to get it on? No, that would apparently be too much for one episode, and this baby has to float on for twenty or so episodes just to get through season four. It seems that Gretchen, super bitch that she was, whipped poor Sara within an inch of her life before our favorite prison doctor could escape. Why would Gretchen whip Sara? Did I mention that she was a super bitch? Net result: no loving for Michael for right now because Dr. Sara now has some serious post-traumatic stress issues to go with those welts on her back.
Article comments