Seems like once a year I get Oscar fever. It starts with general fatigue, dry mouth, precipitous drop in mood on realizing that regular programming is preempted. Next thing I'm flopping on the floor.
I hate the Oscars. I never miss em.
Out here in DeKalb we're tv talkers anyway, always talking back, full of smart remarks. Making fun of all these phonies with their borrowed jewelry and ridiculous dresses. It's Star Prom. Who's had surgery most recently? Who needs it again already? Who honestly gives a good damn?
We hardly know how to watch the Oscars anymore now that our free subscription to The National Enquirer ran out. Ran out to White Hen never saw it again. We got the basic cable now, comes with FOX. We let it snow on the other channels, except the nine Spanish channels, which provide 24 hour language immersion. A while back I discovered it is possible, by pressing the correct sequence of buttons, to get C-SPAN, which is the only television news anyone should be allowed to watch.
I do hate the academy awards. I do. And I refuse to capitalize them because they've wasted so much of my time over the years. So few of these awards ever touched me. Maybe Geoffrey Rush in Shine. He deserved it, I thought, because the man played his own piano! Zowie. No stunt hands, no doubles. On top of that, he acted while he was playing. That's why I was touched; his acting was ...eh...
They say that every year has its moment, and it's true. Out of all those hours it's a statistical certainty.
My favorite moment was not when Jim Carrey came out as Humpty Dumpty and gave a serious and unfunny summary of the life of a somewhat funny behind-the-scenes man for whom we are supposed to feel, through osmosis, a great fondness, as if we're part of this huge entertainment family, which, of course, we think we are, even though this "family" doesn't even exist, much as, many of us may feel, our own.
Article comments
1 - Eric Olsen
Interesting, oddly skewed view - hey, that's you! Way to go with the links - you are a blogger! I'm not sure how the political punks post demonstrates my passion, but hey, it's a link.
2 - CW Fisher
I was just trying to get your attention and give you a gentle nudge back to the kinder gentler viking I met only a month ago. #;~) I looked at the leaderboard today (time to update the homepage btw) and wondered how you outproduce your next closest competitor by a factor of four across all categories. Who are you really. Or am I talking to a staff? Are you 'Eric Olsen' the way Eppie Lederer's daughter is 'Ann Landers'? Cuz thats wut Im thinkn.
Eric, what I say to you now is between you and me, and I say this with confidence because I finally got a site meter that tells the whole truth. Nobody's here! ECHO Echo echo etc...
At least not on my glob, as my wife calls it.
Now I got you calling me odd. In the public arena yet. You pee in my arena?
Give that one to Pecci. You pee in my arena?
Actually it's yours.
3 - Shark
Great stuff yet again, Fisher King!
I missed the show, knowing in advance that I wasn't missing anything.
Wifey did call me to watch the Triplets of Belleville, which I'm told was the most exciting moment in the 4+ hours of somnambulance.
BTW: It was also the best film of the year, no doubt about it. (But we don't want to toss laurels to anything that's French, let alone reward imagination, art, and originality.)
Anyway, I can't get real excited about extremely rich and extremely famous giving themselves trophies for stuff they've already been paid millions to do.
It's like when I see a celebrity in public: unlike 99.9% of the American Public, my first impulse is "AVERT YOUR EYES, SHARK, AVERT YOUR EYES!"
They hate that.
4 - Eric Olsen
CW, I follow my muse wherever it may lead on any given day - it's all just "content" anyway. I'm always cheerful doing reviews because i generally don't bother to review things I don't like.
As far as traffic goes, you just started and it takes time. And you just started linking, what, yesterday. Start putting in links on your own site as well and the traffic will come.
You are doing a great job here and that will drive traffic to your site as well. Just keep it up and don't forget to link, link, link.
5 - Eric Olsen
Oh, and I pee in your direction not. And as far as volume goes: I do this about 12 hours a day unless I'm writing something else. This is my job, dude, and this is my home site.
6 - Shark
re: the muse and blogging:
I really love writing.
And there's nothing more rewarding than knowing my efforts have the shelf-life of warm buttermilk.
(Shark contemplates the lost hours and puts a gun to his head)
7 - sheri
lol :o)
8 - CW Fisher
Gee. Shark. Sorry I showed up so late.
Shark?
Shaaaarrrrkeeeee...
I am calling you like you are a dog. The internet doesn't work that way.
Well. Hope you didn't do anything stupid.
Please seek counseling. Find out why they call you Shark.
Where do you live, generally?
9 - Shark
Ruff, ruff, ruff, go, squirrel, go, go, go...
FisherKing, try whistling!
I have a Pavlovian response to a distant whistle. My father used to stand on the ol' back porch and cut loose with one of those whistles that could break glass.
No matter what I was doing, my head would turn in the direction of the sound, followed by my body (like a Tex Avery cartoon), and then my legs would start spinning up dust until they caught traction and left a ghostly image of me standing there in mute fear.
It was time to go home --- and you'd better not be late.
ie. Just put yer lips together and blow.
(Ah, nostalgia: debilitating illness of the aged.)
re: suicide - I decided against it. I love you too much to deprive you of me.
re. "Where do you live, generally?"
You mean physically or mentally?
10 - Eric Olsen
Think of it another way - you are leaving a written trail of crumbs behind you that will document your life, AND other people can read it too. What could be cooler?
11 - Shark
Eric always finds a silver lining:
"...you are leaving a written trail of crumbs behind you that will document your life, AND other people can read it too."
Ahhh.
Words.
Bread crumbs.
A digital trail that leads to...
---a murder of crows ripping apart the the stinky, rotting, left-over carrion of my essays.
Yes. I feel much better now.