This isn’t your normal movie review, but then I refuse to think of myself as "normal". When we critique things, we bring to them who and what we are. Our personal experiences and world views push themselves into every aspect of our lives. Watching and reviewing a movie is no different.
I am a political animal. I look at things through political eyes. I am also a very frustrated archaeology buff, absolutely fascinated with the unanswered questions of American archaeology. I like science fiction. I thoroughly enjoy this new genre, for want of a better term, exemplified by Lincoln Childs and Douglas Preston. Consequently, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is manna for me.
I don’t care about character development, back-story, or viability. All I care about is the fact that Harrison Ford still looks good and I enjoyed the movie. So what if there were a few aliens? I live in New Mexico. Part of the movie was filmed in New Mexico. Aliens and UFOs are a way of life here (real or delusional). Deal with it.
Surprisingly Conservative
At least I now know why Harrison Ford had to do something outrageous and have his chest hair removed to appease his liberal colleagues. Indiana Jones is a patriotic, Commie-killin’, Ike-lovin’, Episcopalian conservative with family values, and a genuine war hero to boot! Lord have mercy. How could this happen? Toward the end of the movie, Indiana Jones channels Han Solo: “I have a bad feeling about this.” Well, I have a bad feeling about how Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull will be received.
This is not a liberal movie. It was fun to go back to a simpler age when we were fighting Communists. There’s nothing like a nasty, vodka-swilling double agent. Face it, we knew who the enemy was. It was us against them. Add to it is the fact that the natives in the film were not those peaceful, happy people political correctness requires. They were vicious killers. Oh, dear. The liberals are not going to be pleased with this one. To top it off, Indy had a prayer book in his desk? Not good at all. He married the love of his life – he actually married her – in a church with a priest officiating? In a church!
Father – son – family values? We find a man still mourning the death of his father. We learn that the two reconciled. Indiana Jones is now Henry Jones, Jr., proud son of Henry Jones, Sr. We see the realization dawn in the eyes of the son who finally understands his father. There is family. There is love.
Article comments
1 - Frank Stovicek
Crystal Skull missed the mark. One of the major shticks of the first three movies is Indy vs. insurmountable odds. Indy vs an encampment of Nazis, Indy vs a temple of Thugees, Indy on horseback fighting a tank. Indy is the driving force who overcomes these incredible odds through skill, cleverness, brute force and sheer willpower. In Crystal Skull, however, it feels like he's just along for the ride and one of a hapless crew following a map and who all collectively get lucky along the way. At no point did you see Indy really get beaten down and on the edge of failure and then magically - in true Indy style - pull a win out from his bag of tricks.
Also in the previous three movies, comic relief was interspersed briefly throughout the movie but always secondary to the story. In Crystal Skull, it definitely took center stage. Scenes repeatedly seemed focus on silly dialogue between the characters that never furthered the story. Lucas stated that Crystal Skull (and the Indy series) is a B-movie with A-movie treatment. They take things seriously, he said. While I agree this was mostly true for the first three movies (starting to fail with Last Crusade), the fourth was nothing more than a B-movie with an A-movie budget. The scene with the quicksand is case and point. Indy breaks into a science-class lesson while he and Marion are sinking into the sand. Sheesh! Lost was the opportunity to show a real struggle and being in a serious jam and then working their way out of it. They might as well have been sitting around a coffee table talking than in the middle of the jungle.
Another hugely sore point is no character development. Although Indy needed no introduction, Mac, Irina Spalko and Oxley, plus the guy who took Marcus' place (I didn't catch his name) all had no build up and left a huge gap in understanding their relationship to Indy and to the movie on the whole.
The only saving graces in Crystal Skull were Harrison Ford and Shia LaBeouf. Despite his age, Ford continues to shine in the role. Not for a second did he leave any doubt that he was capable of the feats he performed. If anything, he was refreshingly vibrant and strong. Shia came through, also, as a strong actor - due in part, perhaps, to having about the only real interaction with Indy. But still, Shia stood his ground with a screen presence that was not overcast by the power of the Indy icon.
Combine all the failures of this movie with unforgivable CGI throw-ins like jungle monkeys helping fight the Russians and pointless groundhog cutaways that showed the animals "watching" the action and you get, from this lifetime Indy fan a big "thumbs down". I was thoroughly disappointed and hope Spielberg and Lucas get this note and start IMMEDIATELY making a new one to make up for this one. One that is true to the Indy spirit!
2 - El Bicho
"Episcopalian conservative with family values"
That would explain why he had pre-martial sex, and where in the list of family values does running out on the bride a week before the wedding fall? Try not to project so much. It skews your perceptions.
3 - Just Me
Yep, that was one stinky flick! Horrible!