The Hitcher (2007)
Directed by Dave Meyers
Ah, then there’s The Hitcher. An unasked for remake of a classic tension-driven film from the '80s that, unfortunately, didn’t prompt a special edition of the original like these remakes usually do. What a bitch that is. This time instead of a lone guy driving across country and being terrorized by a hitchhiker, we have a beautiful couple on their way across country being terrorized by a hitchhiker (Sean Bean, the film’s only high point). More death, more mayhem, and the most inappropriate use of the Nine Inch Nails song "Closer" that you’ll ever witness.
The Joys of Jezebel/My Tail is Hot (1970/1964)
Directed by A.P. Stootsberry/Peter Perry
In The Joys of Jezebel, a girl named Jezebel dies but is not allowed to enjoy the pleasures of hell until she gets revenge on the man who killed her topside. She makes a deal with the devil to switch bodies with innocent virgin Rachel to enact her revenge, but of course a lot of sex has to come first. My Tail is Hot is what happens when hell is so slow that the devil tries to tempt a man just voted "Most Faithful Husband" with a bevy of naked ladies. The man not only doesn’t buy it, he’s got his own surprises for Old Scratch.
A Secret Handshake (2007)
Directed by Harsha Wardhan
How’s this for fucked up: Jacob is an ordinary guy with an ordinary life until one morning he wakes up to find himself in a hotel room being tortured by a mysterious woman. When he succumbs to his injuries, he passes out, only to awaken safe at home. He thinks it may have been a nightmare but then finds out that he’s been missing for days, and when he falls asleep, it happens all over again. Slowly his grip on what is real and what is not begins to falter before disappearing all together. Too bad the title is so lame; it sounds like a pretty interesting story just from what I was able to find out...
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