Van Helsing: Bush
Don’t be fooled by his Catholic ties. Van Helsing is all Bush Republican. He unilaterally invades a foreign country to make a pre-emptive strike against a ruthless killer. And that scene at the end where he comes back with that banner that says “Mission: Accomplished” really kind of nails it on the head. Okay. I made that last part up.
The Village: Kerry
Again with the civil liberties. Here, it’s even more plainly drawn. A group of people reacting to a traumatic event in their lives (read: 9/11) decide to protect their children by lying to them and curtailing their personal freedoms in an extreme fashion. They invent monsters to scare the children into staying reticent. There are even big yellow flags which might as well say “Terror Alert: Elevated” on them.
Dodgeball: Kerry
The bad guys are corporate. You do the math.
Collateral: Bush
Don’t let the hitman (terrorist) push you around, even if he does look like Tom Cruise. Kick his ass for America! Also, keep your cab clean and take pride in your work. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps to pursue your dream and save the hot D.A. who’s helping fight the war on drugs. Get tough on crime!
Anchorman: Bush
Yes. It’s about women’s lib. Or is it? Really, what does Christina Applegate accomplish? She joins the boys club, but she doesn’t really change it. They’re still idiots and they’re still reporting on stupid shit. This is about becoming one with the corporate machine, not bringing it down.
Alien Vs. Predator: Bush
This film is one big justification of the policies that led to the current crisis. Back during the carefree days of the cold war, America (and a lot of other countries, actually) made deals with less-than-trustworthy dictators, criminals, and other fun folks to stem the tide of communism. Remember how the mujaheddin were the good guys in The Living Daylights? Do you even remember The Living Daylights? It was the Bond film with that guy who was there for, like, two films. No, not George Lazenby! He was only in one. Never mind.
Anyway, we made some deals with some devils and later it came back to bite us in the ass. Well, what was the overriding philosophy behind this strategy? “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” This line gets repeated ad nauseam in AVP. Lex, the remaining human survivor, decides to team up with the remaining Predator to fight the Aliens. Never mind the fact that the Predator and his boys are responsible for the deaths of half her team and his species brought the Aliens to Earth in the first place. But in the heat of the moment, surrounded by bloodthirsty hordes, who ya gonna call?
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Article comments
1 - Eric Olsen
very clever and interesting David, thanks!
2 - Hal Pawluk
Best thing you've written, David, IMO.
3 - vikk
I really enjoyed reading this. You certainly got your money's worth out of the course.