Movie Review: Yet Another 300 Review (aka I Didn't Like 300!)

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• 1 - Retro Music Chick

  Mar 23, 2007 at 1:08 pm

  The best part of The 300 was when Xerxes intoned, "I am a generous king," at which point my friend/fellow Sin City dweeb Mike leaned over and whispered, "He is generous"
  
  "You never should have picked on him like that," I replied.
  
  Lines which are, of course, from Frank Miller's The Big Fat Kill. :)
  
  Thanks for having the balls to say this movie was utterly forgetable.
  
  Best,
  Libby

• 2 - Chris Beaumont

  Mar 23, 2007 at 3:39 pm

  I loved the movie, but I also love your review. Nicely written.
  
  Here's a question re: "Thanks for having the balls to say this movie was utterly forgetable."
  
  What exactly does not liking the movie have to do with balls? Are you suggesting those who liked the movie lack them?

• 3 - Kaonashi

  Mar 23, 2007 at 4:51 pm

  Chris, I think that Libby meant that Daniel was brave enough to admit that he didn't like the film and possibly encounter the wrath of fanboys of the comic and fans of the film.

• 4 - El Bicho

  Mar 23, 2007 at 6:50 pm

  Please, voicing an opinion of a film requires no bravery. What's brave is casting your own homo-eroticism onto the film.

• 5 - Daniel Woolstencroft

  Mar 23, 2007 at 7:22 pm

  Thanks all. As you may have guessed, this one just didn't do it for me.
  
  And Bicho - there should always be room for a little homo-eroticism, do you not think?
  
  Now you mention it, I did make a little more of the man-love than Headey's boobs...

• 6 - Tony Woolstencroft

  Mar 23, 2007 at 7:30 pm

  Bit harsh I think. I thought the only dud Spartan performance was from Wenham, whose delivery was stultifying. And large parts of it were absolutely stunning to watch, in particular the oracle scene.
  Personally I'm looking forward to the sequel starring Jim Carrey....The 23 Spartans.

• 7 - Defender

  Mar 26, 2007 at 5:39 am

  Movie "300" is based on Frank Miller's fiction about the battle between Persians and the Greeks. However this movie is not based on true events, "300" is insulting Persian culture and it is outragously racist.That movie was not accurate at all , not one percent by any chance, I have studied history for five years now and by studying I cliam I am a member of National Institue Of World History and that's why it matters to me so much, that movie is racist and ethnical and humiliates Iran and Iranians. It's simply insulting our nation, Pride, culture, history and everything Cyrus fought for. He said : " I will not rule who does not want me to rule them and I'm not the King of who doesn't want me to be their king." He fought for justice all his life and suddenly Warner Brothers Production makes a movie and creates a Violent, brutal, cruel killer out of him. Mr. Frank Miller should be ashamed of himself. The story has changed entirely. I refuse to let a unscientific movie insult me, my ancestors and my country. That movie was a source of evidence for the people who do not have historical knowledge. Did you know even some of the American historians have submitted that the movie is not factual and is not based on the events of the history. And are you aware that how most of the Americans are picturing Persians as violent and brutal Killers now? This is the strategy of United States government and administration to humiliate Iranian and Persians in order to achieve their goals. The stroy, however is entirely different in the movie than what scientists and historians believe, proved and submitted to The National Institute Of World History. "300" is giving the wrong impression to those who do not know about Persians and it pictures Persians as violent and brutal people and mostly uneducated with a hunger to shed innocent blood. "300" is extremely insulting and condescending to anyone non-caucasian. May I remind you that Iran was the first country to define human rights? There are many out there who will not be fooled by such garbage. Those who know about culture and history know better than that to consider a Warner Brothers production as a source of evidence for any historical facts. This movie is a total disgrace and it will only damage the Warner Brothers reputation. Iran who is of direct attack in this movie was long civilized before even America came to an existance. To me this movie seemed to pit the poor undermanned Westerners against the evil Middle Easterners. It was simplistic and, most often, ridiculous. I kept asking myself throughout the movie if it was meant to be a ninja turtles cartoon or was it meant to be factual. At a time where the bashing of Iran is an all time high, and the U.S. is looking for every means possible to get everyone on its side while preparing to face its "greatest" enemy, it is ironic that this moive be made. It's completely political, they make a hollywood movie and suddenly Persians are evil exactly at the time the two countries are having a conflict.It is a proven scholarly fact that the Persian Empire in 480 B.C was the most magnificent and civilized empire. Established by the Cyrus the great, the writer of the first human right declaration, Persians ruled over significant portions of Greater Iran, the east modern Afghanistan and beyond into central Asia; in the north and west all of Asia Minor (modern Turkey), the upper Balkans peninsula (Thrace), and most of the Black Sea coastal regions; in the west and southwest the territories of modern Iraq, northern Saudi-Arabia, Jordan, Israel, Lebanon, Syria, all significant population centers of ancient Egypt and as far west as portions of Libya. Having twenty nations under control, encompassing approximately 7.5 million square kilometers, unquestionably the Achaemenid Empire was territorially the largest empire of classical antiquity. Based on the Zoroastrian doctrine, it was the strong emphasis on honesty and integrity that gave the ancient Persians credibility to rule the world, even in the eyes of the people belonging to the conquered nations (Herodotus, mid 5th century B.C). Truth for the sake of truth, was the universal motto and the very core of the Persian culture that was followed not only by the great kings, but even the ordinary Persians made it a point to adhere to this code of conduct. It is clear that this motion picture is not a reflection of reality.
  
  Since its opening, 300 has attracted controversy over its portrayal of ancient Persians, and various critics, journalists, and officials of the Iranian government have denounced the film. As in the graphic novel, the Persians are depicted as a barbaric and demonic horde, and King Xerxes is portrayed as androgynous. This is designed to stand in stark contrast to the masculinity of the Spartan army. Greek movie critic Dimitris Danikas has suggested that the film portrays Persians as "bloodthirsty, underdeveloped zombies," writing that the filmmakers "are stroking [sic] racist instincts in Europe and America." American critics, including Steven Rea, have argued that the Persians are a vehicle for an anachronistic cross-section of Western stereotypes of Asian and African cultures. Dana Stevens points out that the Persians, as the "bad guys", are depicted as black people, brown people, handicapped and/or deformed people.
  The film's portrayal of ancient Persians sparked a particularly strong reaction in Iran.Azadeh Moaveni of Time reports that Tehranis were "outraged" following the film's release. Moaveni identifies two factors which may have contributed to the intense reaction: its release on the eve of Norouz, the Persian New Year, and a common Iranian view of the Achaemenid Empire as "a particularly noble page in their history." Various Iranian officials, including the president of Iran's Art Affairs Advisory, Javad Shamqadri, government spokesman and four Iranian Members of Parliament condemned the film.
  A Warner Bros. spokesman said: "The film 300 is a work of fiction inspired by the Frank Miller graphic novel and loosely based on an historical event. The studio developed this film purely as a fictional work with the sole purpose of entertaining audiences; it is not meant to disparage an ethnicity or culture or make any sort of political statement."
  Cyrus (580-529 BC) was the first Achaemenian Emperor. He founded Persia by uniting the two original Iranian Tribes- the Medes and the Persians. Although he was known to be a great conqueror, who at one point controlled one of the greatest Empires ever seen, he is best remembered for his unprecedented tolerance and magnanimous attitude towards those he defeated.
  Upon his victory over the Medes, he founded a government for his new kingdom, incorporating both Median and Persian nobles as civilian officials. The conquest of Asia Minor completed, he led his armies to the eastern frontiers. Hyrcania and Parthia were already part of the Median Kingdom. Further east, he conquered Drangiana, Arachosia, Margiana and Bactria. After crossing the Oxus, he reached the Jaxartes, where he built fortified towns with the object of defending the farthest frontier of his kingdom against nomadic tribes of Central Asia. The victories to the east led him again to the west and sounded the hour for attack on Babylon and Egypt. When he conquered Babylon, he did so to cheers from the Jewish Community, who welcomed him as a liberator- he allowed the Jews to return to the promised Land. He showed great forbearance and respect towards the religious beliefs and cultural traditions of other races. These qualities earned him the respect and homage of all the people over whom he ruled.
  As Prof. Richard Frye of Harvard said (in The Heritage of Persia, p10-151):
  
  "In the victories of the Persians... what was different was the new policy of reconciliation and together with this was the prime aim of Cyrus to establish a pax Achaemenica..... If one were to assess the achievements of the Achaemenid Persians, surely the concept of One World, .... the fusion of peoples and cultures in one 'Oecumen' was one of their important legacies"
  The victory over Babylonia expressed all the facets of the policy of conciliation which Cyrus had followed until then. He presented himself not as a conqueror, but a liberator and the legitimate successor to the crown. He took the title of "King of Babylon_ King of the Land". Cyrus had no thought of forcing conquered people into a single mould, and had the wisdom to leave unchanged the institution of each kingdom he attached to the Persian Crown. In 537 BC he allowed more than 40,000 Jews to leave Babylon and return to Palestine. This step was in line with his policy to bring peace to Mankind. A new wind was blowing from the east, carrying away the cries and humility of defeated and murdered victims, extinguishing the fires of sacked cities, and liberating nations from slavery.
  Cyrus was upright, a great leader of men, generous and benelovent. The Hellenes, whom he conquered regarded him as 'Law-giver' and the Jews as 'the annointed of the Lord'.
  Prior to his death, he founded a new capital city at Pasargade in Fars. and had established a government for his Empire. He appointed a governor (satrap) to represent him in each province, however the administration, legistlation, and cultural activities of each province was the responsibility of the Satraps. Accoding to Xenophon Cyrus is also reputed to have devised the first postal system, (Achaemenide achievements).
  His doctrines were adopted by the future emperors of the Achaemenian dynasty. Darius I (521-486 BC) brought together skills and craftsmen from all over the empire in building the city of Persepolis.
  
  559-530 BC -- Cyrus the Great established the Persian Empire in 550 BC, the first world empire. His respect for local traditions, laws, languages, and religions set the foundation of a relatively benevolent empire.
  539 BC -- Babylonia surrendered peacefully to Cyrus the Great. Welcomed as a liberator because of his compassionate policies, Cyrus freed the Jews from captivity and assisted them to migrate to their homeland and to reconstruct their temple in Jerusalem. In the Old Testament, in the Book of Isaiah, Cyrus is hailed as the Shepherd of the Lord. I am Cyrus, King of the World. When I entered Babylon I did not allow anyone to terrorize the land. I kept in view the needs of its people and all its sanctuaries to promote their well being. I put an end to their misfortune. The great God has delivered all lands into my hand, the lands that I have made to dwell in peaceful habitation.
  522-486 BC -- The reign of Darius the Great marked the zenith of the Persian Empire. Upholding the tradition established by Cyrus, Darius valued the rights of all people under his rule. The following inscription appears on his tomb: By the favor of the great God I believe in justice and abhor inequity. It is not my desire that the weak man should have wrong done to him by the mighty....Darius' goal was to be a great law-giver and organizer. He structured the empire under the satrapy system (similar to national and local governments). He built many roads, ports, banking houses (the word "check" comes from Old Persian), elaborate underground irrigation systems and a canal to link the Nile to the Red Sea (an early precursor of the Suez Canal). In the 19th century, archeologists in Egypt discovered an inscription by Darius commemorating the completion of the canal: I am a Persian. I commanded to dig this canal from a river by name of Nile which flows in Egypt....After this canal was dug, ships went from Egypt through this canal to Persia, thus as was my desire.
  
  Darius revolutionized mankind's economic activities by introducing one of the earliest (certainly the first on such a massive scale) forms of common coinage in history, the darik. This initiative, along with the standardization of weights and measures and the codification of commercial laws, stimulated world trade and elevated the Persian Empire's economy to new levels of prosperity.
  Reflecting the wealth and the multi-cultural dimension of the Persian Empire, Darius initiated the building of the Persepolis palace. For its construction, artisans and materials were gathered from different corners of the empire. Another project undertaken by Darius was the royal road, the world's longest, extending 1,500 miles (see map). Due to an extensive network of relays, postmen could travel the road in six to nine days, whereas normal travel time was three months. The motto of the Persian postal service became memorable: stopped by neither snow, rain, heat or gloom of night. The US postal service also adopted this motto and the famous Pony Express mail delivery resembled the original Persian design. The origins of polo date back to this time. Persian nobility played an early form of polo for both sport and combat training.
  
  490-479 BC -- In their wars with Persia, the Greek city-states were never a threat to the Persian heartland. What Persia did not achieve through war, it obtained through diplomacy. After the
  Persian-Greek wars ended, Persian kings successfully played the Athenians and Spartans against each other for 150 years. Persia's financial and naval assistance was instrumental in Sparta's victory over Athens in the Great Peloponnesian War. Afterwards, Persia began supporting the Athenians. The Persian influence over the two Greek city-states was such that the Persian King Artaxerxes II was asked to mediate between them, leading to the King's Peace of 387 BC.
  550-334 BC -- The Persian Empire became the dominant world power for over two centuries. It made possible the first significant and continuous contact between East and West. It was the world's first religiously tolerant empire and consisted of a multitude of different languages, races, religions and cultures. Prior to the rise of the Roman Empire, it set a precedent for the importance of the rule of law, a powerful centralized army and an efficient and systematic state administration. However, the greatest legacy of the Persian Empire was that it demonstrated for the first time how diverse peoples can culturally flourish and economically prosper under one central government.
  
  I will do my best to stop this movie. this is the URL address for the petition against this movie, sign it and pass it to all your friends in yahoo, orkut, myspace, send this URL to everybody.
  
  Best regards
  Defender.

• 8 - Richard

  Apr 27, 2007 at 12:43 am

  WOW...desenters. After so many friends and co-workers swore by this movie my wife and I went to see it. We made it about two-thirds through before we couldn't roll our eyes any more and we left.
  sheeesh...crazy?!? Artsy-Fartsy...NO WAY!
  Look, I'm not preaching ANYTHING here. I'm a U.S. Combat Veteran who loves many genre's of movies but...this movie played like an extended orgy of style EMPTINESS. Style has it's place but have you heard the phrase,"would you like some coffee with your sugar?" Before people start throwing rocks, I'll finish. The slow motion footage seemed "over-done" and became very tiring. I felt like I was sitting at a dinner where "CHEEZY" cheesiness was the main course.

• 9 - Tonight we dine at Gringo's

  May 18, 2007 at 12:14 pm

  Defender do the world a favour and pull your head out of the Arabian desert. You need to chill the fuck out. There are way too many Persian people taking this film personally. The film was in fact "reasonably" accurate. Costumes and physical appearance being the main fakes, much of it however was reviewed by a few historians working with the director in order to take a little fact and embellish it with fantasy. 300 was also produced that way so as to give the viewer a Spartan perspective, after all it is called 300 SPARTANS not 250,000 Persians! The Spartans saw these persians as mystical, weak and pathetic, and who wouldn't when there are only 300 of you against 200,000 of them? It's simply dramatized so we get a clear understanding of their point of view. Of how THEY view the Persians. Why do you think they made the Ephors so ugly? The narrator constantly commented on the fact that they were "inbred swine" because they lacked common sense and rationality and relied on the old ignorant ways, not to mention they were corrupt and selfish and cared more about their beliefs than their own country. Again it is being viewed in the eyes of a Spartan however it is dramatized rather than being subtle. It would be interesting if there is a movie out there made by a middle eastern director glorifying the Persians or the Turks for example.
  
  Finally no one gives two shits about the Persians with respect to the movie because IT IS NOT A PERSIAN MOVIE WITH A PERSIAN PERSPECTIVE. You wan't a persian film? Direct one yourself. You want historically accurate? Watch a documentary or read a book. Plain and simple. What your saying is as stupid as calling a history book, crap, because it does not contain "fantasy" and has too much fact and therefore lacks any entertainment value. The whole point of the film is NOT to educate but to entertain. Even IF it is a stab at Persian or Eastern culture, so what? Are you or the rest of Persia that thin skinned and lack confidence in Persian culture so much so that you feel you have to defend your wonderous civilization from a half assed "potshot" at putting down Persian civilization?
  
  By the way if the tables were turned and someone made a movie depicting Greeks as being big time gay lovers with skirts I couldn't care less (yes I'm Greek). Whether the Greek populace generally had gay leanings or not makes no difference to me and doesn't make me feel ashamed of my background.

• 10 - Tonight we dine at Gringo's

  May 18, 2007 at 12:22 pm

  And you can sit there and crap on and on and on about what Persia did or didn't do for the world, we know that already. You don't need to write a thesis up for us to try to defend Persian culture. If Persian culture and history is as glorious and wonderful as it is then no movie is going to change that and the history of Persia will stand.

• 11 - Magildegard

  May 31, 2007 at 2:11 pm

  Hey Daniel,
  Can you spell...
  J.E.A.L.O.U.S.Y??

• 12 - GLORIFIED-SPARTAN

  Aug 08, 2007 at 12:27 am

  I thought this movie was the best movie ever made... I think anyone who doesn't enjoy this must be some super bookworm who reads up on EVERYTHING just to critisize on how they hate it... and that's just sad! the spartans don't deserve this kind of mistreatment. ok?
  
  -GLORIFIED-SPARTAN
  {(haters go hate somewhere else)}

• 13 - DK

  Nov 27, 2007 at 2:37 am

  After reading Defender's post, i thought he was loony. Then about 2 weeks ago, several of my mentees asked me questions about Sparta's history. When I told them the facts, they refused to listen because it clashed with their view via the movie. This was surprising to me, and these youths still believe the Spartans went to war in self defense. Rewriting history and calling it "action" does not magically exempt the movie from being historically accurate. To go to an extreme, if i were to rewrite Rape of Nanking or the Holocaust or the enslavement of blacks that sympathized with the attackers while vehemently barbarise the victims while still using all the stylizations similar to that of 300, there would be a large and noticeable outrage all over the world. It is only because we are ignorant of Persian history and culture that people like poster #9 would say crap like "pull your head out of the Arabian Desert" and "Chill the fuck out." Defender's point is completely valid and relevant, and it is unfortunate you people do not see that. Perhaps it is us who should take our head out our asses.

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