Movie Review: Vacancy

Norman Bates' mom would have approved of the Pinewood Motel. Nestled off the Interstate — way off — it's the ideal place to get away from it all, and have it all put you away: permanently. The noisy late night room service and decrepit amenities are simply to die for, too.

Vacancy is a refreshingly gory-free excursion into terror with classy, mood-setting Bernard Herrmanesque music, a stylish opening credit sequence, and Hitchcockian tension-building suspense with ordinary people caught in extraordinary circumstances, and incompetent police not prepared for what actually goes on at the quiet motel.

Amy and David are the two ordinary people whose failing relationship is in need of some serious bonding. There's nothing like a bunch of psychos trying to kill you to work out the kinks in a rocky marriage and bring you closer together; at least if you can't live together, you might as well die together.

The barbs start flying when Amy wakes up to find they're lost on an empty, winding road; David's shortcut to nowhere. Empty except for that cute little raccoon in the middle of it—hey Dave, watch out! The car skids off the road and breaks something in the process, forcing them to stop at the creepy, desolate, gas-station-stuck-in-time that appears in many horror movies these days.

The attendant pops up, all smiles and giggles—at two in the morning—and gladly helps them out as he pops the hood, does something, then sends them on their merry way with confusing directions to get back on the Interstate and a lit sparkler. Now maybe I'm just naturally paranoid, but I would never trust any overly nice gas station attendant who refuses to be paid and insists on giving you a lit sparkler near flammable gas tanks at two in the morning.

No sooner do they get going when the car breaks down again, forcing them back to the gas station. The attendant is gone now, but say, there's that nice Bates, oops, sorry—Pinewood Motel over yonder. Better rent a room for the night and worry about the car in the morning after a good night's sleep, right?

The screaming and crying they hear when they enter the registration office should have clued them in right away, but David, intent on hitting that annoying bell on the desk, isn’t swayed. Mason, the motel manager, pops his head out to see who it is. He quips about boring nights when they mention the ominous sounds, and he goes back into the office to turn whatever he's watching off.

vacancyWhen you finally get a good look at Mason, you realize he's stuck in time, too. Seventies, I'd say. He's an oily type of creepy, and there’s something sinister behind those beady little eyes of his and that snake-like tilt of the head. He insists on giving them the guest suite that has hot and cold running cockroaches, stiff bed linen that could fold itself, and a wonderful mix of banged-up videotapes filled with lots of screaming, pleading people being horribly killed by Michael Myers wannabes. This is some guest suite.

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Article Author: ILoz Zoc


Founder of the League of Tana Tea Drinkers (LOTT D), expiring writer of Zombos Closet of Horror Blog, and valet to Zombos, the noted B-movie horror actor (to his few remaining and decaying fans).

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Article comments

  • 1 - Chris Beaumont

    Apr 23, 2007 at 7:35 am

    I was very impressed with this, much better than I had expected.

  • 2 - Iloz Zoc

    Apr 23, 2007 at 9:10 am

    It's a good horror flick that reminds us there's more to the genre than torturing tourists to death. I found the most chilling part of it the scene in the office, with all that monitoring and editing equipment.

  • 3 - Chris Beaumont

    Apr 23, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    Yeah.... reminded me of college. LOL
    I loved how tightly focused it was and how well it built the tension, It was not as in your face as it could have been, and it was better off for it. I actually cared about the Foxes and rooted for them to get out.

    I have to go check out Kontroll now.

  • 4 - Lisa McKay

    Apr 23, 2007 at 1:19 pm

    Congratulations! This article has been selected for syndication to Boston.com, where it will be enjoyed by even more readers.

  • 5 - Iloz Zoc

    Apr 23, 2007 at 1:41 pm

    Super, thanks!

  • 6 - Livia

    May 05, 2007 at 4:20 pm

    how long is it? since u all saw it? cause we did not

  • 7 - livia

    May 05, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    hey hey hey ! is livia who is here! omg shoes!

  • 8 - k-dizzog

    Sep 09, 2007 at 5:38 pm

    2+8 = monkey

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