The movie follows an overwrought plot that seems to stretch on and on with no end in sight. Two and a half hours of explosions, metallic crunches, and robots shooting endless amounts of ammo; all the while interspersed with needless dialogue, from clunky characters regurgitating awful writing.
Then the characters run. That’s all they do is run. Running from robots and explosions. Somehow humans are able to outrun explosions but other gigantic robots cannot.
Transformers 2 in pure sequel fashion, tries to introduce far too many characters at one time. Not like we ever care about any of the characters anyway, but with the multitude of new robots being introduced it’s impossible to keep up with them, especially during fight scenes. Hunks of whirring metal machine parts punching other metal machine parts. It’s as indecipherable as the alien writings floating around in Sam’s head. Alien writings you may ask. Did I lose you? Well, that was intentional. Just to give you a glimpse of what you’re in for when you purchase your ticket for Transformers 2.
As the movie lumbers along, any casual movie watcher can see that most of the movie’s scenes or ideas have even been “borrowed” from other films. Ideas and scenes from The Last Crusade, Fifth Element, and Alien are all present. Bay even goes so far as to stick a poster for Bad Boys 2 in the movie. Real subtle.
After all the slow-motion running scenes, after all the giant explosions, and racially stereotypical dialogue from some of the robots, after witnessing the complete disaster that is Transformers 2, each and every person should be offered a refund. And then every print of the film should be taken and dropped as deep into the ocean as Megatron was in the first film. But, sadly that didn't even stop him from coming back.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - jose
i disagree i thought it was great
2 - jimmy
Did you ever occur too you, the writer, that even though it's extremely unfortunate, our world is based on stereotype's and Michael Bay is a genious? Also, i'll let you borrow my sense of humor if you promise to give it back!?
3 - alex
it was great movie i saw it at midnight the line went up the fucking block they had to play it in all there 21 screnes and they were all fucking sold out the movie is probley going make more money then the titanic
4 - Loren
Astute review Aaron. I left the theater with a splitting headache thanks to Michael Bay and his love of indistinguishable explosions.
As for him being a 'genious' as you put it jimmy, I beg to differ. Clint Eastwood, now there is a genius. Transformers made me feel nothing but pain, physical and mental. When I go to a movie, I prefer to be treated as if I am an intelligent being seeking entertainment that will engage me. Not something that will make me cringe at the jokes, the writing, the acting... should I go on?
5 - sticks
why did you go and watch it if you dident like the 1st one you numty loren ... and as for mr review... aron peck.. you are a joke m8 never heard so much shit in my hole life ...ihave been a transformers fan since i was a kid and i think bove movies where exellent
6 - Aaron Peck
sticks, thanks for proving my point of exactly who this film appeals to.
7 - sticks
its for transformers fans and kids [Personal attack deleted by Comments Editor]
8 - sticks
tell me this then mr review ..why is it all the fans love it and all you so called reviewes are saying its shit
9 - DW
"deas and scenes from The Temple of Doom, Fifth Element, and Alien are all present." Can you give examples?
10 - Kelsie Boulton
Nice review! Haven't seen it yet, but I've heard that the movie mainly focuses on Megan Fox's cleveage and robots attacking each other. Maybe Michael Bay thought that a good looking cast would make up for a dunder of a movie?
11 - Aaron peck
DW, I didn't say specific examples in lieu that they would be viewed as "spoilers."
SPOILER ALERT!!!
The Last Crusade [Edited] - Giant sandstone building carved from a mountain side.
Fifth Element - Alien secret found just inside wall of temple that nobody ever seemed to have found or checked before.
Alien - The Fallen, the main bad guy, has an uncanny resemblance to the queen alien from the movie Alien, especially when he is on his spaceship sitting with all of the tubes and things surrounding him. They're even trying to grow little robots, much like how in Alien they are trying to reproduce.
12 - Aaron peck
I apologize, in my haste I meant to write The Last Crusade, and not Temple of Doom. I will get it changed in the review ASAP!
13 - Daniel
Thank you for writing this. Michael Bay repeats his movies, how can he be a genius? The humor in this movie is not funny. Why is there a love story in this? I want to watch transformers duke it out, not humans crying and running everywhere arguing about saying I love you. If the movie was an hour long of just transformers battling I would probably have enjoyed the movie more than the 140 minutes I wasted last night.
14 - sticks
erm its a film about 2 factions of robots what are they meant to do dance with each other instead!!! of course they are attacking each other thats the point of the film.Its a bit of escapisem its not meant to be taken seriously its not shakespere its a fun,special effect laden action movie that appeals to anyone with a decent sense of humour and how on earth is it racist, pc gone mad?
15 - Aaron peck
sticks, the Autobot Twins were extremely racist.
16 - sticks
the giant sandstone building is petra in jordan thousands of years old and been in many more films than just indy so I fail to see how they've copied the last crusade as they didn't have a templar knight guarding the holy grail!
17 - sticks
please clarify how they were racist as I obviously missed that
18 - Aaron peck
The review has been corrected.
19 - llwebb
review was right on. movie was predictable and cheesy.
20 - Call center worker
I have not seen the movie and almost everybody is exited to see this. How come we can not find any downloadable copy
21 - jake
I really find all this very interesting. I havent seen the movie and I will rent it when it comes out. I love these posts, people getting so worked up because a duck a duck. Face it transformers is not ment to cause you to want to change the world when you leave the theater. It isnt going to enlighten your mind. Its not going to teach you something about human character. Its a red bull type action movie. Hot girls cool explosions and some cool CI and action sequences. Its what the movie is ment to be. Saying it sucks or its good is a statement of opinion. Its okay if you liked it. You probably get entertained by laser pens and keggers too. Just kidding but its okay lots of people like just looking at a screen with lots of cool stuff going on for two hours. Its just so funny how angry all of you get over a movie. Heaven forbid something serious happen like your dog dying.
22 - jake
was suppose to read "somebody called a duck a duck"
23 - Silas Kain
Wow, such a scathing review. We just came back from seeing it. Transformers 2 is a visual masterpiece with stunning effects. While the plot is a bit cliche, the jokes and subtleties throughout the movie are quiet entertaining. This is a movie that must be seen twice to catch the jokes missed on the first run. Adults, or mature minded folk will love the hints of Forest Gump and other surprises like the incredible character played by John Benjamin Hickey (a favorite of mine and is Sarah Jessica Parker's best friend) is the best imitation I've seen of Donald Rumsfeld.
I've seen Star Trek six times this season. Terminator, however, didn't even rate a full viewing. Transformers 2 will see me twice more.
24 - Fazreen Ramli
I think that transformers 2 is spectacular! Especially when the parts sam and mikaela running endlessly to get to lennox and team. That was really the climax of the story. Thumbs up to Michael Bay. I'll sure watch it for second time.
25 - quapa
Saw it last night and am in total agreement that it is most of these things. It's predictable. It relies on stereotypes. It hangs most of its load on the beauty of Megan Fox...and it had me entertained and happy for almost two and a half hours. Were you expecting anything else? Really? Nobody was expecting great acting or incredibly meaningful plots. What I, and the rest of the theater, wanted was great special effects and skin. We got it. If you expected anything else then it's you that should be criticized.