Sullied. That's how I felt as I left the screening of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. I felt unclean. Not because of the film's desperate attempts at shocking gore and violence — and it's not as grotesque as it likes to think it is — but because it feels the need to further diminish the legacy of Tobe Hooper's classic original.
Maybe I'm not the best person to ask — I hold the 1974 original in astronomically high regard, considering it to be a true masterpiece of horror — but I would consider The Beginning to be one of the most worthless horror films in recent memory. Marcus Nispel's remake — to which this is a prequel, one of the only things it's actually good at — is one of the few films I've ever disliked enough to feel like walking out of (I didn't, just in case you're curious). And yet it had a certain style; a look and feel to it that at least made it worth something as a piece of cinema.
The Beginning lacks atmosphere, tension, pace, charismatic performances, and — if I'm honest — gore. But I'll address the good things first.
As a prequel, The Beginning does its job well. Both the events surrounding Hoyt's "promotion", and the manner in which one recurring character loses his legs, can't fail to raise a knowing smile. For what it's worth, the continuity between the two films is strong.
The second, and only other good thing about The Beginning, is R. Lee Ermey. It's clear the filmmakers were so pleased with his performance in the remake they wanted to give him more to do here. Ermey spends the film being either deeply unpleasant, highly amusing, or both. They might as well have called the film The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The R. Lee Ermey Show, because that's essentially what it is. If you're a fan, it'll be worth a rental to enjoy his performance.
Having covered all the positives, let's focus on the bad. Sadly, it's the same sorry list again. We have a collection of pretty protagonists we don't care about. There's the younger brother, wallowing in his older brother's shadow. Big Bro is a Vietnam veteran, who's returning to kill a few more gooks with Little Bro under his wing. Accompanying these two thin clichés are their girlfriends: the dark haired feisty one, and the busty, blond, slightly rebellious one, who doesn't want Little Bro — her boyfriend — to go off to war.
Article comments
1 - Joan Hunt
I really, really loved your review of the movie, Daniel. I laughed more reading this than I have over other articles which should have been funny, but failed to deliver as you did here.
I wish I could say you made me want to go see this flick based on the strength of the review, but I gave up on horror movies long ago. Once you've dated someone who turns out to be an actual murderer, kill-thrill movies just seem wrong.