After a brief spat in the palace Mathayus flees and becomes a fugitive in his own lands. Travels to Egypt with a pretty little lady friend named Astarte, played by a hot girl of little importance other than she too looked like she stepped off a set, this time Laguna Beach, and into this movie. She even talks like it too, which is even more annoying. Along the way they meet up with various characters, a poet who knows far more about nothing than anyone would ever care about and a group of fighters that somehow knew Mathayus’ Father.
Deep into the Underworld they travel…sorry, did I lose you? Are you sitting there saying, Underworld? Do you mean the real Underwold? Like Hell? Why are they going to the Underworld in the first place? Now you know what it’s like to watch this movie. It pinballs from one absurd plot point to the other without any reasoning at all, except that of the poet’s, but he’s far too whiny for any of us to care about.
The special effects here are not much more fantastic as those from a creature feature on the Sci-Fi channel, or that of 1959’s Journey to the Center of the Earth. The giant scorpion at the end should be used in CGI classes across the country on what not to do when animating a giant scorpion. Most of the time the scorpion is invisible, obviously to save as much money as possible, with an invisible giant scorpion all the special effects team had to do was blow up a few pillars of rock and send debris flying in all directions. But, when it’s actually shown it makes the scorpion at the end of the second Mummy movie look like it was created by Pixar.
I really wanted to like this movie. The first Scorpion King is a laughfest yes, but it’s fun to watch. This movie is painful. Couture may be able to beat people’s heads in in real life, but one of the things he cannot do is act. It’s like watching a train wreck that is so gruesome you have to look away. You’re not even morbidly interested to see how it turns out.
Article comments
1 - justin
Okay, first of all, you better watch your back because this wrestling guy, Couture, is gonna be after you. I’d bet good money you’re one of only a handful of people who actually reviewed this movie.
Next, I was always under the impression that The Mummy series was a spoof on something else. I mean, Brendan Frasier is bad enough, but Brendan Frasier in a trilogy? List that on ‘things I never thought would happen in my lifetime.’
Finally, I’d think after five movies the whole “Mystical Egyptian” meme is pretty much played out. They’d be better off pulling a George Lucas and letting this series simmer on the back burner for, oh, I don’t know, thirty years or so, and then resurrecting it with whatever Hollywood hype will exist circa the year 2040. Don’t tell me Brendan Frasier doesn’t have that “destined for the Lifetime channel/Mark Hamill” vibe about him. It’s kismet!
2 - Lucas
So was the smoke monster from Lost also carrying the Boo Box from Hook? That is cool!
3 - Aaron
EXACTLY Lucas!
Actually a movie about The Somke Monster vs. The Boo Box would've been a hundred times more exciting.
4 - soul
I liked the movie. I liked the plot, the actors, the characters and everything about it.
And about the Underworld, I think it's reasonable why it's included in the plot. The reviewer just don't want to mention why.
I liked it.
Losers are those who don't.