"Yes, they are a crazy bunch at times," I agreed, shaking a little black pepper onto his culinary masterpiece. I wonder if he'll do that nyotaimori thing where they use a naked girl as a dinner plate to serve sushi and sashimi. Hmmm... that might not be a good idea for him, now I think of it. Maybe he'll — no, I doubt he'd go for that other odd trend of theirs, where a fake body is made out of food so you can operate on it and eat whatever you find inside. The thing actually bleeds as you cut it and the intestines and organs inside are completely edible they say. Cooked I think. Wait a minute; that might be something for our Halloween party. What do you think? We could bake up a life-sized meatloaf zombie, with all the rotten--"
"Must you?" asked Zombos, a forkful of omelette poised at his lips. "You know, since you're up, you should finish that review for Bestial: Werewolf Apocalypse. Then perhaps move on to more pressing things like finishing the review for the Alone In the Dark Wii game, or maybe even Karloff's The Mummy Special Edition DVD review, or — and I'm brainstorming here — perhaps even tackle some of those Permuted Press books — that pile is not getting any shorter you know. Halloween is just around the corner and you'll need to pick up the slack a bit. Why, you might even try finishing that Bartholomew of the Scissors comic book you left out on the library table, you know, the one that scared Zombos Jr's wits clear to Sunday thinking it was an Archie comic, or maybe — and I am really going out on the limb of possibilities here — post that Sundays With Vlad review, the one you should have posted last September.
A forkful of omelette was now poised at my lips. Chef Machiavelli took pity on me and handed back the ketchup bottle. "Sure," I said, "I'll get right on it after breakfast. First things first, though."
As I savored my hearty breakfast before attending to the chores of the day, I wondered if Dr. Yuji Kotorida, the nebbish plastic surgeon to the rich and famous, in director Osamu Fukutani's The Last Supper (Saigo no bansan), felt as overwhelmed with it all as I did. At least I had Chef Machiavelli's golden touch with food to provide comfort. All Kotorida had was liposuctioned fat from his fat cat clients. With long, juicy close-ups of it sizzling in his frying pan, I found myself stopping and starting the movie until my stomach adjusted accordingly. Clearly, The Last Supper is not a film to watch before any meal — or listen to for that matter. While it spends little money on realistic body parts (they look more like Halloween props), more effort is spent to get those ripping, squishy-squashy-spongy sounds just right as Kotorida prepares his meals. I still get queasy thinking about them and the sound of the liposuctioned fat, in all its greasy-gloppy glory, cooking on the stove.





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