This year marks a milestone for me — it is the first year I will vote in the annual Razzie Awards. In preparation for this I decided to immerse myself in the world of truly wretched filmmaking by enduring a two-week Razzie marathon. This serves two purposes: to act as a reference for the awful films released this year, and so that when the Razzie ballot lands on my doormat in December I have the depth of knowledge to inform my vote in the Worst of the Decade Awards. The marathon will consist of as many films as I can watch. They will range from I Know Who Killed Me to Gigli and everything in between.
For the opening movie in the marathon I chose the current Worst Picture “winner,” The Love Guru.
The title sequence of The Love Guru basically consists of Mike Myers singing an Indian version of Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5”, in a stereotypical Indian accent and while scantily clad Indian ladies dance in the typical Bollywood style. This tells you that you are in for 87 minutes of brutally unfunny jokes and borderline racist representation of Hindus and Indians. This film is also offensive to dwarves, anyone with a brain cell, and Mariska Hargitay, who actually appears in the film.
The film’s plot revolves around Guru Pitka (Myers) being hired by the owner of an ice hockey team (Jessica Alba) to reunite their star player (Romany Malco) with his estranged wife (Meagan Good). On top of that, Justin Timberlake plays the subtly named Jacques “Le Coq” Grande, a player for the rival team and also the wife’s new boyfriend. What ensues is 87 minutes of laugh-free, awkward, and crass jokes that seem like they were written by a five-year-old. This is even more shocking when you learn that screenplay was written by Myers himself and co-screenwriter Graham Gordy.
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