Movie Review: Millionaire's Express

A good decade or so before Hong Kong action superstar Jackie Chan and the least compelling half of the Wilson brothers attempted to inject a little Old West attitude into the ropey veins of the American martial arts genre, director extraordinaire Sammo Hung unleashed the star-studded kung fu epic Millionaire's Express onto the Chinese population. Packed to the rafters with all sorts of nifty talent, Hung's ambitious star-studded project makes Chan's Hollywood opus look rather sickly in comparison. More importantly, it succeeds at delivering kick-friendly laughs without the nasally comic stylings of the one they call Crooked Nose.

And thank the God Cthulhu for that.

Now that the Weinsteins have their chubby, crumb-covered mitts all over an enormous selection of quality Hong Kong flicks, they've made the questionable decision to use a few alternate titles to peddle their wares onto the ill-informed American population. Corey Yuen's Righting Wrongs becomes Above the Law, while Hung's Millionaire's Express has been genetically transmutated into Shanghai Express, apparently to capitalize on the success of Chan's dodgy Western franchise. How impossibly clever! I've never seen anyone use that particular tactic before in my entire life. Jolly good show, boys.

Like Dolph Lundgren's The Mechanik, I absolutely refuse to refer to this entertaining motion picture by its silly American moniker. Though the DVD artwork may proclaim this film to be Shanghai Express, it will forever be known as Millionaire's Express in my cinematic notebook.

Thankfully, the titles are the only changes genre arm Dragon Dynasty has made to the film, allowing Region 1 owners to finally experience the near brilliance of Sammo's 1986 insanely kinetic action/comedy in all its glory. However, the usual cuts to most European prints of the flick still apply, though we are mercifully spared from being verbally assaulted by a truly horrendous English dub track generally associated with the glut of the Weinstein's martial arts releases. Perhaps separating themselves from Dimension was a step in the right direction after all.

Millionaire's Express has quite a few interesting storylines zipping about wildly at any given moment, so I'll just give you the basics as opposed to stuffing your feeble mind with every single twist and turn contained within the picture. Tubby kung fu master Sammo Hung stars as Cheng, a disgraced four-eyed con artist who returns to his birthplace in hopes of salvaging what's left of his hometown's financial stability. Unfortunately, our chunky hero's glorious return isn't exactly what he'd anticipated, due in part to the recent robbery of the local bank by the town's own inept security force, an event which has left nimble fire chief Tsao Kin (Yuen Biao) in charge of policing the streets.

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Article Author: T. Rigney

T. Rigney was specifically designed for the mass consumption of B-grade cinema from around the world. His roughly translated thoughts and feelings can be found lurking suspiciously at The Film Fiend, Fatally Yours, and Film Threat. …

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