In a way, Kicking and Screaming reminds me of the kind of movies often made fun of on Mystery Science Theater 3000: it’s hilarious at all the wrong times. Sure there are a couple small chuckles to be honestly had in the course of this family sports comedy, but it’s the ludicrous plot points all along the way that had me in stitches.
I won’t ever bother with a traditional spoiler warning here, as the film’s final plot points don’t deserve even that modicum of dignifying. Will Ferrell plays Phil Weston, a loser suffering through an abusive relationship with his father (a cinematically slumming Robert Duvall) who always bests him at everything he does. Phil’s father “trades” his grandson to another kids’ soccer team (which I wasn’t aware could be done) and when no one else volunteers to coach this other, mysteriously coachless team (apparently every other parent would rather forfeit their games) Phil steps in. So will this reluctant coach end up taking his team of ragtag misfits to the Finals and beat his father’s impressive team? Of course he will. You should know that before you even set foot in the theater. What counts is the journey--how the kids get better and their coach finds his purpose. That’s the heart and soul of every underdog sports movie. It would have been nice if Kicking and Screaming had anything like that. Instead we get Phil telling the kids at the final game--you ready for this?--“do the opposite of what I told you before.” Suddenly, every loser on the team starts pulling tricks out of their back pockets while Phil’s dad’s team seems to freeze dumbstruck. After that quick and easy, last-minute “save,” which I have no doubt took the screenwriters all of ten seconds to come up with, suddenly characters start making 180 degree turns out of nowhere with absolutely no regard for anything that they did before. Phil gets some seemingly heartfelt admiration for his coaching abilities (“do the opposite of what I told you before” must really sound like brilliant coaching to some people), his dad hands over the prized soccer ball he initially stole from his son and Phil hands it back out of, oh, let’s guess respect or something like that. The scene is a crack-up, much funnier than Phil’s dad playfully kicking a small child into the pool or Phil attempting to cut a side of beef with a chainsaw.
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