Movie Review: Ivory Bastards Against Extinction

Author: gettePublished: Jul 15, 2008 at 11:54 pm 0 comments

If you like cheesy satire with frequent potty-mouth jokes and sharp pop cultural references, then you'll love Ivory Bastards Against Extinction. This independent short, directed and co-written by Jonathan Case and Timothy Ferlito — both of whom star in the movie — was filmed in Charlotte, North Carolina and Syracuse, New York in 2007. The film alleges to be a restoration of a pair of lost episodes from the 1973 Mexican television series of the same name. The filmmakers did a spot-on parody of a 1970s television action series, with raw special effects, grainy film, Moog organ, and the inimitable fashions of that decade. The sets and costumes are perfect. The filmmakers continue the parody of a low-budget foreign film with the off-timed dubbing typically associated with martial arts films.

The Ivory Bastards are alien Lucha Libre – masked Mexican wrestlers – who were sent to Earth to protect the human race several generations ago. The current group is perceived as weaker than Ivory Bastard teams of generations past and thus is disrespected by many humans. The fab four includes the leader Fango Electrico, the belligerent and chronically horny El Cojo Mente, the studly Cancera, and the suicidal Dr. Head. The plot, such as it is, involves a stolen fetus, a coke-snorting President of the United States of the Americas, and "Transhumans," human-animal hybrids who thrive on pollution, creatures that are "the best part of human and animals combined into one ferocious bundle of hate, instinct, and raw sexuality."

The dialogue is rife with even more cheesiness. Consider these quotes:

"I wouldn't trust you to protect a pork chop at the Wailing Wall!"

"But sweetheart! I protect the planet! I can't always give you the time that…"

"Fetuses are stolen every day. What's the big deal?"

Continued on the next page Page 1 — Page 2

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Article Author: gette

Georgette Nicolaides is a writer, musician, and visual artist. She plays noisy violin in the ambient/psychedelic project Atlantic Drone and is currently reading about eight different books. &#@%$ ADD! …

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