The next time you decide to sink your crusty yellow teeth into one of those moist, juicy, fast food hamburgers, ask yourself the following questions: Was this meat carved from the belly of a genetically-engineered cow? Was this unfortunate creature born with over 80% more beef than your average American bovine? Was it conceived in a madman's dream as opposed to a farm teeming with beautiful green grass and mountains of financial debt?
The answer may surprise you. Shock you, even. I'll spare you the gruesome details of the white stringy things I picked out of the last burger I ate, but let it be known that I believe them to be remnants of some poor scientist's threadbare sweater.
If you're the type of basement-dwelling psychopath who thrives on such macabre ponderings, perhaps a viewing of Billy O'Brien's frightening Irish horror flick Isolation is in order. After all, it gives you a glimpse of the seedy side of rogue genetic fiddling, right down to the mutant offspring and multiple gnawed corpses. It'll make you question the ethics of that brilliant scientist sitting beside you at your mother's next high-profile dinner party. Be as friendly as you like, but do NOT shake their hand. You never know what kind of gooey infected cow opening they've had that thing in. Better to be safe than sorry, you know.
It appears that a down-on-his-luck farmer, a small town animal doctor, and a shady scientist are hatching a nefarious scientific scheme using some admittedly backyard techniques. Instead of doing their shifty work in some shiny office park in upstate New York, they seem content with the putrid surroundings of the farmer's muddy land, where animal crap flows like majestic chocolate rivers. What a glorious mental image.
Unfortunately for the rest of us, their lack of proper funding has caused quite a few freakish hiccups in their overall game plan. The end result, of course, is nothing short of horrifying. With the help of a young runaway couple, our heroes must contain these deadly genetic abominations before they contaminate the world.
I'll stop there, seeing as how Isolation works best when you have no idea what's lurking just around the corner. O'Brien's deliberate pacing keeps the plot moving without showing its hand too soon. Though there's a part of me that wants to say the film is perhaps a bit too slow, I do think the decision to keep things nice and steady works in the film's favor overall. Not a whole lot happens over the course of the picture, mind you, but what does take place will surely etch itself into your horror-starved little mind. Assuming, of course, you're not one of those genre fanboys (or girls) who has the attention pan of a meth-addicted gnat. In this case, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.
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