Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull is just another death-knell for filmmaking as a legitimate artistic medium. The bells have been ringing for the better part of the last twenty years, so it’s forgivable that few notice the erosion anymore. It represents the triumph of movies as expensive theme park rides – devoid of substance, merit, and fun.
With hundreds of millions of dollars invested in their production, these box office behemoths are equipped with safety belts, shoulder harnesses, and excess padding. No risk is too small and nothing is left to chance. The casting, product placement, and story design are engineered like a Volvo. Every creative decision is informed by fiscal safety over artistic need. The collective talent of everyone involved is focused as much on the placement of the Harley brand as any interest in the story being told.
In the end, the audience is more at fault here than the studio. If you will see it, they will film it. The true cost isn’t the fiscal rewards of unimaginative filmmaking; it’s crowding everything else but empty noise out of the marketplace. If you wanted to see a movie this weekend, your choices were largely limited to Indy, Iron Man, Prince Caspian, and if you were lucky, What Happened In Vegas.
In another decade, all that will be left on theatrical screens will be the safety-first rollercoasters of sequels, remakes, and mindless digital spectacle. New digital distribution formats are opening up all over the place, so intelligent and quality entertainment won’t disappear, but it will be shoved to more mundane outlets. Errol Morris’ stunning documentary Standard Operating Procedure deserves to be seen on the big screen and good luck finding it in a theater near you.
All the things that made the first (and second) Indiana Jones movies so much fun can’t be replicated. Memory is cruel and nostalgia is a bitch. Time and time again, audiences will race off to see something they once loved, but it turns out it’s like watching the corpse of a re-animated pet. It’s depressing that crowds flock to theaters to look backward instead of forward. Every endless rain of sequels all started with an original, and the magic of that first kiss exerts an unavoidable pull back to the theaters that overrides all reason and common sense.
As long as people keep Googling their exes, studios will keep cranking out sequels. Like those awkward get-togethers, the memory might be nice, but once the magic is gone, no amount of CGI Aztec pyramids will bring it back.Sadly, it’s all too true.
Article comments
1 - Brad Schader
Great and original review. I like the approach of writing a review based on what you think going into a movie and comparing it to what you think after. I would love to read more like this actually. I smell a feature =D
2 - Paisley and Plaid
I agree. But my shallow reaction has to do with age: Jones, Marion -- three decades of "experience" makes for interesting people, but not necessarily the appeal a film requires. Sorry.
3 - El Bicho
Very good and funny review, JW.