"Well, what is it?" asked Zombos. He was cowering in back of Glenor Glenda, our usually highly strung maid.
"Wait a minute, my flashlight died again," I said, rapping it against the floor of the closet. It flickered into dull life. I was deep into Zombos' closet. Glenor had been doing her monthly dusting and tidying up when she came running to us, frightened out of her wits by what she discovered in his closet.
"It's a big one," I said, looking at the jagged four-foot hole in a rear wall of the closet. My flashlight failed again, leaving me crouching in the gloom. The closet lighting system was not working. Whatever caused the hole must have knocked it out also.
"Is anything missing?" asked Zombos, still cowering behind our trembling maid.
"Yes, I believe so. The shelves that were on this wall are gone," I said. "Let me think, what was in this corner? Oh, yes, the Troma Entertainment archives are gone."
"No great loss," said Zombos.
"And the Hammer archives."
"Damn!" said Zombos. "What about the Universal Studios archives?"
"Luck! I moved those last week. The Ed Wood shelf is missing, though." I added.
"Lord, no, not that!" cried Zombos. "What about Plan 9 From Outer Space?"
"Not here."
"Curses! The bastards!" yelled Zombos.
"Wait a minute: I found half of the Glen or Glenda DVD."
"What?" asked our maid.
"Not you, the DVD," I told her.
"Which half?" asked Zombos.
"Not sure," I replied.
"What ?" she asked again.
"Lord love a duck! Nothing! Never mind." I said. "It looks like it was chewed a bit, though." There was slimy, sticky residue on it.
"Chewed?" asked Zombos.
"Yes, chewed. By an amazingly large mouth judging by the size of these bite marks." I realized what I had just said and quickly retreated from the closet.
"I would suggest the exterminator be called in, " I told Zombos, dusting off my clothes.
He turned to Glenor. "Glenor, get Delbirt the exterminator over here right now." She hurried off.
While we waited for the exterminator, I popped House into the DVD player in the study and went for the Claret. Zombos needed a bit of calming down, and I knew Steve Miner's 1986 horroromedy would be a good choice.
Written by Ethan Wiley--from a story by Fred Dekker--William Katt (loved him in Greatest American Hero!) plays Roger Cobb, a flashback-plagued Vietnam veteran who has mysteriously lost his son, and is estranged from his wife. He is also a Stephen King-styled writer suffering from writer's block, and still doing book signings for his year-old last novel. With his agent on his back, and unresolved conflicts simmering in his subconscious, he is angst-ridden, a little jumpy, and superbly played by Mr. Katt.
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Article comments
1 - Aaron Fleming
How could you not tear your heart out at the loss of the Troma shelf!?! If it were me I'd be crying toxic tears of Trent Haaga's smirk for months!
As for House, I don't think I ever saw the first one, but I do have a VHS of House 2 lying around somewhere. I must track down that original.
2 - Iloz Zoc
Aaron, I know, Zombos said it, not me. I love House 2: The Second Story also. The mix of horror and fantasy in both 1 and 2 is super.
3 - Aaron Fleming
Ah apologies, but shame on Zombos!
House 2's very enjoyable, a particularly amusing turn from that guy from Ellen.
4 - Mat Brewster
When I saw the subject, I thought it refered to the current TV series. I looked past that because of your name Sir Zoc. I'm glad I did.
I haven't seen House or House II since I was a kid. Looks like I'm gonna have to add this to my blockbuster queue and relive its glory.