Europeans. What a buncha scraggy-jawed whisky-gummed devil-cocked maniacs. What a hive a deplorable backwards scummery that ol' Europe truly is. Look at them there, wi their trees an their fields an their streets all ash-grey pavilions an passageways. Look at them all shaven-headed an sneerin, all high on the "drugs" or soaked wi the "sex". Look at them, all rural even in the densest cosmopolitan sweeps.
Look at those filthy Europeans, murderin' an slaughterin' an sexin' out wedlock.
So says Hostel, bein Eli Roth's follow-up to the immeasurably more fun Cabin Fever, so says this opus a torture an depravity an toes bein crushed wi pliers.
That it's exceptionally good, fantastic even, well, done nulled a fair ol' chunk a the xenophobic rantin right there.
A good horror flick, y'unnerstann, can gleefully present the kinda vile stereotypes an offensive representations scarcely no other genre can get away with.
Gon' play on all those fears you got regardin havin the eyes plucked out your face by way o' a cheeky solderin iron, yes, but also, look at these other fears gon' slap you upside the shit-myself-glands. Fear of other cultures an religions, fear of the rural dispossessed, fear of lonely people an fear of society in general.
Horror flicks get away wi it all, on account of if they're good, ain't no one gon' have time to notice the potentially rancid nature of the ideological shenanigans, an also, chances are there's gon' be some play goin on that forces a fella to ask why these things scare him, anyroad? Just what kinda vile fuck might you be, oh western viewer sat there all smug front the TV size o' a council estate an the gut from here t'Pluto?
So Deliverance says aye, you're scared a these demented hillbilly banjo-pluckin arse-degraders, but how much a that buck-yapped sneer might you yourself be responsible for?
So Cannibal Holocaust says oh jimminy-fucks, look at these big ol' brown faced monsters, but who's to blame for the deplorable gut-shreddin antics in the final act? An who's scarier, the natives or the madmen unmistakably stinkin o' us?
An so on an so forth.
An so to Hostel, bein the subject an the title an the very pulsin balls a this highly confrontational word-wank.
Past couple years, y'unnerstann, Hollywood been goin out its fuck-flecked skull-mush tryin t'keep up wi those crazy Asian cats. Turns out folks are all the keen in the world for to go catch a picture concerns a woman done died in the fuckin face way back when, an now there she is, crawlin down the stairs all jerk-limbed an freaky eyeballs.
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Article comments
1 - Aaron Fleming
Excellent stuff as always Duke. All your Japanese gore talk makes me wanna rewatch Mermaid In A Manhole. Plus this Roth business, must keep the eyes peeled for it.
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
thank you, sir fleming. almost made me wanna rewatch Mermaid too. then i thought better of it an opted for somethin a bit more pleasant. which turned out to be Capturing The Friedmans by way of Channel 4. fucks sakes. but now the premier a the new Morrissey video, an then American Idol, so it all evens out.
3 - DJRadiohead
Duke, you almost make these horror flicks appealing to me with your manic writing and prolific and excellent use of fuckery and the like. Well done, sir. Enjoyed the hell out of this.
4 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
thanks DJ! i been in a bit of a slump, which is passin now, but i think this is a bit of a shitty review which serves primarily as a means to batter myself t'wards gettin stuff written again. i may have to put up wi crap flyin out my hands for a while before i get anythin i like.
nonetheless, thank you sir, an maybe you should take yourself in the direction a the horrific for a time, see what happens. maybe that can be your next quest - to watch ten horror flicks of fine quality an report it accordingly!
5 - DJRadiohead
Duke, one of the worst kept secrets in all the world is that I have a weak stomach and the visual gore is something I just don't have the constitution for. I am much better suited for (and this is either a homage or a blatant rip off of your ownself) listening to hours of songs about how my baby done me bad.
Strange coincidence: I was just startin' to listen to some Ryan Adams minutes before I stumbled onto Sir Smyth's excellent review of the Adams' concert he attended. That could be the genesis of some parallel universe horror flick wherein the depressive episode brought upon by a night of cigarettes, booze, cheap women, and Ryan Adams music causes massive carnage and the like.
Perhaps I should leave the horror writin' to the professionals.
6 - DJRadiohead
Am I mistaken or did Tarantino produce this one?
7 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
DJ, Tarantino did indeed have his big ol' forehead all over the production duties on this. He an Roth are all sortsa buds, an it stands to reason, i supose. Both a them are obsessed wi grindhouse carnage an bringin such glorious monstrosities back up front the mainstream. Good for them, i say.
An i'd rather have a Roth that hangs with Tarantino than one that hangs with David Lynch, who executive produced Cabin Fever.
8 - Eric Berlin
I think they even marketed this one as "Quentin Tarantino Presents" a la that rather great Asian action flick from last year, can't remember the name.
Nonetheless, another slice of Duke greatness lies right here, outstanding man !
9 - al
movie is sick!