Movie Review: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children - Page 2

Just to be original, the story takes place in a post-apocalyptic world, what a surprise. What’s more, they have the inescapable crappy music. Why must all Japanese anime/CG movie have cheesy piano as a score or 80s glam-metal guitar? They bust out big crazy budgets to make these high-end animation movies and the music sucks as bad as it did in Robotech back in the 80s. Think Minmey, it’s just horrible.

The characters are all flat and two dimensional and by that I mean personality wise, not pixilation. And during a grueling boss fight near the end, characters start popping out of the blue, characters who were nowhere to be seen during the movie. And there’s a cat riding on a mutated tiger who can speak. Wacked-out metal plated “hyenas” who come out of the ground as wisps of smoke. Then during a superbly well crafted combat scene of Matrix worthiness, the bad guy with glam hair and heavy armor gets buried under rubble, and gets out answering his cell phone with an annoying ring tone. Just how does a post-apocalyptic world keep a cell phone service up and running? It’s all very confusing.

Is there anything good in this movie? Huh, hell yeah, the production quality. The imagery is insanely gorgeous and perfectly executed. Think of the masterful work done by Square Enix in The Spirits Within and Final Flight of the Osiris (Animatrix) and then multiply that by 40. The fight scenes when not going over the top are sublime and merit some kind of prize. The weapons' design, as goofy as they can be in their size, are so slick and cool you can’t help but want one, just like when you were a kid and saw the light-saber for the first time. And Cloud’s bike comes close to out-cooling Kaneda’s uber-bike in Akira.

In short, this movie is visually jaw-dropping perfect but the story is over-complicated and inundated with girly looking men and a mushy new-agey ending that is puke-worthy.

A 2 outta 5 and only because each frame of this movie is a visual pièce de resistance.

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Article Author: David Desjardins

Dave works in the IT industry despite his better judgment. He’s an artist at heart with a critical mind. He enjoys photography more than he could ever express. Dave feels a need to tweak his brain with copious amounts of taurine to stay sharp while absorbing all kinds of media on any medium. …

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  • 1 - Ken Edwards

    May 21, 2006 at 8:39 am

    So because you didn't play FFVII, and do not know much about the FF universe, you did not like the movie? That seems like a fair assessment.

    It is also unfortunately the downfall of this movie -- it caters too much to people who have played the game, and have grown up with the understanding of the entire FF series.

    Story wise, Spirits Within worked better for general audiences, but was too shallow for the target audience. It is odd how this movie is the exact opposite.

    It has got to be confusing as hell unless you are a fan. If you are, every minute of the movie holds something familiar and nostalgic.

    And the ring tone had me in stiches the first time I heard it. It still brings a smile to my face every time I see the movie.

    It is just a shame the DVD took so long to come out here in the US. Now I have it English, but that leaves something to be desired. Still, the English DVD release is great, with a number of extras.

    One of those is a "Reminiscence" featurette that tells the story of the FFVII game. This is good for people who did not slave away hours of their lives playing it (not as if that is a bad thing).

  • 2 - JELIEL³

    May 21, 2006 at 4:29 pm

    Well I watched it in Japanese. I did not like this movie because it gave no points of reference. You have to have played this game to understand the movie. Plus it had the regular gambit of low-budget anime, which on big budgets should be left behind.

  • 3 - Corpsegoddess

    May 22, 2006 at 4:46 pm

    So you admit that you don't like RPG's, let alone the Final Fantasy series, basically in your first couple of sentences. And yet somebody asked you to review this movie and you said yes why?

    You obviously don't understand bishonen, or you'd get the "breastless women". You don't understand the story line, or the game. In fact, it appears through your own admission, that you enjoy very little besides bluntly and classlessly rampaging around a landscape leaving a swath of testosterone-laden destruction in your wake.

    Maybe you should be reviewing "Doom" instead. I think that's much more suited to your less-than-subtle capabilities. You probably gave that movie a higher rating, anyway.

    Next time, stick with something you know and like, instead of simply reviewing something so you can come off all cool and anti-fanboy, okay?

  • 4 - JELIEL³

    May 22, 2006 at 6:42 pm

    Damn fanboys/girls are all the same. (To understand what I mean check out the X-Play boards)

    Just like Shatner to the trekkies, get a life.

  • 5 - JELIEL³

    May 22, 2006 at 7:08 pm

    Oh and here's my DOOM REVIEW

  • 6 - Dennis

    May 25, 2006 at 12:26 am

    Why are you reviewing this movie? You don't know squat about Final Fantasy VII. You can use the fanboy/girl insult all you want here, but the fact of the matter is you have no business reviewing this film with your biased, uninformed opinions.

  • 7 - JELIEL³

    May 25, 2006 at 7:57 am

    Oh Oh Another upset fanboy. I shouldn't review games or anime UNLESS I'm an absolute fanboy myself and will shower it with worship? Or what? You'll climb out of the basement and go cry to your mommy?

    Man some folks are addicted to the use of the word BIAS. I'll accuse him of BIAS, it works well to shut people up, works everytime, yeah that's the ticket... NOT!

    Everytime I review a movie, it's following one I've never seen, therefore know nothing about. Your argument means that there would be no reviews made EVER. Talk about vicous circular thinking...

  • 8 - Eddie

    May 25, 2006 at 3:14 pm

    I liked the movie, though I never got to play through the whole game. Two things:

    1) The score and music for Robotech was original for the U.S. shows (including Minmei's songs if I'm not mistaken). The soundtrack for the Japanese shows were completely different.

    2) The whole androgenous look is popular for certain cultures and times. As odd as it is for a mainstream U.S. audience, I don't think the film suffers because of it. It helps to remember that it's foreign.

  • 9 - JELIEL³

    May 25, 2006 at 3:44 pm

    1) The score and music for Robotech was original for the U.S. shows (including Minmei's songs if I'm not mistaken). The soundtrack for the Japanese shows were completely different.

    Quite Possible. But the music is mass produced anime is usualy crappy, original or translation. The budget isn't there. but in the case of FF which has this INSANELY FANTASTIC orchestral composer (names eludes me) they still went for the piano and glam metal.

    2) The whole androgenous look is popular for certain cultures and times. As odd as it is for a mainstream U.S. audience, I don't think the film suffers because of it. It helps to remember that it's foreign.

    It did suffer for me... I just couldn't tell. I see plenty of foreing movies and the only time I've seen such girly men was because the character was in drag.

  • 10 - Chuck Turner

    May 26, 2006 at 3:00 am

    JELIEL, I don't think anyone could sum this movie up better than you did. I've played Final Fantasy VII a few years ago and beat it. I guess I understood the "plot" for the most part.

    All I can do is agree with you, I just finished watching it about 20 minutes ago. When "Kadaj" spoke a male voice it took me a few seconds to realize it was a dude... The plot lost me, I either forgot what "Life Energy" (or something) was or the script was written by someone on mescaline. I have to admit the visuals in this movie are PHENOMENAL, that's pretty much the only thing that kept me going. A few parts were kind of cool and brought me back to the FFVII world, and the fighting was pretty cool.

    This is definitely NO masterpiece, but holy SHIT this is worth watching just for the stunning computer graphics. I like Cloud's big ass sword too.

  • 11 - JELIEL³

    May 26, 2006 at 8:50 am

    Thank you Chuck. Nice to see a gamer not go ape shit over a bad review.

  • 12 - Dennis

    May 27, 2006 at 1:17 pm

    How old are you? You sound like the little kids on the boards, shouting fanboy/girl everytime somebody opposes them.

  • 13 - JELIEL³

    May 27, 2006 at 3:19 pm

    My age is irrelevant. Fanboys/girls should take a look at their own behavior. When I attented a viewing of the Silent Hill movie, I was surrounded with fanboys screaming at the screen and utering all the usual leet speek and internet board lingo most fanboys use. I felt like I was with a bunch of 6th graders looking at a naked girl on the screen. And I look around and most people are in there 20s and 30s.

    And if you read the comments PROPERLY, you'll notice that it's fanboys/girls that came out an attacked. I just made a review and it upset the balance of their little universe. You guys don't get called disgruntled fanboys for nothing you know. There's a reason behind it. I didn't like the movie, big f'ing deal. It wasn't a personal attack on it's fans, but the fanboys ALWAYS take it personnaly.

    Like I say to people upset over a loss and calling me a cheater, botter and a slew of other names, it's just a game, relax.

    Now breath, that is real.

  • 14 - Rain

    May 27, 2006 at 11:07 pm

    lol.. i liked the phone ringer.. it was the end battle song in all the ff7 battles.. and since we did slave away for hours it was a nice touch.. because it kinda sticks in ya head =)

    as for the review.. was amuseing but that guy is right.. somone who knew somthing about it should of reviewd it.. thats like telling somone whos alergic to peanuts to test taste a range of peanut butters.. =)

    i found the film.. nice.. it could of been more indepth like the games.. but.. for a film.. it did itself good.. =)

  • 15 - Jacob Leslie

    Jun 01, 2006 at 2:47 pm

    The music is mindblowing, you're such a moron, you understand anything and you didn't like the music because you suck.. lol goddamnit you suck

  • 16 - Dave (aka Jeliel³)

    Jun 01, 2006 at 3:12 pm

    See what I mean Dennis?

  • 17 - Snowman

    Aug 13, 2006 at 6:16 am

    I found the movie to be very well done. the music was cool. the highlight of the movie was how they expressed sephiroth. After seeing it I realised he is the ultimate bad ass enemy compared to any bad dude in any other movie. Im a fan of the final fantasy game series but I am not a "Die Hard" fan so I would have to agree with some of the comments in the review. Mostly the girly lookin dudes part. Ah well after you get over it it turns out to be a good movie. They probably shoudlve made the FF7 game into a movie then have made Advent Children after. They probably wouldve gotten better reviews then.

  • 18 - Luke

    Aug 22, 2006 at 3:47 am

    "girly man"
    so you don't like man that
    1) dosen't have bodyhair
    2) know how to dress
    3) know how to do their hair
    4) have a style other than t-shirt/jeans
    5) who u often lable gay/metro

    now, maybe in the US girls digs buff guys that acts tough and throws on a t-shirt and drinks beer, but at least 1/2 the population of the world like these "girly man"

    "crappy music"
    The music is "crappy" is because its actually complicated electronic composition of "game background music" used to service the fans. maybe you like hip hop or gladiator music, then this is the wrong movie for you.

    "random character"
    like someone else have said, it is another fan service, you ever been to school re-reunion or look at old pictures? that is how it feels when you see all the characters show up in their "1 dimentional attitude". EX the fat kid in schoo, the buff kid, the player, the clown.

    finally,

    some dude call cloud strife? learn to research before posting a review. gg

  • 19 - Luke

    Aug 22, 2006 at 3:50 am

    and just curious, did u watched it dub or subed? cause all and i mean ALL the anime when dubbed into english is horrible to watch, even i find the voice disturbing.

  • 20 - Snowman

    Sep 01, 2006 at 3:10 am

    amen to that

  • 21 - Sora

    Oct 04, 2006 at 2:17 pm

    Hey...

  • 22 - Sora

    Oct 04, 2006 at 2:19 pm

    I you would like the Victory Fanfare tone thats in FFVII AC then just talk to me...
    see ya!!!

  • 23 - Tim Weaver

    Oct 17, 2006 at 11:47 pm

    As an EXTREME Final Fantasy fan, this movie wasn't that hard to understand. In my opinion, if I were a non-FF fan, I still would have had a pretty good perspective on its storyline. I respect that you & Final Fantasy don't get along, but I would have givin the movie 5 out of 5 stars. Now with the announcment of Advent Children complete for DVD & Blu-Ray, I'm sure better things will come out of that.

  • 24 - Nightmareater

    Dec 15, 2006 at 2:04 pm

    lol this is actually funny, fanboys/fangirls you sure love to label people, you can't just go around telling people they're this and that when you don't know the person.. and to my point of view your review is shit.


    and yes I did read all the comments.

  • 25 - AJ

    Aug 16, 2007 at 1:24 pm

    I didnt play final fantasy VII (although since i saw 10 at my friends place ive been a huge FF fan since) and i still got most of the story. If you cant make out the diffirence between guys and girls you really suck. and is it so hard to realize that those guys who dropped in for the fight at the end were playable characters in the game. You are just plain dumb and should never review again.

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