Yuen, in his infinite wisdom, has smartly sliced this picture down to the bare essentials. The whole things runs at a brisk 87 minutes, leaving little room for a full-blown narrative to live and breathe and take root. Which is good, I guess, considering an engaging storyline has never been the director's strong point. Yuen is much better at lensing stylishly choreographed fight sequences, and while it's not the director's strongest effort by any stretch of the imagination, DOA does showcase some lofty kung fu insanity that will surely those searching for a cheap visceral thrill. However, martial arts purists will probably balk at the constant use of wires and CGI, not to mention Yuen's decision to completely waste what could have been his ace in the hole.
Which brings me to Kane Kosugi.
This guy is a monster. I became an instant fan after experiencing the empty yet enjoyable action-packed thriller Blood Heat last year. In fact, DOA's most satisfying fight involves Kosugi's infiltration of Eric Roberts' techno-tinged headquarters, which finds the nimble fighter battling a series of hapless goons as he gradually works his way up a flight of stairs. It's no Tom Yum Goong, mind you, but it's still an impressive sequence nonetheless. It's a shame his screen time is so limited. Had he been born with sizable breasts and a tight round ass, I doubt this would have been an issue.
To be fair, Jamie Pressly does have a few adrenaline-pumping moments of her own, especially during the film's grand finale which finds our adorable four kung fu cheerleaders battling that mildly deformed troll Eric Roberts, whose spiffy new age sunglasses grant him all of his adversary's abilities. Did I mention this movie is pretty stupid? I did? Well, it's a point that should be driven into your thick skull like a wooden stake; expecting anything worthwhile would just be silly. Of course, fans of Holly Valance, Sarah Carter, and Devon Aoki won't notice the lack of intelligence in the picture. More than likely, most people who investigate this title will have their hands full with other, er, things.
Article comments
1 - Ken Edwards
Nice job on the review. I am quite surprised it actually made it to theaters.
2 - T. Rigney
Thanks for the kind words. I'm very surprised this made it to theaters, as well, especially considering I've had the Region 3 DVD since late last year.